Abandoned Heart
by kitchmill
Summary: I wanted to push him away, to tell him to just go now, because I was a battle he'd never win.
1. Chapter 1

**Welcome to my new story! This one will be a little different from what I've written before, so I hope you enjoy the change.**

**A million thanks to beachcomberlc for editing again, and also to Deebelle1 for not only pre-reading but making the fuckawesome banners too.**

**In addition, I'd like to thank The International House of FanFic for featuring Abandoned Heart on their "One from the Elevator." If you haven't checked out their site, do it! Great story recs.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or its characters. No copyright infringement is intended. The plot, however, is all mine.**

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**Chapter 1**

"Are you serious?" I mumbled to myself while staring at the nearly lifeless body next to me. "Nice choice, Bella."

This night definitely did not turn out the way I had hoped. Taylor or Tyler—whatever the hell his name was—fell asleep the second he came back from disposing of the condom. His snores were loud and obnoxious, but at least they meant I wouldn't need to make any excuses to leave. And why shouldn't he fall right to sleep? He got his. Too bad he didn't bother taking care of me.

I counted in my head as soon as the snoring started. When I reached one hundred twenty without a break in the noise I knew I was home free. I slipped out of bed and grabbed my clothing, pulling each piece on as I went. By the time I got to the living room of his small apartment, I was shaking my head in disgust. The ridiculously messy state of his bachelor pad should have given me a clue that he'd be selfish, but I hadn't looked around on the way in. In my experience, guys who kept their place neat were typically more giving, while the slobs only cared about themselves.

Oh well. Live and learn.

He seemed like a nice guy when I met him at the bar, but then again I was already three sheets to the wind. His South African accent and dark, good looks drew me in, and he wasn't a bad kisser either. By the time we'd made it to his apartment it's not like I would have had any other options anyway.

I made sure I had my keys, cell phone and wallet before letting myself out into the hallway. I gripped the pepper spray on my key ring in my hand as I walked down the dimly lit stairs and out into the crisp evening air. It was only a few blocks to my apartment, but you could never be too careful. My father taught me that, along with several self defense moves, before he abandoned me.

_I'm sorry._

The note flashed in my mind before I had a chance to block out the memory. I squeezed my eyes shut so I wouldn't see what came next, effectively pushing the demons away. My eyes reopened once I had myself under control, though my hands continued to shake slightly.

I sighed as I hustled down the street. There was no sense going down memory lane after the night I'd just had. I still had enough alcohol flowing through my system to make me an emotional mess.

The loud crying started before I even had the key in the door of my apartment. It was like she had super senses. Maybe she did … she was a cat after all.

I dropped my keys and cell phone onto the table by the door before bending down to pick up the only one who would never willingly abandon me. She cried again but butted her head against my chin.

"I didn't even need to use you as an excuse tonight, Sandy." She meowed some more and licked my nose. I scrunched it up against her stinky breath. "I'll never understand why you do that, but thanks for the dermabrasion. No need for the Biore strips now."

She wiggled to get down so I let her go and made my way to bed. It looked like my Rabbit was going to get a workout tonight if I ever wanted to fall asleep since Tim or Tom or whoever the fuck he was hadn't gotten the job done. I definitely needed the sleep, which was why I thought going out on a Tuesday night had been a good idea in the first place. I figured I'd either end up getting a good release or getting so drunk I'd pass out. Neither happened, but my Rabbit wouldn't let me down.

The blaring alarm went off way too early. I groaned before slapping my hand over it and forcing myself to sit up. If I didn't, I'd fall right back to sleep. I had a meeting with my boss this morning about some big project she wanted me to work on so I couldn't be late. I was always the last one in the office anyway. As soon as I started moving from the bed, Sandy scrambled from where she was cuddled up by my hip and ran out of the room.

I dragged myself into the kitchen and made a cup of coffee which I chugged black—along with some ibuprofen—before I got into the shower to start my day. If it weren't for needing water in the fancy coffee maker, I'd just move it into the bedroom. The kitchen always seemed like it was so far away when I hadn't had a hit of caffeine yet.

I got dressed in my business casual attire, which consisted of a pair of formfitting khaki pants and a green silk blouse, threw my wet hair up in a bun and headed back to the kitchen. Since I didn't have a client-facing job, I never had to get dressed up like some of the other people in my office. It was nice to be able to stay low maintenance at work. It wasn't like I was trying to impress anyone. The last thing I needed was someone from the office hitting on me. I didn't date, and it would just make things awkward to have to fend off advances in the workplace.

I filled my travel mug with more coffee, this time doctoring it up with flavored creamer. I would actually enjoy this cup on the short walk to the office. I refilled Sandy's food and water bowls before gathering my briefcase and other essentials and heading out to work.

I got off the elevator in the lobby of the thirty-sixth floor and swiped my key card over the access panel of the door to the Human Resources department of Worldwide Insurance. When the lock clicked open, I entered the secured area.

"Morning, Bella!" Shelly's cheery voice sang across the enclosed space. I only grumbled in response. She knew I wasn't a morning person. "Rough night?"

I put my coffee mug on my desk and dropped my briefcase off my shoulder. It landed on the floor with a thud, and I cringed, hoping I hadn't damaged my laptop. "Something like that." I really didn't feel like discussing my disappointing one night stand with someone who had been happily married for longer than I'd been alive.

I started digging my laptop out of my bag when Esme breezed out of her office, perfectly put together and raring to go. "Oh good, you're here," she said as I set the computer on the docking station and turned it on. "I'll give you a few minutes to settle in. Just come in whenever you're ready."

"Sure, Esme. Let me just refill my coffee and then I'll be in."

She shook her head at me. "I don't know how you can drink so much coffee without putting something in your stomach. I swear, Bella, one of these days you're going to end up with an ulcer."

"That'll be the least of my problems," I mumbled under my breath.

Ten minutes later, with my notepad in one hand and a fresh cup of coffee in the other, I knocked on Esme's open doorframe. "Come on in and close the door," she answered.

Closed doors were the norm around here considering we tended to work with confidential information. I took a seat in one of the comfortable leather chairs across from Esme's desk. I always wondered why she had comfortable furniture in her office when every other office was stylishly outfitted with crap that looked good but gave you a backache as soon as your ass hit the seat. My best guess was if you were going to fire someone, you may as well make them comfortable while you did it.

I took a sip of my coffee and set it down on the edge of her desk, keeping my notepad in my lap.

"I have a big project that I need you to head up," Esme started in her no-nonsense voice. She was a sweet and caring woman, practically a mother to everyone in the office, but when something needed to be done, she didn't waste any time. "The corporate office has ordered Carlisle to 'find efficiencies and increase productivity.'" She rolled her eyes while finger quoting. "They've hired an efficiency expert to come in here and work with us to make changes. This will be announced to the rest of the office this afternoon."

"Okay," I said, still unsure of what this had to do with me. I took another sip of coffee while I listened.

"It's a six month project—" I noted that on my notepad "—and I want you to be the point of contact for whatever this guy needs. As our trainer, I know you can help him find the right people, set up meetings, create training programs, or whatever he determines we need to do." I nodded and she continued. "He'll be arriving tomorrow and getting started right away. You may as well block your calendar for the next few days to work with him until you can determine exactly what you'll need to help him with and what he'll be able to do on his own."

I continued taking notes as I scrunched up my nose, picturing spending the next few days or weeks locked in a conference room with some fat, balding "efficiency expert."

"Will he be set up on our systems?" I asked.

Esme nodded. "I already put in the request with IT to have him added as a contractor to our email and web systems, but you'll need to individually request any internal systems that he needs as you determine what they are. I assume at some point he'll need access to the underwriting workstation and claim files, but I'll leave all that to you."

We discussed some more details before I left Esme's office and got started on preparations. I rescheduled some one on one training sessions that I had coming up and booked a small conference room for the guy to use while he was here. We had some empty workstations that were set up for contractors, but I had a feeling this guy was going to need more space than a half cubicle.

After lunch, which I bought from the cafeteria but ate at my desk as usual, I attended the all-employee meeting headed by our regional president, and Esme's husband, Carlisle. He was a charismatic speaker and everyone loved him, but even Carlisle had trouble sugarcoating the fact that our corporate office thought expenses were too high. He tried to put a positive spin on gaining efficiencies. It fell flat even to my ears. When the employees were told it was likely for some of them to be chosen as experts in their departments and they'd need to spend time with this guy to help out, the grumbling was audible.

Of course no one would want to volunteer. It wasn't like their regular jobs would go away, and now they'd have to dedicate time to helping this guy find efficiencies. It would land on me to appoint people to help with the project. We all also knew there was the possibility of cutting jobs any time something like this happened. I wasn't too fearful for my own job, but I could understand an underwriting assistant suddenly becoming obsolete when a faster way to enter data was found.

Knowing I'd need to be at my best the following day when I met with this guy, I knocked back two Tylenol PM with my glass of wine before bed. It wasn't the greatest option, but I hadn't had solid sleep in about a week.

I was much more rested when my alarm went off in the morning, although it took me a minute to shoo Sandy off of my hair so I could lift my head. After my traditional first jolt of caffeine, I took a little extra time getting ready for work, drying my hair and leaving it flowing in loose waves down my back. I dressed a little nicer also, opting for a knee length black skirt and a deep purple blouse. I skipped pantyhose since the early September weather was still warm during the day but did add a touch of makeup.

Shelly's greeting actually elicited a smile from me as I began to set up my laptop, but I groaned as I saw two wrapped gifts on my desk. Every year I told them to let the day go by like any other day, but Esme and Shelly always made sure to acknowledge my birthday.

I opened a small box wrapped in colorful paper first after reading the tag, which indicated it was from Shelly. Inside I found a lovely beaded bookmark that would hang between the pages of whatever I was reading.

"Thank you, Shelly," I called over to her. "It's perfect."

"It's my pleasure, dear. I know how much you enjoy reading real books instead of those electronic things everyone has these days."

I gave her a smile as I started digging in to the larger package, which was from Esme and Carlisle. The gift bag contained a leather bound journal and an expensive looking pen. I wondered briefly if they conspired to buy me things for my two passions—reading and writing.

I placed the journal and pen on the end of my desk and went to Esme's open door.

"Good morning," she said when she saw me standing there.

"Morning," I responded brightly. "Thank you for the journal and the pen. They're great."

She waved me off as if her thoughtfulness was nothing. "Oh, Carlisle is meeting with the consultant this morning to go over the corporate goals, and then he wants to take us to lunch today so we can both meet him before you get started this afternoon."

I nodded my agreement and decided I could use the morning to tie up a few loose ends before I immersed myself in this new project. I proofread a revised training manual and then printed it out for Esme's approval. She returned it to me half an hour later with no changes, so I was able to distribute it to the appropriate department and cross it off my "to do" list.

Right around twelve fifteen, I heard the door lock disengage and Carlisle opened the door.

"Your access card won't allow you entry here, so you'll have to ring the buzzer for someone to let you in," he said as he led someone into our department. He came to Shelly's desk first and stopped to introduce the person, but I didn't hear a word he said.

My eyes were fixed on the guy I assumed was the consultant, who was neither fat nor bald. He was tall and thin but filled out his suit perfectly, with hair that ranged in color from brown to red to blond and was situated in an artful mess on his head. I noted a sharp jaw and high cheekbones along with a strong-looking nose. Something Shelly said made him laugh, and he threw his head back, letting out a rich sound that settled low in my gut.

And then he turned to face me, intense green eyes staring into mine with some kind of strange emotion. I forced my focus away from that.

I didn't do emotion, and especially not with someone I had to work with. I had carved out a safe little bubble for myself, and that was where I would stay.

Carlisle's voice broke our wordless interchange. "And this is Bella Swan. Bella, I'd like you to meet Edward Masen."

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**A/N: I will be posting on Mondays and Thursdays until the story is complete. Teasers will be posted on my Facebook page since the fanfic world seems to have lost most of our teaser sites. Link to Facebook is in my profile. If you have sent me a friend request and I have not responded, please PM me. If I can't see that you are 18 from your public profile, I may not have accepted your request.**

**The Twilight Science-Fantasy Contest is coming! Submissions are being accepted now through May 15, 2014. Search for author twiscififantasycontest on FFN.**

**Reviews make my day!**


	2. Chapter 2

**A few questions that have come up:**

1. How many chapters is the story? There are 24 chapters total, including the epilogue, and the entire story is pre-written.

2. Will we hear from Edward? No. This is Bella's story, although I won't rule out an outtake or futuretake at some point in time.

3. How bad is the angst? Honestly, it's very low. I'm an angst wuss, so I doubt I could write anything too bad even if I tried. I purposely chose angst as the secondary genre because it isn't the main focus of the story, but I didn't want anyone to be surprised when it does happen.

As an FYI, this story is rated M for more than just the sexual situations. There will be some difficult subject matter. I will not ruin the story by discussing it further, but should you have concerns, please send me a PM with any subjects you will NOT read, and I will let you know if you should proceed with the story or not.

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**Chapter 2**

I took the outstretched hand in my own, and an unfamiliar sensation passed up my arm, warming my body. His fingers closed over mine and he held our hands still for a beat longer than necessary before shaking politely.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Ms. Swan." His deep voice washed over me unexpectedly, encompassing me in a momentary stupor.

I met his eyes again and put on my best professional demeanor. "Just Bella, please. And it's nice to meet you too."

"Edward," he reminded me with a slight nod. A half smile appeared on his face before Carlisle interrupted.

"I hope you'll put that to good use," Carlisle said, motioning toward the journal still sitting on my desk.

"Definitely," I assured him. "Thank you so much, Carlisle." I already had plans for the journal.

He waved me off. "You know that was all Esme." He turned to Edward before continuing. "It just so happens to be Bella's birthday today. One more reason to have a leisurely lunch and get to know each other." I felt my cheeks heat at his words and hated it. "Come, let me introduce you to my wife and then we'll go."

I blinked a few times after they disappeared into Esme's office, leaving me still standing and gaping next to my desk.

"Oh my," Shelly said. "I wouldn't mind trading places with you and working with that hunk on a long-term project." She wiggled her penciled-in eyebrows at me.

"Shelly!" I admonished. "What would Martin say if he heard you talk like that? You're old enough to be his grandmother! You just stick to your payroll over there, young lady."

She laughed loudly. "A girl can dream," she said with a sigh, her slightly wrinkled features taking on a dreamy expression.

I shook my head at her and smiled as I gathered my cell phone and purse for lunch. I was ready to go when everyone exited Esme's office.

"Shall we?" she asked, leading the way out of our department and to the elevator.

Carlisle continued to give Edward the rundown on the office while we walked to a nearby restaurant, but I stayed quiet, walking a few steps behind the men with Esme. I had to admit, the view wasn't bad from this angle either, but I needed to keep my head on straight with this guy. I had a feeling he could be dangerous.

When we reached the restaurant and were shown to a table, I was surprised by Edward pulling out a chair and gesturing to it for me to sit down while Carlisle did the same for Esme.

"Thank you," I mumbled as I sat.

"Any time," he said, his hand briefly resting on my shoulder and sending a shiver down my back before he moved away and sat in the chair next to mine. The square table was just big enough for the four of us, and I could feel the heat coming off Edward's leg where it rested near my own.

"So, Edward, tell us a little about yourself," Esme said to get the conversation started.

I buried my head in my menu but listened intently. Just because I would never date someone I worked with—or never date anyone at all—didn't mean I wasn't interested.

"Not much to tell, really. I grew up in a small town in Washington State, but my home office is out of Seattle. I don't spend a lot of time there though since the job has me traveling so much. But the nice part is that I've gotten to see a lot of the country over the last few years."

I was pretty sure I could listen to this guy talk for hours and never get bored of the tone of his voice.

"Do you get to see a lot of sights while you're traveling for work?" Carlisle asked.

"Some," Edward answered. "It usually depends on where I am and how long I'm there. In some places, you have to travel far in order to do any kind of sightseeing, and when I'm only there for a short time I don't always get a chance."

"Well, I'm sure that won't be a problem in Philly," Carlisle said. "Obviously you'll be here for a while, and there's plenty to do around here without even needing a car. In fact, I'm sure Bella can point you in the right direction. You're probably about the same age and likely have similar interests."

My eyes widened behind my menu before I schooled my features and lowered it. I found Edward's green eyes looking right at me. "Um, yeah … sure, whatever you need." My teeth dug into my bottom lip and dropped my eyes back to the menu.

I saw Edward's nod out of the corner of my eye, and I'm pretty sure he had a smirk on his face as well.

We ordered lunch and ate while Edward discussed some of the basics of what he would need to do to get started. I stayed relatively quiet and took mental notes while Carlisle chimed in with recommendations. A few times, I swore I could feel Edward's stare burning through the side of my face.

Eventually Esme turned the conversation back to Edward's personal life. "Where do you stay when you're on long assignments like this?"

Edward took a sip of his drink and put it down before responding. "Sometimes I stay at an extended stay hotel, but my company was able to secure me a furnished apartment a few blocks from the office this time."

"Oh? Which one?" she inquired.

"The Regency."

I nearly choked on my water, my eyes bulging out of their sockets.

"Bella will definitely be able to show you around then," she said cheerfully. "That's where she lives also."

"Is that so?"

When I turned to look at him he was smirking again. "Yes," I answered quietly.

"I'm sure that will be great," he added.

"Well," Carlisle started after handing the bill back to the waiter. "Why don't we head back to the office so you two can get started? I'm sure there's a lot you can accomplish this afternoon."

Carlisle pointed out a few places of interest on the way back, but before I knew it, Edward was standing next to my desk waiting for me to get him started. I left my personal belongings and told him to follow me. We headed back into the main lobby area and I pointed out the hallway leading to the cafeteria.

"A lot of our employees buy breakfast or lunch here," I told him. "It's especially busy on rainy and cold days. Restrooms are down that way." I pointed down the opposite hallway. "Your access card will get you through most doors except the HR department."

He nodded his understanding.

"I booked this conference room for you pretty much for your entire stay," I explained as I opened the door. The motion sensor lights flickered on as we stepped inside. "I figured you'd need some space to work, and there's a white board, phone … pretty much everything you might need."

"This is great," he said, laying his briefcase on the table and pulling out his laptop.

"Do you need some time to get settled before we start?"

"Sure. Maybe you could show me where to get some coffee around here."

"A man after my own heart," I said under my breath. "Right this way."

We walked side by side in silence until we reached the side of the cafeteria where the coffee makers and water cooler were. "Just choose your flavor and pop it in the machine," I explained. Edward got to work on one machine and I made myself a cup on the other. "When you're not in the office, Wawa and Dunkin Donuts both have good coffee, and they're both only about a block from The Regency."

"Good to know," he said as he pulled his cup out of the machine. He added some cream and sugar while I did the same, not looking up when he spoke again. "Or I could just come over to your place and borrow a cup."

I bit the inside of my cheek and stared into my cup as I stirred.

"Sorry, that was supposed to be a joke."

I shrugged. "It's fine," I lied. There was no denying that if I met this guy at a bar I'd be all over him for a one night stand, but flirting in the office wasn't going to happen. I wasn't sure I'd be able to control myself if I gave in to his banter, and that would just lead to more problems.

We made our way back to the conference room and I told Edward I'd be back in a few minutes so we could each take a quick break. I needed to use the restroom and grab my laptop. Ten minutes later we were sitting across from each other in the small room sipping our coffees.

"So, how do we get started?" I asked nervously. "I'm not exactly sure what you're going to need from me."

"Well, Carlisle gave me some information this morning, but I guess it would be best if you could start with a rundown of the structure here, maybe show me how to use the intranet …" He trailed off with a shrug.

I nodded and brought my coffee around to his side of the conference table. "The intranet is probably the best place to start. I'll show you what kind of information is there, and that'll help you learn about the company. You can ask questions as we go."

I directed him to the internal company website and showed him some of the basic features like employee lookup, department structure charts and news releases. He asked a lot of good questions, which led me to show him other things. We did an in-depth review of the structure of the office so Edward could get a feel for the different areas he needed to focus on. Before I knew it, the afternoon had flown by and it was after five o'clock.

"Do you usually leave at five?" he asked me.

I shrugged. "Sometimes, but I can stay if you need me to. Technically my hours are eight thirty to five, but who ever actually gets out on time?"

"I think we've had enough for one day. I'll just match my hours to yours while we're working together." He closed the lid of his laptop and started packing it away. "Is it okay if I leave some of these printouts in here?"

"Yeah, this is your office for now, so you can leave whatever you want. It doesn't lock, so I wouldn't leave your laptop." I gathered my laptop, noticing that the battery was running low and I'd need to bring my power cord the next day. "I need to go back into my office."

"Is it okay if I wait for you? We could walk home together."

I kept my head down. "Um, sure."

It only took a minute for me to gather my belongings and then we were in the crowded elevator together, waiting for it to descend to the lobby. Edward stood right next to me, not touching me but close enough that I could once again feel the heat of his body on my arm and leg. Since we were the last to enter the express elevator, I stepped out first and sighed, happy to remove myself from his close proximity.

"So, can you recommend any good takeout places around here?" he asked as we walked side by side down the street. "I just got in yesterday so I haven't had a chance to get any groceries yet."

"Sure, what kind of food do you like?" This was something I could do.

"Pretty much anything, but I guess pizza or Chinese would be a good start."

I nodded and thought about it momentarily, deciding on the best options that would deliver. Then I got nervous again. "I have some menus in my apartment. I can bring them over to you if you tell me what apartment you're in."

"That would be great, but I can just stop at your place so you don't have to go out of your way." I started to shake my head, but he cut me off. "Really, it's no problem. I've already taken up a lot of your time today."

I let out a quiet sigh as we reached the entrance to the building. He pulled open the door and motioned for me to enter first. We entered the lobby and I made a beeline for the elevator, jabbing my finger repeatedly into the up button.

The doors finally opened and he waved for me to go in first again, so I stepped in and pressed seven, watching out of the corner of my eye as a smirk appeared on his face. "Looks like we're neighbors," he said.

He stayed on the opposite side of the car with one hand gripping the strap of his briefcase and the other shoved deep in his pocket. "Did Carlisle tell you that the office is business casual?" I asked as I looked over his well-tailored suit again.

He nodded sharply. "He did, but thank you. I'll definitely be more casual tomorrow."

"Actually," I started as the elevator doors opened on what was apparently _our_ floor. I stepped out and waited for Edward to follow me. "Fridays are even more casual. Most people wear jeans."

"Good to know."

"This is me," I said as we reached apartment seven oh two.

"I'm on the other side of the building, seven sixteen," he noted.

I rolled my eyes as the crying began on the other side of the door. Edward's thick brows drew together as I unlocked the door. "My cat," I explained.

He smiled. The door opened and I reached down to pick Sandy up, but she darted out of my reach and over to Edward, purring loudly and shoving her head up against his ankles.

"Sorry about that," I said as I reached for her again, letting my briefcase and purse fall off my shoulder. Her long, tan fur was going to leave a mess on his dark suit pants.

He laughed and waved me off, placing his briefcase on the floor next to the door. "It's okay." He bent down and picked her up, holding her at face level. "You're a cutie, aren't you? What's your name?"

She seemed awfully content as he cuddled her to his chest, so I headed to the kitchen to find the takeout menus. "Her name's Sandy," I commented over my shoulder. It was uncomfortable to have him in my apartment—I _never_ had guys in my apartment—so I wanted to get him what he needed as quickly as possible.

I rifled through the drawer of menus until I found the two I was looking for and went back into the living room. Edward was still holding my cat cuddled up to his chest, and she was more content than I'd ever seen her. "Slut," I muttered under my breath. "Here you go. Both places are good, so I guess it depends on what you're in the mood for."

His eyes locked on mine for a moment before he looked back to the furball in his arms. "Thanks." He placed her down on the floor, but she continued to rub up against him. "Can I treat you to some takeout tonight to thank you for all of your help?"

I tried to hold in my grimace. "No, thanks. I actually have a lot to do tonight."

He nodded and reached for his briefcase. "I'll bring these back when I'm done with them."

"That's okay. I've already got the phone numbers in my cell. You can keep them." I waved him off.

"Okay. I guess I'll see you tomorrow. Have a good night, Bella."

Why did my name have to sound so good coming from him?

"You too," I said as he reached for the door knob.

"And happy birthday," he added quickly before slipping out the door.

I closed it behind him, resting my back against it as I exhaled loudly. Sandy looked up at me and cried, so I picked her up and held her to my chest. She purred and bumped my chin with her head, and that's when I smelled it. She was covered in Edward's scent, and it was heavenly.

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**A/N: I'm so happy so many of you enjoyed the first chapter! I love reading your reviews.**

**See you on Thursday!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

I walked into the hallway on Friday morning and nearly ran back inside my apartment, but it was too late. Edward was standing at the elevator, and his eyes caught mine as soon as I stepped out, causing my heart rate to pick up. I closed the door behind me and checked it was locked while Edward held the elevator.

"Thanks," I said quietly, dropping my keys in my purse and pretending to search for something with the hand that wasn't holding my travel coffee mug.

"Good morning," he greeted.

"Morning." I gave up the pretense and finally looked at him fully, nearly sorry that I did.

If I thought he looked good yesterday in a suit, I was wrong. That had nothing on today's casual look. He wore dark jeans that sat low on his hips but accentuated strong thighs. A light blue button down shirt was tucked in neatly, but the sleeves were rolled up to just below his elbows and the top two buttons were left open. The opening of his shirt showed just a hint of his chest, enough to make me want to see more of what was under the perfectly fitted cotton.

His hand moved up and ran through his hair, drawing my attention to his face. His green eyes seemed to pop against the light color of his shirt.

"So, did you have big plans for your birthday or something?" he asked casually as we stepped off the elevator.

"Um, no. Just had some work to catch up on," I lied smoothly. He didn't need to know that I spent the evening on my couch with a bottle of wine and then spent the night in my room tossing and turning while trying to rid my head of visions of him. It didn't help when Sandy curled up in the space between my neck and shoulder, assaulting me once again with Edward's scent.

"Thanks for the menus," he said as we stepped out onto the street. "I ended up walking down to China Palace to pick up my food and take a look around the neighborhood."

"It's a nice walk when the weather's not bad," I commented, happy enough to make polite conversation.

"Yeah, and I found a couple other interesting places. There was a diner that looked good."

"Cherry Street Café," I interjected with a nod. "We go there a lot."

"Hmm. Is Whitlock's any good?" he asked.

I chuckled under my breath and nodded. "We go there a lot too. My friend, Alice—she works at Worldwide—her boyfriend owns it." It also happened to be my favorite place to pick up one night stands.

"I'll have to check it out." He shoved his hands in his pockets.

We walked the rest of the way to the office in silence, the express elevator once again crowded with people heading to floors thirty-six through fifty-two. I stepped off quickly once the doors opened on our floor.

"I need to check in with Esme and then I'll be in," I said before darting to our locked door.

Edward seemed to stay in place for a moment, but I watched him turn toward his conference room as the glass door closed after me. I needed a minute to gather myself together. I could not be daydreaming about him when we had to work in close quarters together all day. I entertained the idea that maybe I could sleep with him once right before his assignment was over here, and the more I thought about it, the more it seemed like a good idea. It would give me something to look forward to, a goal of sorts.

With a new resolve to be professional for the next six months, I stuck my head into Esme's office to say hello and then went to meet Edward in the conference room. It was empty when I entered, so I began setting up my laptop and power cord, although this time I placed it on the same side of the table as his. We'd be working together much more today and the proximity would make things easier.

Edward entered a few minutes later with a fresh cup of coffee in his hand. "I would have gotten you one but I wasn't sure if you still had some left," he said, gesturing to my travel mug.

"Oh, thanks. Yeah, I'm good for about ten more minutes," I joked, earning a crooked smile from him.

His laptop had been powering up while he was out of the room, so he was ready to go when he sat down.

"Where should we start today?" I asked since he was running this show.

"I thought maybe we could go through the functions of each department a little more so I can decide which ones I need a representative from."

We got down to work after that. I went through each department and what they did and then scoured the employee lists to decide who would best represent that group on the team we were putting together.

It didn't escape my attention that Edward took any opportunity he could to touch me, whether he placed his fingers on my forearm as something occurred to him or a hand on my shoulder as he leaned over to look at my screen. Each touch sent shivers through my body, but I reminded myself of my new goal to make it through the next six months—and hopefully then be rewarded.

When lunchtime rolled around, Edward asked if I would join him in the cafeteria. I figured that would be fine since we could continue our discussions over lunch, but that wasn't quite how things played out.

"What's good here?" he asked as I led him through the various stations.

I shrugged. "It's all pretty good, depending on what you like. There's a menu on the intranet to tell you the daily specials," I explained, pointing out the area where the specials were served. "But they always have a salad bar, some grab-and-go salads and sandwiches, fruit, yogurt, or you can have them make you a sandwich."

Edward looked everything over while I headed to the sandwich counter, but he ended up right behind me in line. "A sandwich sounds good for today," he said, stuffing his hands into his jeans pockets. He looked rather boyish and adorable as he rocked back on his heels.

"Hey, Bella," Ben called cheerily from behind the counter. "The usual today?"

"Please," I said, watching as he started making my Italian hoagie on a whole grain roll. I stepped off to the side while he worked on it.

"What do you want with it?" he asked as he layered the meats on the roll.

"Do you have potato salad today?"

"On the salad bar." He handed me a plastic cup so I could go fill it myself.

Edward looked perplexed when I turned around so I explained. "The sandwiches come with chips or pretzels, but if you don't want that you can get one of the side salads. They usually have either pasta salad, egg salad or potato salad."

"Today is pasta and potato," Ben chimed in.

I got my potato salad while he finished making my sandwich, returning just in time for him to hand it to me. I waited off to the side while Edward ordered a turkey sandwich and asked for a side of potato salad.

"I usually live on snack food like chips and pretzels, so this is a nice change," he said when he returned to pick up his completed sandwich.

I offered him the drinks area which he declined in favor of the water cooler, so we paid, found a table and put our food down before I led him back to the cooler and we both got our drinks.

We sat down and took a few bites of our food. I was just about to start talking about the meeting we were trying to schedule when Edward broke the silence.

"Is it some kind of Philly thing to put vinegar on the bread first?"

I looked up at him, surprised he had noticed that and also that he would ask about it. "Um, no," I said with a shrug. "Ben just knows that's how I like it."

He chuckled a little, which was another sound that was music to my ears. "I thought maybe there was something different about eating sandwiches in Philadelphia. I've only ever seen vinegar used as a topping."

I took a breath and held it, pursing my lips.

"Doesn't that make your bread all soggy and the sandwich fall apart? I don't even know how you can eat it like that." He smirked as he took a bite of his potato salad.

He was goading me and I didn't want to respond, but I had to defend myself, even if it was over something as stupid as a sandwich.

"Actually," I started, "it's the only way to keep the vinegar on the sandwich. If you put it on top of the meat or lettuce, it just runs right off. If you put it on the bread before you put anything else on it, it will actually soak into the bread so you keep the flavor. And if you put on just the right amount like Ben does, it won't get soggy. See?" I held up my sandwich to prove my point and took a big bite of it.

Edward laughed out loud, but I wasn't sure if it was at my defensiveness or my lack of manners. Either way, I once again felt the sound in parts of my body I thought had died long ago.

I chewed my food and prepared to turn the conversation back to work, but Edward once again beat me to it.

"Are you from around here?" he asked.

I finished chewing and wiped my mouth on my napkin. "Not too far," I told him. "I grew up about an hour and a half from Philly."

"Did you come to the city a lot growing up?"

I shrugged. "Some, I guess. The obligatory school trips to see the historical sites mostly. But when I was old enough we used to take the train into town to go to South Street or do some shopping." I shook my head as I marveled over how easily he got me to open up about myself when I usually clammed up with acquaintances in the office. In fact, I didn't really have any friends—in the office or out of it—aside from Alice. And that was the way it needed to stay.

"Did you go to school here?"

"Yeah, Temple University. It's not too far from here." I waved my hand at the wall of windows next to us as if he could see the campus from here.

He took a sip of his water and put the cup down. "Does your family still live in the area?"

"No." I was pretty sure my sharp tone was what put an end to the conversation. My eyes dropped back to my sandwich and I took a bite, but instead of tasting my favorite concoction, it tasted like cardboard.

Edward let out a small sigh before returning his attention to his own lunch.

Once we finished eating and cleaned up our trash, we met back in the conference room after we each stopped in the restroom. Edward must have picked up on my cues from lunch because he dove right back in to planning his agenda for our kickoff meeting while I busied myself with preparing the meeting invitation.

When I had everything set up and ready to go, I let him proofread the document before I sent it out to all of the participants. It would be short notice for a meeting on Monday afternoon, but we didn't have much choice in the matter. I showed Edward how I checked everyone's calendars on Outlook so he'd be able to do it next time. Almost everyone was available with only one person having a conflicting meeting.

"So, I'll get the meeting responses this time since I organized the meeting, but if you create a meeting the responses will go to you. You have to remember to book a conference room also, and those schedules come up the same as a person's schedule." I showed him how to figure out which conference room to use based on the number of people it could hold and the resources available in it.

As I finished my explanation, the first response came in so I showed him what it looked like. He leaned over the back of my chair with his hands on either side of me on the table but not touching me this time. It didn't matter, since my body seemed wired to respond to his proximity in addition to his touch. I could feel my cheeks flushing while my stomach tightened, and my throat bobbed in nervousness.

"Thanks for taking care of that," he said, much closer to my ear than I expected.

His warm breath on my neck caused an involuntary shiver to run through my body, and I fisted my hands in my lap. This was going to be a long six months.

"Well," he said, pushing off the table and taking a step back. "I think we're good for today, and it's just about five o'clock anyway."

I nodded and started shutting down my computer while Edward did the same. While it was turning off, I busied myself with putting my notepad and pen in my briefcase. When I turned back around in my chair, he was looking at me with that same intensity I'd seen several times already.

"What do you say you take me to a good bar in the area and I buy you a drink?" he asked with narrowed eyes.

I took a deep breath and let it out, the long hair around my face fanning out in the process. I would be risking a later chance with him by turning him down now, but I didn't have much choice. It was highly likely that he'd find another willing participant in the next five minutes.

"I don't mean to sound conceited or anything," I started, hesitating slightly with my assumption of what he wanted. "But I don't date." I bit my lip and diverted my eyes.

His deep chuckle brought my eyes right back up to his. He leaned forward and placed his hands on the armrests of my chair, pulling it forward so his knees rested on the outsides of my thighs. "Can I tell you a secret?" he asked in a low voice. I nodded minutely, and he took that as an invitation to lean in further, getting his lips close to my ear. "I don't date either." His warm breath caused my insides to clench. "I was hoping to get you drunk and into my bed."

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**A/N: Thank you for reading and reviewing! I love hearing from you, and I'm so glad so many of you liked Sandy.**

**I'll post a teaser for the next chapter over the weekend. See you Monday!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Just a reminder that this story is rated M. If you are younger than 18, please click the x.**

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**Chapter 4**

A million thoughts flashed through my mind the second those words left Edward's mouth—everything from how bad of an idea that was to how good it could be. He leaned back in his chair with a smug look while the possibilities rolled through my head.

Edward was only here for a limited time, and while six months would definitely constitute a relationship under normal circumstances, if we kept things casual this could work as a mutually beneficial arrangement. I knew he was leaving so I wouldn't get attached and I wouldn't get hurt. In the mean time, we were obviously attracted to each other and could use that physical attraction to our advantage. We were both consenting adults, and the thought of having regular orgasms without having to hunt down a willing participant for the next six months was incredibly appealing.

Even so, the words surprised me as they left my mouth. "How about I just meet you at your place later tonight?"

So much for my goal of waiting until right before he left.

He quirked an eyebrow and nodded. "I can live with that."

"How does nine o'clock sound?"

"Perfect. That way I can grab some alcohol and food before you get there."

I didn't bother to tell him he didn't need to feed me. Instead, I directed him to the places in the area he needed to go, and then we went our separate ways.

Sandy was crying as usual when I got home from work, and I sat on the couch with her for about an hour to try and calm my nerves. As good as this idea sounded a little while ago, it was now feeling like it could end up being very wrong. I was certainly no stranger to one night stands, but this somehow felt _different._

I decided I would have to lay some ground rules once I determined if Edward was even interested in more than a one-time thing. It would have to stay casual with no attachments, and most importantly no hint of anything in the office.

I eventually hauled myself up and got into the shower, wanting to ensure everything was properly shaved and trimmed. I didn't usually care too much since I knew I'd never see my conquests again, but I wanted to keep this one around for a while.

My eyes were drawn to a pattern of water droplets on the wall of the shower, and a flash of red passed too quickly for me to shut it out. "Not now," I whispered, clenching my eyes against the onslaught of memories. My fingernails dug into my palms, giving me something else to focus on until the visions disappeared. I shut off the water and nearly ran from the bathroom into my bedroom.

Once I calmed down and dried off, I let my hair air dry while I ate a bowl of pasta. I'd need some liquid courage for tonight, and it was always best to have some food in my stomach. My hair had nice waves in it by the time I finished eating, so I used the hairdryer on a low setting to set it. I picked out a matching dark purple bra and underwear set, and then I slipped into my favorite pair of black skinny jeans and a cut up Rolling Stones concert T-shirt. It wasn't the sexiest outfit on the outside, although the shirt did show some cleavage and stomach, but it was comfortable and I hoped he would care more about what was underneath.

I didn't care if he liked me. He only had to want to keep fucking me.

In the end I opted for some black eyeliner and mascara. My cheeks blushed on their own on a regular basis, and I hated lipstick. I always ended up chewing it off anyway.

At eight thirty, my nerves kicked into high gear. I grabbed a bottle of vodka out of the freezer and poured myself a shot, downing it without bothering to recap the bottle. I slammed the shot glass on the counter and let out a breath to counteract the burn, closing my eyes as I attempted to steel my nerves.

I let the first shot settle a bit before going back for the second, but I did put the bottle away after that. I had a feeling I would want to remember tonight, especially if it did turn out to be the only time we got together.

I checked on Sandy, who was asleep in the couch, and then grabbed a stack of Dixie cups from the bathroom. Inside my purse I found the wristlet containing my ID and money. I put my cell phone inside the wristlet and attached my keys to it. I wouldn't be staying overnight, so no need to bring anything extra.

With the Dixie cups in hand, I locked my apartment door before I could change my mind. The vodka loosened me up nicely and I was ready to get on with this.

At two minutes after nine I knocked on the door of apartment seven sixteen. It swung open to a view of Edward with his sexy crooked smile.

"Hey, come on in," he said.

I nearly laughed when I took in his appearance. He must have showered because his hair was still damp and darker than usual. He was also wearing black jeans, and a Rush T-shirt stretched nicely across his chest.

His eyebrows furrowed as I stepped in and he looked at the cups in my hand.

"I wasn't sure what kind of alcohol you were getting, and I figured your apartment didn't come furnished with shot glasses," I said with a shrug.

"Good thinking," he commented as he closed the door behind me. "Obviously it's not much since I just moved in."

The music playing softly from a set of speakers near the kitchen made me smile. I recognized it as Boston. Clearly we had similar tastes in music. I glanced around the apartment, which was a replica of mine but sparsely furnished. A basic couch and chair sat in the living room along with an industrial looking wooden coffee table.

"Have a seat," he offered. "I have beer, wine and tequila. I didn't know what you'd like."

"Beer's fine for now."

I sat on one end of the couch and looked around some more while he disappeared into the kitchen. He hadn't been here long enough to make too much of a mess, but I was happy to note there were no dirty dishes sitting around or shoes left haphazardly in the living room. He could have straightened up before I arrived, but for now I'd take it as a good sign.

Edward returned and handed me a beer. He took a seat in the middle of the couch and held his bottle out to mine. "What shall we drink to?" he asked with a raised eyebrow.

"How about … to a successful partnership?"

He dipped his chin in agreement. "I like that. To a successful partnership."

The necks of our bottles clinked together, and we both took a healthy pull of the lager. I swallowed and held my beer in both hands, turning to face him with one leg tucked under my body. Edward's eyes never left me as he drank, that same intensity still burning from their depths.

"So," I started, ready to get on with things. I was definitely horny whenever I was around this guy, and knowing he was interested made me want to jump him immediately. But we had to get a few things straight first.

"So …" he mimicked.

"I was thinking we should have some ground rules." I looked down and picked at the label on the bottle.

"Go on."

"No dating."

"Strictly sexual," he agreed with a nod since we had already covered that one earlier.

"No sleepovers," I added.

"Okay," he said more hesitantly.

"And nothing at work."

"Fair enough. I'd like to add one, if I may." I nodded. "As long as this is going on, there's no one else. I'm all for casual, but I'd prefer we were both only available to each other. If either of us wants out, we let the other know."

"That's fine with me." I took another large gulp of my beer.

"Can I offer you a shot of tequila in a Dixie cup?"

I laughed but agreed. "Yeah, that sounds good."

I followed him into the kitchen where he picked up the already opened bottle of tequila. It looked like I wasn't the only one who needed a little Dutch courage earlier tonight.

Edward filled two cups and then turned to the refrigerator. He came back to the counter with a bowl of sliced lemons and reached up into a cabinet to pull out a salt shaker.

"You weren't messing around," I noted.

"Nope," he said, shaking his head slowly and keeping his eyes on mine.

I was already getting wet from the depth of his stare. The thought of doing body shots with him only increased the amount of moisture between my legs.

"Ladies first," he offered with a slow wave of his hand.

I grabbed his forearm before he could let it drop and brought it toward me, keeping my eyes locked with his. My hand slid down his arm until I was holding onto the back of his hand with his palm in front of my face. I licked my lips and then slowly brought his wrist closer. I inhaled his musky scent—the same scent that drove me crazy the night before when it was all over my cat—as my tongue took a long, slow swipe over his skin.

His eyes darkened as he watched first my tongue and then my eyes. I continued to hold his gaze as I reached out for the salt shaker and sprinkled some over the wet trail. I licked him again, this time gathering the tiny crystals on my tongue and moaning lightly as I brought them into my mouth.

I had to look away to pick up my shot cup and down it, and when I righted my head he had a lemon slice between his teeth. I stood on my toes to reach his mouth, not touching him in any other way except for our lips brushing together as I took the acidic chaser from him. I sucked the juice from it and tossed the remains into the sink.

His chest was heaving, and a glance at his crotch showed that Edward enjoyed that as much as I did.

He didn't waste a second before he stepped forward and pushed my hair behind my shoulder. He leaned down with his lips hovering over the curve of my neck and his hot breath sweeping across the area. I swallowed hard while everything south of my belly button clenched.

I had to close my eyes when his tongue swiped leisurely over my skin, leaving a burning trail behind, and I couldn't wait to find out what that tongue could do to other parts of my body. He stepped back only far enough to see as he shook some salt onto my skin, and then his lips descended on me. My hands formed into fists to keep from grabbing him while his entire mouth covered the area and he sucked—hard.

He moaned into my skin and I whimpered, only letting out my breath when he removed himself to take his shot. His eyes locked back onto mine when I put the lemon in my mouth. He tossed the cup off to the side and came at me quickly, pulling the lemon from my teeth, sucking briefly and then spitting it out over his shoulder in the direction of the counter.

In a split second his mouth covered mine. His lips were soft but determined as they sucked my bottom lip into his mouth and then opened. Our tongues met in the middle, stroking each other and exploring, tasting of spice and citrus.

He grabbed my hips and pulled them to his, his fingers searing me where they touched my skin above the waist of my low rise jeans. I slid my hands up his neck to tangle in that mess of hair I'd been dying to touch since the first time I saw him. It was softer than I expected, slipping easily through my fingers until I grabbed on and gave a gentle tug.

Edward groaned low in his chest and I felt the vibrations everywhere our bodies were connected. He lowered his hands to my ass and squeezed, pushing us together and grinding his erection into my hip.

I didn't know how long we stood there kissing hungrily before he mumbled, "Bedroom," against my lips and lifted me by my thighs as if I weighed nothing.

My legs automatically wrapped around his waist and I tightened my grip on his shoulders. He never stopped kissing me as he moved through the living room and into the bedroom. By the time we got there my panties were nearly obliterated from the feel of his lips and tongue and our bodies pressed together.

With a hand on my outer thigh, he coaxed me to release the hold I had on his waist and slowly lowered me to the floor, still not breaking the kiss. His hands went to my hips again, slowly sliding up under my shirt until they encompassed my ribs and seared my skin in the process. He moved his kisses to my jaw and then my neck, dipping down into the open collar of my shirt and pushing it aside until he reached the top swell of my breast.

I let out a low moan and then dragged my hands down his toned chest to the hem of his shirt, pushing them underneath until I felt the contraction of his abs under my fingertips.

Edward backed away slightly and lifted my shirt higher. I untangled my arms and lifted them over my head so he could remove it.

"Fuck," he muttered, staring at my chest while his own heaved. His eyes had a gleam in them when they moved up to meet mine. "So fucking gorgeous."

I whipped his shirt off and pulled him back to me, crashing my mouth to his once again. In a flash he had my bra unhooked and tossed to the side, and then his hands were on me. I arched into him as he thumbed over my nipples, moaning into his mouth as we continued to kiss.

My hands explored his upper body thoroughly before reaching for the button of his jeans. In no time at all, the rest of our clothes were discarded and I was on my back on the bed with Edward hovering over me.

His mouth moved down until he reached my left breast. He took it in his mouth and gave a light suck before circling the tip with his tongue while one hand massaged the other breast. My hips lifted off the bed, searching for friction, but Edward remained on his elbows and knees. I dug my fingernails into his shoulders and cried out when he bit down.

He hummed into my skin. "So responsive." He looked up at me with dark eyes. "We're gonna have a lot of fun together."

I let out a sound of need and frustration when he switched to the other breast, and he chuckled against me. My hips continued their subconscious movements while Edward toyed with me.

I reached between us and found his erection, grazing my hand over it and enjoying the weight and silkiness. It twitched in my hand when my thumb ran up the underside to the head, but Edward moved out of my reach.

He continued his descent and kissed all around my lower abdomen while holding my hips down. Just when I was ready to tell him to get on with it, he finally made contact with my clit. The warmth of his mouth surrounded me and another sound of pleasure left my mouth. His tongue went to work immediately. I was already so close to the edge that as soon as he added his fingers, I cried out and the euphoria took over.

By the time I returned to my senses, Edward was already rolling on a condom.

"You're fucking beautiful when you come," he murmured before dropping his body down on me, using his forearms to hold himself up.

His green eyes were locked on mine as he pushed inside, stretching and filling me in a way I hadn't been in quite some time. I moaned while my eyes rolled back into my head, and I grasped his shoulders for leverage.

Our hips immediately began moving against each other, slow and steady at first but building speed. He kissed me long and deep without ever faltering in his rhythm. Then he pulled back slightly and grabbed my thigh from around his waist, hoisting it over his elbow so it nearly touched my chest.

"Oh, God," I groaned while he repeatedly hit my g-spot. My nearly nonstop moans and grunts were joined by Edward's. "So close." I couldn't believe I was approaching another orgasm, having never come a second time so quickly before.

Edward's thrusts picked up speed and strength. "Come on, come for me," he urged, and then I did just that.

I bit my lip to keep from screaming out. Edward reached his peak right after me, thrusting a few times more before collapsing on top of me with a grunt.

"Fuck," he said into my neck. "Give me ten minutes and then we're doing that again."

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**A/N: Reviews make me happy! I love to hear what you think.**

**The Twilight Science-Fantasy Contest has extended the date for submissions to May 22****nd****. This is a great opportunity for any writers looking to branch out into a new genre. The first few entries have been posted, so check them out. Search for author Twiscififantasycontest on FFN.**

**See you on Thursday!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Special thanks to Cared Cullen and Capricorn75 for recommending Abandoned Heart on The Lemonade Stand's "What we are reading in TLS this week!" You can find this and much more at tehlemonadestand dot blogspot dot com.**

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**Chapter 5**

Nerves were nearly making me shake on Monday morning as I got ready for work. I wasn't sure what working with Edward would be like now that we had opened up Pandora's Sex Box. He had done as promised on Friday night, giving me two more orgasms in rapid succession before I retreated down the hall to my own apartment. I slept like a baby that night.

We didn't make any other definite plans for the weekend, but I made a vow to keep my distance, which only lasted through Saturday. I was back in his apartment Sunday afternoon for a repeat of Friday night, minus the alcohol. Not much time was spent on small talk, and that worked well for my plan of staying detached.

Now I'd have to go back to dealing with him in a professional capacity, and in close quarters, no less. I was glad we had meeting prep to handle in the morning, and then the actual meeting would take up the entire afternoon.

I didn't run into Edward when I left my apartment, so I had some additional time to clear my head on the way to work. That didn't last long though, because he was already seated in the conference room when I got there.

"Morning," I said as neutrally as possible when I entered the small room.

"Morning," his gruff voice responded. He glanced at me and then lowered his eyes to his laptop. After clearing his throat he got right down to business. "I'm finishing up my agenda but thought you could do an introduction at the beginning of the meeting."

"Sure, no problem." I took my seat and pulled out my laptop, following his lead and picking up where we left off on Friday. Once the computer was plugged in and started up, I scrolled through my emails for meeting responses. "It looks like everyone will be there. Mike Newton was the only person with a conflict, and he must have rescheduled that because he accepted the meeting request."

"Great," he said. "I'm glad everyone is making themselves available. I know I'm not usually the most popular person when I start up a new assignment."

The morning flew by while we finished our prep for the meeting. I was more prepared when Edward asked if I wanted to join him for lunch in the cafeteria. "Actually," I told him, "I was planning to work through lunch at my desk. I have a lot to catch up on."

"Okay, I'm gonna go grab something then. I'll see you in the meeting room at one."

I tried to keep my expression neutral when he didn't act disappointed. I had hoped he would get the hint easily, so there was no excuse for my frustration at his aloofness.

I didn't really have any pressing matters that needed to be handled, so I took my time moving my laptop back to my desk and then getting a sandwich from the cafeteria. Edward must have also taken his food to go because he wasn't eating in the cafeteria while I was in there.

I flopped down in my chair and put my food on the desk before I pulled out my cell phone, figuring I had a little time to catch up on some of my favorite fanfiction stories while I ate. I took a bite of my sandwich and a scoop of potato salad and then clicked into my email to find the latest update notifications. Several stories had updated that morning, so I picked one that wouldn't be too steamy. The last thing I needed was to get all hot and bothered before I spent the afternoon in a meeting with Edward and several of my coworkers.

Just as I tapped on the link to the new chapter of one of my favorite stories, my phone buzzed with an incoming text. I nearly jumped out of my skin and dropped the phone. The notification showed the text was from Edward, so I opened it.

"_Yesterday was fabulous. Looking forward to more of that tongue of yours. – E"_

Shit. He was so professional all morning, and he knew I didn't want to bring this into the office.

"_I believe this is against the rules, Mr. Masen. – B"_ I hoped he would read that with sarcasm. I didn't want to piss him off. Thankfully he responded before I could get too worked up over it.

"_I'm on my lunch break, and I can't stop thinking about it. – E"_

I groaned out loud. I couldn't argue with the fact that we technically weren't on the clock, and fuck if he wasn't making me think about it too. Regardless, I needed to put a stop to it for now.

"_It's been on my mind also, but some of us have work to do. – B"_ I ended with a winky face, hoping to keep the atmosphere light.

"_You work, I'll text."_

The barrage of dirty texts I got after that was testament to the fact that he wasn't going to let this go so easily.

"_Thinking about your tongue makes me want to do things with my tongue."_

"_I can still taste you and it's heavenly."_

"_My hands feel empty without your perfect tits to fill them."_

I groaned out loud again, thankful that Esme's door was closed and Shelly wasn't in the office. I ended up shutting my phone down because there was no way I could read while those texts kept popping up, and I really didn't want to be horny for a four hour meeting.

I scarfed down my lunch and decided to head to the conference room early to make sure it had been set up properly. It was, so I only had to move around a few chairs and find the white board markers in the supply cabinet. Edward walked in just as I was setting the markers on the ledge of the white board.

"Hey," he said nonchalantly, setting his laptop down on the desk near the front.

I took a deep breath to try to calm my racing heart, not understanding how he could switch gears so easily and stay unaffected.

"I think everything's ready, so I'm just gonna grab some coffee before we start. Do you want anything?"

"I'll come with you," he offered. "I could use another hit of caffeine to get through the afternoon."

We walked down, made our coffee and walked back in silence. When we reentered the conference room, Alice was already sitting along the far side of the u-shaped desks. She smiled at me, and I watched her eyes widen as Edward stepped in behind me.

"Hey, Alice," I greeted.

Edward walked past me and sat down in front of his laptop.

"Hey, Bella. Thanks for picking me for the team. This is going to be so much fun," Alice responded.

I chuckled and shook my head. Alice would be the only person to enjoy something like this. I stood next to her to chat while we waited for everyone else to filter in. "Holy shit," she whispered. "Please tell me you're tapping that."

"Alice," I hissed with wide eyes.

A few more people had wandered in and were talking so I wasn't afraid of Edward overhearing from the other side of the room, but I didn't want to say anything with everyone around either.

"What?" she asked innocently. "I totally would if I didn't have Jasper." I bit my lip and looked down. "Oh my God, you are! Is he any good?"

I nodded once.

"You're telling me everything later, chickie," she whispered with a wink.

"I better go get ready," I mumbled. I turned quickly and walked over to Edward, taking my seat next to him without a word. I put my coffee down and pulled my notepad out, ready to take notes like Edward and I had agreed.

"I think everyone's here," he said a few moments later. "But you would know better."

I looked around the room where everyone had taken a seat. They were all talking quietly to each other, and everyone was accounted for. "Yep, that's everyone."

I put my pen down and stood, moving to the front of the room.

"Hi, everyone. Thanks for coming on such short notice. You all know how important this project is to the profitable production of our office, so I won't waste your time going over all the reasons you're here.

"You've been chosen as the representative for your department, so each of you will be responsible for providing us with information on the way things currently run as well as suggestions for improvement. Eventually we'll also be counting on you to pioneer new methods and programs.

"I'd like to introduce our efficiency expert, Edward Masen of Volturi Consultants," I said, waving a hand toward where he was standing at the end of the tables. "Edward will be the head of this project, but I will always be around for any questions or concerns. With that, I'm going to turn the meeting over to Edward so we can get started."

Edward nodded at me and murmured, "Thanks, Bella," touching my arm as he passed me to take the center of the room. I held back the shiver that his touch always elicited and took my seat at the end of the table.

"Welcome, and thanks again for joining us on short notice. I appreciate the time that each of you will be dedicating to this project, and I promise to make it as painless as possible."

I scanned the faces in the room as Edward spoke, not at all surprised to see Jessica batting her eyelashes at him. An irrational shot of anger pulsed through me, but I pushed it down and looked back to Edward, who appeared to not have even noticed her.

"I'll start by giving you a little background on myself, and then I'd like to go around the room and have each of you introduce yourselves and tell me a little about what you do for the company. I'm sure you all know each other, but this will help me get to know you also.

"I'm Edward, and I'm a Senior Analyst for Volturi Consultants, where I've worked for the last five years. My specialty is finding efficiencies, but I've worked on several company mergers as well. I've been placed with many different types of companies—everything from restaurants to paper manufacturers to utilities. You'd be surprised by how many similarities there are across those disciplines."

He took a step back and leaned against the white board, motioning to me to get the ball rolling on introductions.

"I'm Bella Swan, and I've been in Human Resources with Worldwide Insurance for four years. I'm a trainer, so I handle new employee training, ongoing learning and keeping all of our manuals up to date."

Edward nodded and shifted his focus to Garrett, who was sitting next to me.

"Garrett Sullivan," he started in his Irish accent. "I'm the IT resource for the Philadelphia office. I don't have a team here, so it's just me. I report in to headquarters in Hartford. I've been with the company for six years."

"Thanks, Garrett," Edward said before nodding to the next person.

"Hi, I'm Rosalie Hale. I'm a casualty underwriter, and I've been with the company for two years. Prior to that I was with a competitor for several years. I handle most of the east coast, mainly out of the office but I do travel a fair amount."

"Can you tell me specifically what lines you handle within casualty, Rosalie?" Edward asked.

"Sure," she said, giving him a polite smile as she flicked her long blonde hair over her shoulder. "Casualty encompasses Auto, General Liability, Workers' Compensation and Umbrella. All of the casualty underwriters handle all of the lines, but we each have areas that we're better at than others. We don't do a lot of Workers' Comp though."

Edward wrote a few things on the white board as she spoke. He turned around and smiled at her. "Thanks. That's very helpful. Bella gave me a rundown of the company structure, but sometimes hearing things from the people who deal with it every day gives me more insight."

Rosalie nodded, and Edward shifted his attention down the line.

"Emmett McCarty," the booming voice said. "I'm a property underwriter and I've been with the company for four years. There are only two of us, and we only handle accounts that also have casualty insurance with us. We don't sell Property as a standalone line." He paused and glanced at Rosalie. "Of course, our profits still beat Casualty."

"Shut up, you big oaf," Rosalie said, slapping him on his large bicep.

Edward chuckled and shook his head. "Thanks, Emmett."

"Hi, I'm Linda Sharp," the next person started. Linda was a sweet woman in her fifties. "I'm the manager of the processing group. I've been with the company for more years than I care to mention." We all chuckled. "We handle all policy issuance and form creation, and we work with Operations to make sure the forms look the way they should when they are produced by our internal systems."

Edward jotted a few more things on the board and turned to listen again. I watched his casual but professional stance, taking in the lean but muscular legs that were crossed at the ankle as his body pressed back against the board. He held the marker in his long fingers and flipped it end over end as he listened to Jessica speak. I bit my lip and shifted my focus back to the room in general so I wouldn't think about what those fingers felt like on my body or how his powerful legs held me down.

"Jessica Stanley," she announced with a smile and a wink. "I'm an administrative assistant, and I've been with Worldwide for six years. I'm not really sure why I'm here though, since I don't exactly represent any particular department. Did you want me to take notes on the meeting or something?"

Edward smiled politely at her. "Thank you, Jessica, but no. You are here to be the representative for the administrative team." She sat up a little straighter at his words. "It may not be a formal department within the company, but I've found that many efficiencies can be gained by simple changes within the administrative staff. For example, starting an email group where you send each other tips as you learn them."

"Oh, that's a good idea!" She jotted something down on her notepad.

"We'll meet and discuss it in more detail, but when we brainstorm as a group, I'm sure there will be things you can contribute."

With a nod of Edward's head, Mike Newton introduced himself. "I'm Mike Newton and I'm the manager for Operations. We handle all of the internal systems, like claims and policy production, whether it's making changes in-house or dealing with outside vendors. Oh, and I've been here for eight years."

"Thanks," Edward said, turning to the last person.

"Hi, everyone! I'm Alice Brandon. I'm an underwriting assistant and I've been with Worldwide for four years. Bella and I actually started on the same day." She smiled across the room at me. "The underwriting assistants basically work with two to three underwriters and do whatever we can to help out on their accounts—data entry, pulling claim history, sending follow up emails, that kind of stuff."

"Thank you, Alice," Edward said as he capped a marker and turned back around to the group. "Okay, that was all very helpful. What I'd like to do now is have a little brainstorming session. I'm sure there are things you all groan about every day in your jobs, things you'd like to do differently. For now, it doesn't have to be about gaining efficiencies. I just want to hear anything you think could use some change."

He looked around the room until Alice spoke up. "I've got something. It's a common complaint in my group."

"Go ahead. You guys can just call these out, and if I have any questions I'll stop you to ask them."

"Okay," she said. "Having to go through the IT Help Desk for every computer related problem when we know we're going to need Garrett in the end anyway. It would just be faster to go right to him."

There were several grumbles of agreement on that, but Garrett spoke up. "Believe me, I wish I could just come help you guys. It would make my life easier, but every little thing has to be tracked these days."

"Thanks, Garrett and Alice. We're actually just going to list the issues for now, and we'll come back to possible solutions at another time. You'd be surprised how many times I've heard this complaint," Edward offered. "Almost every large corporation utilizes a Help Desk these days, and most employees insist that they're actually a 'Help_less_ Desk.'"

That earned chuckles around the room. More people started offering up issues within their department, and I watched in amazement as Edward commanded the room. He asked questions when appropriate and dug deeper into some areas while keeping the ideas flowing from the team. I took notes on everything and even recreated the chart he ended up drawing on the board.

By the end of the afternoon, I wasn't sure who I liked better—Professional Edward or Sex God Edward. Both were pretty damn enticing.

* * *

**A/N: Thank you for reading and reviewing! I'll post a teaser on Facebook over the next few days for Monday's chapter. Just a reminder that I need to be able to see from your public profile that you are 18 or older in order to accept your friend request.**

**Don't forget the deadline for submissions for the Twilight Science-Fantasy contest has been extended until May 22****nd****! We'd love to have some first time writers, so if you've always wanted to give it a try, this is a great chance. The first few stories have posted to the contest profile on FFN.**

**See you on Monday!**


	6. Chapter 6

**There may have been some FFN issues with alerts on Thursday, so please make sure you've read chapter 5.**

**Chapter 6**

Edward started wrapping up the meeting around ten minutes to five. We had taken a fifteen minute break at three o'clock, but everyone was antsy and ready to go.

"So, we'll probably have a few more group sessions, but you'll all also be getting individual meeting requests from me so we can talk about things one on one or in smaller groups." I watched Jessica light up at his words. "I'll probably have Bella with me for most of those sessions though." He nodded in my direction and Jessica deflated, causing me to snicker under my breath.

"This is not a requirement," he continued, "but I was planning to check out Whitlock's for happy hour. You're all welcome to join me for a little out of the office team building."

Alice's eyes lasered in on mine from across the room. There was no way I was going to get out of going. The rest of the group eagerly agreed, so everyone began packing up their belongings. We decided to meet there within the hour, and people filtered out of the room.

"You'll come, right?" Edward asked quietly as he stood next to me and closed up his laptop.

"You didn't leave me much choice when you suggested Whitlock's," I responded lightly. "Here comes the reason now."

Alice bounced her way across the room and stood across the desk from Edward and me. "You're going to love Whit's," she said to Edward. "Bella and I go there all the time. Oh, and I can introduce you to my boyfriend. I'm sure you could use a male friend or two while you're in town."

"That's great, Alice. Thanks."

"Are you two ready to go?" she asked. "We can walk over together."

"Actually, I'm going to stop in my office and drop off my stuff, so you guys go ahead and I'll meet you there."

"Would you mind if I left my laptop there?" Edward asked. "I'd rather not take it to the bar, and my conference room doesn't lock."

"Yeah, sure," I relented, realizing he wasn't going to give me an out.

The three of us went back to my office. Edward left his briefcase under my desk and I gathered my personal belongings. I pulled my cell phone out as we started back toward the elevator and realized I hadn't turned it back on after Edward's lunchtime texts.

We piled into the crowded elevator, Alice jabbering on about something to Edward while I kept my eyes focused on my phone as it restarted. Text after text popped up, causing my cheeks to heat in embarrassment and my eyes to widen.

"_You look so fucking hot today."_

"_My sheets still smell like you."_

"_I want to bury my fingers inside of you and make you scream my name."_

"You okay there, Bella?" Alice asked.

I looked up and realized everyone else had stepped out of the elevator, and Edward and Alice were waiting for me. "Um, yeah. Sorry, just reading something." I joined them in the lobby just before the door started closing and started walking toward the exit, seeing Edward's lips curl up out of the corner of my eye.

I skipped the rest of his messages for now—_Jesus_, how many did he send?—and groaned when I saw a missed call and voicemail message from my mother.

"You all right?" Edward asked quietly, falling into step next to me.

I shoved my phone into my pocket and shook my head. "Yeah … just my mother." I didn't need to deal with her shit right now.

"Don't even listen to her message now," Alice piped in. She was the only one who knew about my mother and the reason I didn't date or get attached in any way. "We're gonna go see Jasper and have a good time."

She wedged her way between Edward and me, linking an arm through each of ours and leading us down the street.

Whitlock's was nearly empty when we arrived since it was still early. Jasper greeted us boisterously from his spot behind the bar.

"My two favorite ladies! Now this is a nice surprise." He dumped the bucket of ice in his hands into a bin and dropped the bucket.

Alice skipped over to the bar. Hoisting herself up on the bottom rung, she put her elbows and forearms on the dark mahogany and leaned forward. Jasper met her halfway for a quick kiss.

"Hey, Jas," I said, standing next to Alice.

He leaned toward me, so I offered my lips for our usual greeting peck. "You're lookin' fine, Bells."

I mumbled my thanks and turned toward Edward, surprised to see him standing stiffly with an odd look on his face.

"Baby, I want you to meet Edward," Alice said. "He's leading that team I was telling you about the other day. We had our first meeting today, and Edward thought we should come here for happy hour as a group. Edward, this is my boyfriend Jasper."

Edward gave a tight nod and then reached between Alice and me to shake Jasper's hand. "Nice to meet you," he said coolly.

"You too. Good luck trying to accomplish anything with these two on your team," Jasper teased.

"We're not that bad at work," I said, reaching over to slap his arm. I turned to Edward. "You good with lager? We can just get a few pitchers for everyone."

"Sure."

Jasper put some glasses on the bar and filled two pitchers. I grabbed the pitchers as soon as he put them down. "I'm gonna snag a few tables before it gets crowded," I mumbled.

"I'll be over in a bit," Alice called out as I walked away.

Edward followed me with several glasses in his hands. I started pulling tables together and Edward helped once he set the glasses down.

"What was that about?" I asked just loud enough for him to hear.

"What?" he responded innocently.

I rolled my eyes. "It's just Jasper. Trust me when I say he only has eyes for Alice. He's just a natural flirt."

Edward pulled a few extra chairs up to the table and shrugged, moving closer and speaking lowly. "Sorry. It's hard to watch someone else kiss you when all I want to do is drag you into a dark corner and fuck you senseless."

I clenched my fists and dug my fingernails into my palms to keep myself from attacking him. "You can't say shit like that here," I said through gritted teeth.

"Why not?" He pulled a chair out and motioned for me to sit. When I did, he took the seat next to me and poured each of us a beer. "We're off the clock."

"Yes, but we're about to be surrounded by my coworkers," I pointed out.

As if on cue, the door opened and Rosalie, Jessica and Mike walked in.

"Fine," Edward said. "But you're all mine later."

I didn't have a chance to respond before the trio reached our table, not that I would have denied him. I could live with "later."

Emmett and Garrett arrived, informing us that Linda had to bow out to go pick up her granddaughter. Alice joined us at the table, and our little party was complete.

Jessica had taken the seat on Edward's other side and immediately began peppering him with questions, drawing his attention away from me. Mike sat beside me and tried to engage me in conversation a few times, but I was mostly interested in sipping my beer and watching Emmett and Rosalie from across the table because they were always amusing. Mike was a nice guy and good looking enough, but definitely not my type. He was too sweet, and there was no mistaking that he was a relationship kind of guy. Even if I didn't work with him, I would never sleep with him.

"Oh, Rose, you wound me!" Emmett said with faux dramatics, clutching his hands over his heart at some snide remark I had missed.

"I'm gonna do more than just wound your ego if you don't cut the shit," she retorted.

I had no idea what they were going on about this time. Edward chuckled and leaned in to me. "Are they always like this?" he asked just loud enough so I could hear over the noise of the bar that had filled up in the last hour.

I finished my sip of beer and put the glass down. "Pretty much," I admitted with a shrug.

"You think they're fucking?" he questioned, moving even closer to my ear.

I laughed out loud and turned to face him. "I have no idea. But honestly, I doubt it would make any difference in the way they treat each other if they were."

Alice appeared behind me at that moment. "Bella, you need to come to the bathroom with me." She didn't wait for a response, grabbing my hand and pulling me from my seat.

I followed along behind her, nearly tripping over my own feet as she moved too fast for someone with legs as short as hers. "What the hell, Alice?" I said as soon as the bathroom door closed behind me. I rubbed my wrist where her grasp had been surprisingly tight.

"Sorry, sorry," she offered, her palms out. "But I've been dying to find out what's going on with you and Edward for the last five hours! The way he looks at you, girl, I'm surprised you haven't jumped him at the table. You're not actually dating him, are you?"

"What? No! Of course not." I stepped over to the mirror, figuring I may as well check my appearance while we were here.

"So what's going on?"

I combed my fingers through the ends of my hair. "We're just fucking," I said, shrugging.

"Well, how did that happen? I need the details!" She hopped up on the counter and made herself comfortable.

I sighed and figured I may as well get it over with. Alice had a way of getting things out of me whether I wanted to share them or not, which was how she came to know all about my abandonment issues within the first week we met.

I leaned my hip onto the counter and faced my personal firing squad. "He invited me for drinks after work on Friday night, and I knew he didn't know anyone else in the area but didn't want him to get the wrong idea, so I told him that I don't date."

She nodded eagerly for me to continue.

"Then he told me he didn't date either, and he really was just trying to get me drunk and into his bed."

Her eyes went wide. "He did not!"

I smirked. "Those were pretty much his exact words."

"Damn."

"Exactly. Anyway, I thought about it for like two seconds and decided that a fuck buddy arrangement for the next six months with that hot piece of ass couldn't be turned down." I turned back to the mirror and ran my fingers under my eyes, wiping off some of my smudged eyeliner.

"And he agreed?"

I nodded. "I even gave him some stipulations, and he was perfectly open to it."

"So"—she nudged my shoulder—"how was it?"

I schooled my expression and looked her in the eye. "How do you think it was?" I deadpanned.

"Oh my God."

"That's pretty much what I was saying all night Friday."

She laughed boisterously. "Have you been with him again?"

"Yeah, Sunday afternoon. And he already made it clear that we'll be seeing each other later tonight."

"_Niiiiice_." I snickered at the way she dragged the word out. "Well, I'm glad he at least seems like a nice guy, and I'm happy that you won't be out on the prowl for the next six months. You know I hate when you go home with randoms."

I shrugged. "I know. I'm always careful though."

"Still … you know Jas and I worry about you."

"Well now you don't have to. At least until he's gone. His one stipulation was that we're only available to each other for as long as this is going on."

"Good. Now, let's get back out there so we can finish up the work portion of the evening and you can go get some."

When we got back to the table I reclaimed my seat next to Edward. He was engrossed in a conversation with Garrett about music, but he slipped his hand from his lap to my knee without a break in dialogue.

Rose started to stand up. "It's been fun, guys, but I need to get home." She threw some cash on the table.

"I'll walk you, Rosie," Emmett said, jumping to her side and tossing a few bills out.

I could see her teeth grinding together. "I am perfectly capable of getting myself home, Emmett," she said, nearly spitting his name.

"Never said you weren't." He shrugged and turned the full force of his dimples on her, flashing a bright smile that no one was immune to.

"Ugh, fine." She threw her hands in the air and started walking away while everyone at the table laughed.

"Actually, I should be going too," Garrett said after looking at his watch. "The wife'll be pissed if I don't relieve her from mommy duty soon."

"Say hi to Kate for me, Garrett," I called out. "And give Irina a kiss from me." I could never resist his three-year-old daughter. He made sure to bring her by every time she was in the office, and she'd insist on sitting on my lap and hanging out with me. I soaked it all up, knowing I'd never have that.

"Will do, sweets. See you all tomorrow." He added his money to the center of the table and waved.

Everyone else started to get up to go, but Edward's grip on my knee only tightened. "Wait until they all leave," he said in a low voice.

I gathered the money from the table and added my own to it, having no idea how much our tab really was. "I'll take care of it," Edward said, taking the money from my hands and getting up to go to the bar.

Alice slipped into the chair next to me. "I'm gonna leave the two of you alone and go hang with Jas for a bit."

"You sure you don't want me to walk home with you?" I offered. I was looking forward to being alone with Edward, but if Alice was ready to leave I could meet up with him later.

"Nope. Ben's coming in at eight so Jasper can leave then. I'll just wait for him."

I nodded my understanding just as Edward returned to the table.

"Have a good night, Edward," Alice trilled as she moved over to the bar.

He sat down and turned to face me with his hand on the back of my chair. "I'm gonna guess she knows what's going on."

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, sorry about that. She has some kind of sixth sense when it comes to these things. I swear she knew the second you walked into the conference room today."

He gave a one shoulder shrug. "I don't mind. That just means I can do this now." He cupped my cheeks in both hands and leaned in, kissing me fully and hungrily.

I wanted to be pissed because this was not what we had agreed to, but I couldn't control the way I reacted to him. I kissed him back with just as much hunger, sucking on his lower lip and giving it a little nip, letting our tongues drag together only long enough to tease.

"Fuck," he said, giving me one last peck. "I've wanted to do that all damn day. Let's get out of here."

"Sounds good to me." I grabbed my purse and stood, waving to Alice who was staring at us like a cartoon character with her mouth hanging open and her eyes nearly popping out of her head.

"Hot," she finally mouthed to me.

_Don't I know it_.

* * *

**A/N: Thank you once again for all of your reviews, favorites and alerts. I read and cherish every single review.**

**I'll post a teaser for the next chapter on Facebook over the next few days.**

**There are still a few days left to enter the Twilight Science-Fantasy contest! Submissions close on May 22****nd****.**

**See you on Thursday!**


	7. Chapter 7

**NSFW … just sayin'**

**Chapter 7**

"So, what was the deal with your mom calling earlier?" Edward asked as we walked in the cooling night toward our apartment building. He veered playfully into my shoulder, keeping his eyes straight ahead.

I shrugged. "I don't talk to her very often."

He glanced at me with a perplexed look. "Why not?"

I let out a sigh. "It's not usually a pleasant experience."

"Sorry," he responded quietly. "I just can't imagine not answering my mother's calls. She's all I have left."

My hands formed into fists at my sides and I gritted my teeth. I wanted to be sympathetic to his comment, but my anger always took over when it came to my mother. "Well, I'm guessing your mother didn't ruin your life." I sped up my steps, not wanting to take that anger out on Edward but knowing that was exactly what would happen if this conversation continued.

He caught up with me and put a hand on my arm to slow me down. "Bella, I'm sorry."

I kept walking, grabbing the door of our building and throwing it open before stomping over to the elevator.

Edward's arms snaked around me from behind. "I was just trying to make conversation," he said in my ear. "I didn't realize it was such a touchy subject."

The elevator doors opened and we both stepped inside. "It's fine," I relented, letting his hands on my waist relax me slightly as I faced him. "But it's not open for discussion."

"Noted," he said with a nod. "Now, are we going back to my place or yours?" He didn't give me time to answer before kissing me again and pushing me up against the wall.

My hands grabbed his hair, and he ground his hips into mine. I couldn't believe how quickly he could turn me on with just one touch or kiss. When the elevator doors opened on our floor, he pulled me out by my belt loops without breaking our kiss. My head was in such a fog I didn't even realize where we were.

"Keys," he mumbled against my lips.

I reached into my purse and pulled them out when it struck me where we were. I was about to suggest we go to his place, but I realized it was too quiet. I broke away from Edward and turned to the door. "Something's wrong," I muttered, frantically trying to get the key into the door.

"What?"

"Sandy," I said at the same time I pushed the door open.

I stepped inside and found her sitting by the door in her usual spot, but instead of her usual loud mewling she was purring—loudly. I cocked my head and looked at her before reaching down to pick her up. She darted away from me, once again tangling herself up in Edward's legs.

He picked her up and closed the door. "You missed me, didn't you?" he cooed, cuddling the traitorous furball to his chest.

My eyes narrowed as I watched him with my cat. "Why don't we go to your place, and then she won't bother us," I said, reaching to take her out of his hands.

"No way," he responded, turning slightly away from me and petting the little beast. "She doesn't bother me."

I had to admit he looked adorable with the tiny cat cuddled to his chest, but I bit my lip as the nerves set in.

"You wanna order something for dinner?" he asked. "Then Sandy and I can get to know each other better."

I shook my head and shifted from foot to foot, fisting my fingers around my keychain.

"Bella? What's wrong?"

"Nothing," I snapped. "I just think we should go to your apartment."

He put Sandy down and took two steps, stopping right in front of me. With one hand on my shoulder, he used the other to lift my chin, leaving me no choice but to look him in the eyes. "Why don't you want me here?" he asked in a near whisper.

I squeezed my eyes closed and then opened them to look back at him. "I just don't usually have anyone in my space," I admitted uncomfortably.

"Well, I'm already here," he murmured, his hands sliding to the sides of my face. He kissed my lips once before his mouth moved along my jaw, trailing wet kisses to just below my ear. "And I'd really like to fuck you in your bed"—he sucked on my earlobe—"and on your couch"—his tongue trailed along the shell of my ear—"and in your shower."

I sucked in a gasping breath as my hands grabbed for his waist, pulling our bodies flush against each other. Our mouths crashed together and we kissed frantically, hands yanking at clothing and scratching at skin. My mind went blank and I gave myself over to the feelings he stirred inside of me, letting him lead me to the couch with our clothes trailing behind.

He kicked off his pants and boxers before sitting down, and then he helped me steady myself to remove the rest of mine. Grasping my waist, he pulled me down on his lap. "I want you to ride me," he told me in a near growl as he thrust his hips up to meet my wet center. He slipped easily through the slick folds, and I gasped as the head of his dick teased my clit.

"Condom," I said breathlessly.

Edward leaned over and pulled his wallet out of his pants, finding a condom and tossing the wallet to the floor. He handed it to me, and I got to work rolling it on him, enjoying his hiss of pleasure as my hand smoothed it down.

I didn't waste a second sinking down onto him. We both groaned, and Edward's arms wrapped around me until our bare bodies were touching in every place possible.

"Fuck, you feel good," he muttered into the space between my neck and shoulder, punctuating his statement with a kiss.

I grunted in response as my body began moving on its own, seeking the pleasure I knew our connection would provide. Edward continued to hold me tightly but met my thrusts from below. We fell into an easy rhythm that had me clawing at his shoulders in no time. I moaned as the coil tightened inside my body and our pace increased.

"You gonna come for me, Bella?" He moved one of his hands between us and rubbed tight circles over my clit. "Come on, let me feel it."

Within seconds my orgasm took over. I barely registered Edward's grip shifting to my hips as he lifted and dropped my nearly limp body until he came with a groan. I collapsed with my arms around his neck, and he locked his around my back again, our sweaty chests pressed tightly together.

We sat like that for several minutes catching our breath until my stomach rumbled. Edward chuckled against me.

"Dinner," he said, pulling back to look at me. "And then we're moving to your bed."

I hated the idea of eating with him in my apartment. It felt too personal, too much like something you'd do with a boyfriend, but I couldn't deny the idea of round two in my bed was appealing.

"Pizza?" I asked as I stood up. I quickly gathered my clothes.

"That's fine."

"I'll be right back." I scurried off to my room to get dressed in more comfortable clothes, returning in a T-shirt and yoga pants with my cell phone in my hand from the pocket of my pants. "What do you like on it?" I asked, noting Edward had put his khaki pants back on but left his shirt sitting over the arm of the couch. I tried to ignore how comfortable he looked on my couch with Sandy on his lap.

"I can eat anything," he responded. When I looked up at him, I was pretty sure he wasn't only talking about food.

I nodded and turned around, dialing my favorite pizza shop in the area. I placed an order for a large pepperoni pizza. "You want a beer?" I asked over my shoulder as I headed into the kitchen.

"Sure."

I came back with two beers and handed one to Edward, who was busy petting Sandy. "She hates everyone," I commented, trying to keep my eyes from lingering on his bare chest. "You should see how she is with Alice."

He shrugged one shoulder and took a sip of his beer. "I guess she likes me."

I picked up the remote control and turned on the TV, flipping through channels until I found an episode of _The Big Bang Theory_. I sat back and sipped at my beer.

Edward and I both laughed at Sheldon as he insulted Penny's intelligence yet again. "I love this show," Edward commented. I hadn't even considered whether it would appeal to him when I chose it.

"So do I. It kills me how Sheldon is so smart yet completely clueless. I had a friend in high school like that—plenty of book smarts but no street smarts."

"Yeah, I know what you mean. I know a couple of people who fit in that category too."

We chatted comfortably about nothing of importance until the pizza arrived about a half hour later. I grabbed plates and napkins, and then we both dug in, although Edward had to eat over Sandy because she refused to move from his lap.

"You want me to get rid of her?" I asked, dropping my half-eaten slice back onto my plate.

Edward finished chewing and shook his head. "Nah, she doesn't bother me. She's so small anyway. It's like she's not even there." He held his plate in one hand and scratched the side of her head with the other. She eagerly lifted it to give him better access to her chin.

"Yeah, she must have been the runt of her litter because she's four years old. This is fully grown," I remarked, nodding my head in her direction. "Last time she was at the vet, she _almost_ weighed five pounds."

He snickered. "Well, she's cute, and she seems to like me, so I don't mind. I like animals but never had one." He continued scratching wherever she moved her head, and she continued purring like a motor.

I was about to suggest we move to the bedroom when Edward's cell phone rang. He picked it up from the coffee table and stood up, causing Sandy to finally dislodge from his lap, and excused himself as he walked toward the kitchen. I had a fleeting thought that he had some secret girlfriend or wife back home, but that was quickly squashed when he answered the call.

"Hi, Mom."

I shouldn't have worried, because Edward said he didn't date either, although I had no idea what his reasons were. But the truth of the matter was that we really didn't know each other very well. And that was just the way I liked it.

I tried not to eavesdrop, but it's not like there was anywhere he could go where I wouldn't hear him.

"Yeah, I'm settling in just fine … uh huh … _Mom_, stop worrying about me. I promise I'm taking care of myself … Yeah. Oh, did you ask Mr. Webber to look at the sink yet?"

I focused my attention back on the TV until Edward finished his call and came back into the living room. He sat down heavily on the couch.

"Sorry about that," he said, tossing his phone back on the table.

I shrugged one shoulder. "No problem. It's probably better that she called now and not ten minutes from now." I turned to face him.

"Why is that?" he asked with a smirk.

"Because I was just about to drag you off to my bed."

I stood and offered my hand, which he took with no hesitation. He followed quickly behind me as I led the way to my room.

Just before I reached the bed in my dark room, he yanked my hand back and spun me around, crashing his mouth into mine with no preamble. The kiss was deep and hot, as if he was looking forward to this just as much as I was. My hands felt their way around his lightly defined chest, taking in every dip and plane and committing them to memory. When my fingernails scratched over his nipples, he growled into my mouth, lifted me up and tossed me onto the bed.

Within minutes we were a mess of tangled limbs and discarded clothes. "Condom?" Edward asked as he popped his mouth off of the breast he'd been sucking on.

I reached over to my nightstand and fumbled to open the drawer, slapping my hand around inside until I came up with a foil packet. Edward took it from me and ripped it open between his teeth before quickly rolling it down over his length. His hand gave a few slow strokes as his eyes burned a trail over my body and back to my face.

I gasped when he leaned over and flipped my body, pulling up on my waist until I was positioned in front of him. His hands roamed from my shoulders to my ass several times, leaving me groaning with want. He chuckled deeply behind me but ran his dick through my folds with enough pressure to turn my groans into moans.

Without warning, he slammed into me and I tossed my head back. The arch in my back pulled him even deeper inside of me.

"Fuck, Bella," he muttered.

His hands moved from my hips, sliding up my ribs until he was cupping my tits when he started moving, using my body for leverage. The pace was fast and deep from the beginning, and within minutes we were both panting hard.

Each inward thrust had me moaning louder than the last, and it only took a light circling of Edward's fingers on my clit for me to fly into the abyss with him coming right after me.

He collapsed over my back and pulled my legs out, laying us down while we were still connected.

"Jesus," I said into the comforter where my face was buried.

"Yeah," he agreed between gasping breaths.

We stayed like that for a few minutes until he softened and began to slip from inside me. With a kiss to the back of my shoulder, he got up and said something about being right back.

As soon as the bathroom door closed behind him, I rolled onto my back and grabbed the hair at the top of my head with both hands. This was the part I couldn't deal with—the reason I never had anyone in my apartment. I had no idea what to do. Did I get dressed and go into the living room like nothing happened and then ask him to leave? Did I stay in bed and pretend to sleep, hoping he'd get the point?

I didn't have long to worry about it. Edward emerged from the bathroom and went right for his underwear and pants, slipping them on quickly. He crawled up onto the bed next to me and kissed me. "I'll see you in the morning," he said quietly.

I listened for the sounds of him gathering his things in the other room and heard him talking quietly to Sandy but couldn't make out what he was saying over the noise from the TV. A minute later, the TV was turned off, the light filtering down the hallway went out and I heard the quiet click of the door closing behind him.

I pictured him walking down the hallway to his apartment, away from me, and a slight ache formed in my chest. I rubbed at the spot absentmindedly while I reminded myself of why I couldn't get attached. It didn't matter how gentlemanly he was or how he always seemed to know just when to push and when to back off. The truth of the matter was that he'd be abandoning me in a few months—just like everyone else had.

* * *

**A/N: Once again, thank you for taking the time to leave a review!**

**A couple of quick notes … Yes, there are still a lot of questions about Bella's past. They will be answered in time. Some of you were worried about Jessica overhearing Bella's conversation with Alice or seeing Edward and Bella kiss. Let me put those fears to rest. Everyone was still at the table when B & A went to the restroom. They would have seen Jessica come in. And she DID leave with the rest of the crowd:**

_Everyone else started to get up to go, but Edward's grip on my knee only tightened. "Wait until they all leave," he said in a low voice._

**Teaser will be on Facebook, as usual. See you on Monday!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Thank you to all the Veterans, and also to their spouses and families who support them.**

**Another one NSFW … you've been warned.**

**Chapter 8**

The rest of the week seemed like a comfortable repeat of the start of it for the most part. There were meetings during the day, dirty texts during lunch and fantastic sex most evenings. Edward didn't seem to mind that I never responded to his texts; he just kept sending them anyway.

Tuesday morning we worked out a plan for who we'd be meeting with for the rest of the week, kicking off with Emmett and Rosalie that afternoon. The meeting was lighthearted and fun, the way things usually were when they included Emmett, yet we seemed to accomplish a lot.

Before we left the office, Edward invited me for another evening in his apartment, to which I readily agreed. He was very attentive and giving in the orgasm department, and I once again slept like a baby.

On Wednesday we met with Jessica. She had clearly planned ahead for this meeting, wearing a shirt that was at least two sizes too small for her ample chest and a skirt that barely covered her ass. Thankfully we met in Edward's conference room since it was just the three of us, and her legs couldn't be seen with the table separating us. She did use every opportunity to push her chest out and try to catch his eye though.

Edward asked her for a rundown of how all things administrative worked. He maintained eye contact while she spoke, but if he wasn't looking at her face he was looking at his laptop screen.

"So, like, the receptionist just asks someone to cover her breaks," Jessica responded with a shrug after Edward asked yet another question. She picked up the charm on her necklace and slowly swung it back and forth along the chain while I dug my fingernails into my palms. Her incessant flirting was getting on my nerves. She acted as if I wasn't even in the room.

"There's no set schedule for that?" Edward questioned.

She shrugged again. "It's usually the same people who volunteer. I mean, no one really wants to do it, but sometimes it's nice to get away from your own desk, you know?"

"Bella," Edward said, turning to focus his attention on me. "We can get a calendar set up just for the administrative staff, right?"

"I don't see why not," I answered. "HR has one, and I think a few other departments do as well."

"Every department should have one," he mumbled, making a note on his laptop while I did the same.

We continued on for another hour before ending the meeting. Edward stood to shake Jessica's hand over the conference table, just as he had done with Emmett and Rosalie the day before, but Jessica decided to walk around to be closer to him.

I was busy writing down a few last things, but I heard every word she said to him clearly.

"So, we could go grab another drink tonight," she suggested with her hand still in Edward's. "Maybe just you and me this time."

"Thanks, but I can't," he said, releasing her hand.

"Maybe some other time."

I looked up just in time to see her wink at him before strutting out of the room with her hips swinging wildly. I rolled my eyes.

As soon as the door swung shut, Edward busted out laughing. I gaped at him while he tried to get himself under control.

"Does that usually work for her?" he asked incredulously.

I laughed along with him. "She seems to do okay for herself," I commented with a shrug of one shoulder. I wasn't very friendly with Jessica, but I'd heard enough rumors about her to know she wasn't lacking male attention. "You trying to tell me that doesn't do it for you?" I smirked at him.

"No, it definitely doesn't." He shook his head.

We worked side by side for another hour before calling it a night. When Edward didn't invite me over before we left the office, I tried not to be disappointed. He did tell Jessica he couldn't go out that night, but I thought he just didn't want to go out with _her_. Maybe he wanted me to invite him over or make the first move this time. That wasn't going to happen though.

I didn't sleep as well Wednesday night as I had the previous few nights. Edward-induced orgasms definitely made the difference.

Thursday we met with Mike in the morning and Linda in the afternoon, making the day pass quickly. I jumped at the chance to meet up with him later on when he suggested it before we left the office, and we had another nine o'clock rendezvous at his apartment. Four orgasms later, I collapsed in my bed for a solid night of sleep.

We spent Friday putting together a bunch of his ideas that spanned several departments. He'd be presenting them to Carlisle the following week, needing approval before anything could be put in motion. Smaller projects were listed and tabled, knowing some things didn't need to be approved or could be discussed after we started tackling the bigger issues.

"You coming over tonight?" Edward asked as we packed up our belongings.

I lifted and dropped one shoulder. "Sure, if you want."

He stopped what he was doing and looked at me. "I want," he murmured, sending shivers through my body.

My phone rang just as I reached his door that night. Edward opened it but motioned for me to go ahead and answer.

"Hey, Alice," I said after looking at the caller ID once I stepped into the apartment. I glanced at Edward and he was smiling at me.

"You coming to Whit's tonight?" she asked. I could hear noise in the background and assumed she was already there.

"Wasn't planning on it."

"Jasper's off tonight. You should come … and bring Edward."

I scrunched up my face. "I don't think so. We were just gonna—"

"I know what you were _gonna_ do, but you guys need to get out a bit," she pleaded. "Come on, it'll be fun."

I looked up at Edward, who I was sure could hear every word she said. He shrugged and nodded.

I sighed, giving up on my idea of spending the entirety of our second weekend in bed. "All right, fine. We'll be there in a little bit." I hung up before her screech could hurt my eardrum. "Guess you heard that," I said to Edward.

"Yeah … did you not want to go?"

"I guess I was just looking forward to what we had planned to do instead." I gave him a coy smile.

"Nothing says we can't do that later. I'll make it worth the wait." He stepped toward me and put his hands on my waist, leaning down to kiss me thoroughly before backing away.

"Ugh," I moaned. "Let's go before I don't let you out of this apartment."

He chuckled but led me out by my hand, not letting go until we were in the bar.

The evening turned out to be more fun than I expected. Jasper and Edward bonded over a love of baseball and discussions about their favorite teams now that Edward had relaxed about Jasper's flirtations ways. The alcohol flowed freely, and Edward seemed to become more handsy as the night wore on—not that I was complaining.

Small touches turned into a hand planted on my waist, a kiss to my neck or a nibble on my ear. By the time last call rang out, I was leaning on the edge of the barstool between Edward's legs. His arms were around me with his fingers slipped just underneath the edge of my shirt, rubbing light circles on my stomach and driving me into a near frenzy.

"I need food," Alice announced. "Let's hit Cherry Street."

We all agreed, so we walked the two blocks over to our favorite all night diner. There were a few other late night partiers there, but the restaurant offered an odd sense of privacy with its high-backed booths and staggered tables.

Edward fell into a booth and pulled me in next to him, a goofy smile on his face. "Hi," he said quietly as I returned his smile.

"Hi," I responded with a laugh. It didn't last long because Edward pulled me toward him by my shirt and kissed me, effectively ending any silliness and making me wish Alice and Jasper weren't sitting down across from us. They didn't seem bothered by the PDA, and we weren't interrupted until a bored looking waitress cleared her throat.

"What can I get for you guys?" she asked.

I broke away from Edward with one last peck to his lips and found my friends doing the same thing.

"I'll have a cheese omelet with home fries," I said. "And coffee, please."

"That sounds good. I'll have the same," Edward added.

The waitress left after Alice and Jasper placed their orders, returning quickly with a pot of coffee and pouring it into the four cups that were already on the table.

"She looks … happy," Edward commented when she left.

"Probably a new hire, not used to dealing with us drunken fools," Jasper said, earning chuckles around the table. "Most of the late night waitresses are used to us."

"Well, I hope the food's good. I love diner food, and I've been looking forward to trying this place since the first time I walked by it."

"It is," I assured Edward. I leaned closer to him and put a hand on his thigh. "But you're gonna have to eat fast, because you promised to fuck me when we get home."

Alice and Jasper's laughter made me realize I might have said that a little too loud, but Edward didn't seem to mind. "I always keep my promises," he said, moving my hand up to feel his erection through his jeans.

"Check, please!" I called out, and they all laughed loudly.

We did stay to eat our omelets, and Edward agreed that it was worth the wait, saying he'd definitely be back. The place was clean, the service was good and the food was great. I loved diner food, so this was one place I didn't mind going with him.

It was late by the time we got back to The Regency, but that didn't bother Edward as he dragged me down the hall to his apartment. His lips were on mine the second the door closed behind us, his keys falling to the floor as he pushed my back against the wall and boxed me in with his arms.

I dropped my wristlet as well, snaking my hands up Edward's chest and around to the back of his head. He groaned as I grabbed hold of his hair and pulled. It felt like his hands were everywhere at once—kneading my breasts, grabbing my ass, tilting my head to kiss me more fully and opening my jeans. In no time at all, he had pulled my shoes and socks off and removed my pants and underwear.

I finished removing the rest of my clothes while he kneeled on the floor in front of me, his hands constantly in motion gliding over my skin with reverence. "I believe I promised to make it worth the wait," he murmured, leaning in to trail open mouth kisses along my inner thighs. He lifted my right leg over his shoulder, providing him with better access, and hummed as his nose neared my center before swiping his tongue out to taste me.

"Fuck," I said, my head dropping back against the wall with a thud.

He continued with teasing touches of his tongue while his hands gripped my ass tightly. I grabbed onto his hair and pushed his head where I wanted it, resulting in my favorite deep chuckle. He began to lick, suck and nibble in earnest, sending me into orgasm rather quickly.

I watched through half-lidded eyes as he pulled his clothes off and sheathed himself in a condom. His eyes had fire in them as they roamed my body while one hand slowly stroked his cock. "So fucking gorgeous," he said, more to himself than to me. I never had self-esteem issues, but Edward made me feel that much more beautiful. "What do you want, Bella?" He took a small step closer.

"I want you," I said with as much authority as I could muster through panting breaths, my fingers nearly digging into the wall behind me at the hunger in his eyes.

"You want me to fuck you up against this wall?" he asked, planting his hand on the wall next to my head as he loomed over me.

"Yes," I hissed.

With a grip to the back of my thighs, he lifted me easily and pushed my upper body against the wall, trapping his erection between us. I groaned as he rubbed it against me, but with one quick move, he buried himself inside.

My hands held his shoulders tightly while my legs locked around him and he set a fast pace. "Oh, God," I moaned, feeling the tingling start quickly.

"So good," he muttered into my shoulder. He bit lightly on the skin of my neck as he continued to pound into me.

The rawness of my back scraping against the drywall was nothing compared to the pleasure of each stroke inside me. I had been with plenty of capable men since my last boyfriend five years ago, yet they all seemed to pale in comparison to what Edward could do to my body.

His relentless pace continued as my thighs began to shake with the effort of holding back the rapidly building orgasm.

"Let it go, Bella," he commanded knowingly, and my body could do nothing but obey. I came forcefully, with Edward not far behind.

He held me against the wall for another moment before collapsing onto the floor. I felt him slipping from my body as our breathing slowed down. His head pulled back and he studied my face for a moment. My heart rate sped up, thinking he was going to ask me to stay, and a small part of me wanted that. I was quick to lock up that feeling, but once again Edward seemed to know what I needed.

"Will you show me some sights tomorrow … or, today?" he asked with a chuckle.

I gave him a small smile. "Sure. What do you want to see?"

He rearranged our bodies into a more comfortable position, keeping me on his lap. "I don't know. What's a good place for someone who's never been to Philly?"

I thought for a moment, coming up with a few ideas. "It depends on what you like. I mean, there's plenty of historic stuff if you're into that, or there's fun, like the zoo or South Street."

His face lit up, giving him a boyish charm. "The zoo. Let's start there."

"Okay," I agreed. "I definitely need to get some sleep then."

We made plans to leave around noon, and then Edward disappeared into the bathroom to dispose of the condom. I quickly gathered my clothes and put everything back on, giving him one last kiss when he came back out before I left his apartment.

As I walked down the hall to my place, I thought about why I had wanted him to ask me to stay. Did I just need to be the one that was wanted and be able to turn someone down? Or did I actually want to stay with him?

No matter what, I couldn't allow myself that pleasure. It would hurt too much in the end, and there would definitely be an end. There always was.

* * *

**A/N: Thank you for all your kind words. I'm so glad so many of you are enjoying the story. There's plenty more to come. This week's teaser will be of the video kind.**

**See you Thursday!**


	9. Chapter 9

**A little NSFW at the end.**

**Chapter 9**

I woke up too early after a satisfying late night with Edward, but I was excited for our trip to the zoo. The Philadelphia Zoo was one of my favorite places to visit in the city as a child, and it was just as exciting to go as an adult.

After showering and getting dressed in clothes comfortable enough to spend the day walking around in, I stood in front of my closet and bit my lip, trying to face the daunting task ahead of me. The box labeled "Gap" stared back at me from the top shelf. It was a place I once considered home, but eight years had passed since I had stepped foot in the small town between Lancaster and Philadelphia. I had no plans to go back, however there was something I needed from that box.

It was heavier than I remembered as I pulled it off the shelf and lowered it to the floor. I quickly pulled the flaps apart and glanced inside, hoping I wouldn't dredge up too many memories. The picture frames on top were wrapped in cellophane, thankfully keeping the images hidden from my view. I pushed those around to dig to the next level, ignoring everything that wasn't a piece of string with a plastic elephant attached.

"Aha! There you are," I shouted in triumph as my hand closed around the small object, pulling it from its resting place in the corner of the box. Even though I hadn't used it in at least ten years, the string was still long enough to slip easily over my head, leaving the elephant dangling in my cleavage.

Satisfied with my find, I closed the box back up and kicked it, shoving it back into the closet to be dealt with at another time. With time to spare before Edward was due to arrive, I got comfortable on the couch to watch TV with Sandy curled on my lap.

Half an hour later I was screaming in pain as Sandy suddenly jumped off my lap and dug her back claws into my thighs. "What the hell?" I muttered, standing up to check out the damage she'd done through my jeans. "Your claws are getting a trim tonight, young lady."

I watched her pace in front of the door, purring loudly and rubbing up against it until a knock sounded. I rolled my eyes as I realized she somehow _knew_ that Edward was on the other side. I didn't even look through the peephole before opening the door and letting him in.

"Play with your girlfriend for a minute," I said in lieu of a greeting. At his confused look, I raised my eyebrows and glanced down to Sandy, who was rubbing up against his legs. "I just have to go see what kind of damage she did to my legs as she was fighting to get to you."

I walked toward the bathroom, seeing Edward pick Sandy up out of the corner of my eye.

Two of the angry red lines were deeper than the others, so I put a little Neosporin on those and left the other scratches alone. Within minutes, I was back in the living room where Edward was still cuddling the bitch.

"You ready?" I asked.

"Yeah, sure." He buried his face in Sandy's neck momentarily before putting her on the floor. "My _girlfriend_ and I"—he looked pointedly at Sandy—"just had a little chat, and she promised to be nicer to you."

I chuckled as I led him out and down to the parking garage.

"I'd take you on your first public transportation experience," I explained as we reached the car, "but honestly, it's easier to drive there."

"That's fine," he answered.

As soon as the locks disengaged with a press of the remote control, Edward reached down and opened my door, signaling for me to enter, and then closed it after I was seated. I was slightly stupefied as I watched him move around the front of the car to the passenger side. He got in without a word, so I started the car and pulled out.

"This is an interesting fashion choice," he said when we were almost to the zoo, leaning over to finger the elephant hanging around my neck.

"We'll need it today," I explained. He raised an eyebrow. "You'll see." I smiled to myself.

I paid the parking fee and pulled into a lot near the main entrance, thankful that someone must have left recently for a spot to be open so close. I got out of the car before Edward could come around to my side. Although I appreciated his gentlemanly gestures, they weren't necessary.

Didn't he know I was a sure thing?

With a small knapsack containing some water bottles and hand sanitizer thrown over my shoulder, we followed the flow of traffic up to the entrance. Edward reached the ticket window before I could.

"Two, please," he told the woman behind the counter.

I nudged him and tried to hand him some money, but he pushed my hand away. I rolled my eyes and huffed.

As we walked away, he wrapped an arm around my shoulder. "You paid for parking," he reminded me. "Besides, I asked for this outing, so it's only right that I pay."

"I can pay my own way, Edward," I protested sourly.

"Never said you couldn't," he said, squeezing my shoulder. "Don't worry, it's not a _date_."

Was this guy a mind reader? I shrugged off my discomfort as we entered the park. Edward took the map that was handed to him while I declined.

"You gonna try to look at my map?" he asked playfully, pulling the paper close to his chest.

"Don't need one," I retorted. "Not much has changed since the last time I was here." We walked forward in the direction everyone else was going. "There's one new exhibit I've been dying to see, but otherwise I know my way around here pretty well."

A sound caught our attention, and I started to laugh. "What was that?" Edward asked, stopping dead in his tracks.

"Come on, you gotta see this." I tugged on his shirt and pulled him in the direction of the Tortoise Trail.

The noise grew louder as we neared the exhibit, and there was quite a crowd gathered around the railing.

"Holy shit," Edward whispered, clearly not wanting to offend any of the children near us. "Are they …"

"Yep." I nodded. "I swear they're doing it every time I come here. They must be the horniest animals on the planet."

Edward laughed loudly, either at my statement or at the four hundred-pound turtles going at it in front of a crowd. "Oh my God," he wheezed between laughs. "That sound can't be real. Who knew turtles moaned?"

The sight of one turtle climbing on another from behind would have been funny enough, but Edward was right; the noise added another level to the absurdity of it all.

We eventually left the porn scene and continued down the trail. "What's next, boss?" Edward asked.

"I think Big Cat Falls is coming up next. That's the one I really want to see."

As if in response to my comment, a roar sounded from our right.

"Lions?" Edward's eyes went wide.

"They have all types of large cats," I explained. "Come on, here's the entrance."

We spotted a lion and lioness as soon as we walked in. They were both lying in a grassy area that was fenced in, with a soccer ball between them.

"Oh, over here," I said when I spotted what I'd been preparing for all morning. I led Edward over to a small box and pulled the string over my neck, lamenting the fact that when I was a kid I was at the perfect height to leave it on while using it.

"What's this?"

"The elephant key," I said, holding up my plastic treasure. The trunk of the elephant stuck straight out, forming a key. "They work every box in the zoo." I put the key in the box and turned it. A voice started speaking, telling us about the exhibit and the animals.

"That's pretty cool," Edward commented as we listened to the explanation. "Can I do it next time?" His giddy excitement was contagious, so I handed him the key with a bright smile. He proudly slipped the string over his head.

We watched for a minute as the lioness got up and started batting the ball around, letting it go and then pouncing on it again. The lion sat back and watched her play, looking bored with the interaction. Edward's arm draped over my shoulders again, and I subtly tried to move away.

"Let's go see what else is in here," I said as I started walking, but he caught my upper arm and spun me back around.

"Is there a problem with having my arm around you?" he asked quietly, bending at the knees to meet my eyes.

"No, I just thought you'd want to see more."

He nodded but pulled me closer with both hands on my shoulders. "We're not in the office," he said, lifting my chin gently. "We're not on a date." He leaned in and kissed me. "Is it really such a problem for me to touch you or kiss you?"

I shook my head, knowing I was fighting a losing battle anyway. Whenever he touched me, I always wanted more.

"Good. Then I'm going to put my arm around you or hold your hand or kiss you whenever I want to," he stated before tilting his head and capturing my lips in a toe-curling embrace. We continued to kiss until someone walking by bumped the bag off my shoulder. As soon as we separated, Edward grabbed my hand and pulled me along the trail through the exhibit as if nothing had just happened.

Big Cat Falls was by far the best exhibit at the zoo. I loved all types of cats, so it was amazing to see so many varieties. We saw Amur tigers, jaguars, and even found a snow leopard sunning itself on a caged-in catwalk above our heads. The heat of the midday sun on the metal cage must have made that the perfect perch for a cat of any size, and this one had its tail hanging down and swinging lazily in contentment.

Edward continued to hold my hand as we made our way from one end of the zoo to the other, stealing kisses in the Primate Reserve, in front of the polar bears and near the otter aquarium. I let myself relax and enjoy the time with him as if it were any other time we were together, although we had to remain fully clothed. I nearly protested when he went to purchase food, but one glare with a raised eyebrow from him shut me up and I went to find a picnic table instead.

"That was great," Edward said as we headed back to the car. "I think we saw just about everything, but I'd definitely go back. Now I can say I've been to America's First Zoo." His fingers fiddled with the silver elephant key he had insisted on purchasing before we left. His was on a normal key ring, so he attached it to his keys along with the leopard keychain he bought. He had already attached a matching leopard to my keys.

"Yeah, it's definitely been too many years since I've been there. I always think of it as a kids' activity, but it really is a great place to go."

When we got back to our building, Edward wasted no time in pulling me down the hall to his apartment.

"Come on," he said, continuing to pull me toward the bathroom. "I need to shower this zoo stink off of me."

"I don't have—"

"I'll give you something to put on to go back to your apartment later. Right now, I want you wet and naked."

Unwilling to argue with that, I followed him into the bathroom. He started the water while we both stripped off our clothes.

"Jesus," he said, his hand reaching for the red lines on my thighs. "Is this what Sandy did to you earlier?"

"Yup." I stepped into the shower before he could offer to take care of the scrapes. "You coming in?"

I felt him in front of me as I closed my eyes and tipped my head back under the hot water. His arms wrapped around me and he pushed me back half a step, his lips colliding with mine while the spray enveloped us both.

I hummed into his mouth as I let the water and his magic lips relax me. My hands gripped softly onto his waist as his dick twitched to life between us. He groaned as he pressed his body into me, moving his kisses down my neck and over my collarbone before taking a nipple into his mouth roughly.

"Ung," I moaned, moving my hands to his hair and holding him in place. His tongue swirled around before he sucked deliciously, his other hand pinching and pulling on the neglected nipple.

Edward hummed against me when he switched sides, taking a now water-warmed peak into his mouth, but he didn't stay long. He dropped down to his knees and began to plant open mouth kisses over the scratches on my thighs, dragging his tongue across the length of the worst ones.

His kisses moved up and in as my heart rate sped. With his hands on my hips, he turned my body and leaned me against the wall, lifting my leg and tossing it over his shoulder.

"Fuuuuh," was my only response when he dragged his tongue slowly over my slit. Without warning, his warm mouth closed over my clit and he sucked it in, leaving me shaking on one leg. Edward's hands grasped my ass, helping to hold me against the cold tiles of the wall.

He had me writhing against his face in no time at all, and my body shook with the force of my orgasm. I would never get tired of having his mouth on me, and I figured I could return the favor.

As soon as Edward stood up I switched our places, spinning him against the wall and dropping to my knees. I kissed along his hips and the top of his thighs, moving inward until I sucked on the sensitive skin next to the base of his cock. He hummed his appreciation as his hips moved slightly away from the wall.

With no preamble, I took him into my mouth, sucking down on him hard and going as deep as possible.

"Fuck, Bella," he moaned out. "I love your mouth on me."

I looked up at him as I slid him nearly out of my mouth, my tongue circling the tip, and found his eyes watching me hungrily. I gave him a wink as I dropped my mouth back down until he hit the back of my throat. It made me gag slightly, but not nearly enough to stop doing it considering Edward's reaction was a sexy little whimper as his head hit the wall.

I worked him over at a slow, teasing pace for several minutes with his moans spurring me on. When his hands cupped the back of my head, I increased the speed and suction. His breath was coming out in pants, and I loved that I could cause that kind of reaction from him. I followed the gentle pressure of his hands and allowed him to set the pace while my hand reached up to fondle his balls.

A deep moan sounded from his chest as his hips bucked slightly, and I could tell he was close. After two more passes, I pressed gently on the skin behind his sack as I took him in deep enough to hit the back of my throat again. Warm spurts shot down my throat as Edward let out a string of profanities.

"Jesus Christ, woman," he said when he came back to his senses. He lifted me to my feet and kissed me with no regard for the fact that I just had his dick and his spunk in my mouth. "We're gonna have a lot of fun over the next several months."

Right. He would be leaving, and I couldn't let myself forget that.

* * *

**A/N: It's been a few years since I've been to the zoo, so I don't know if the elephant key boxes are still there. Sadly, they no longer have actual elephants. The turtles are 100% accurate though. I don't think I've ever been there and NOT seen them going at it. If you missed the teaser on Facebook, it was a video of the giant turtles. You can find it here: www dot youtube dot com/watch?v=4pyorz7iIwA**

**A quick note about the timeline … it has only been nine days since Edward and Bella met. There will be some time jumps coming up, but for now they really haven't known each other very long.**

**I love to hear your thoughts! I'll post another teaser soon.**

**If you're still reading this longass note, I will be participating as a "professor" in the 2014 Project Team Beta Smut University alongside some of my favorite authors. If you want to learn how to write smut, want to improve your smut-writing skills, or just have questions, you can sign up for the course on the PTB website under Writers' Resources. I participated as a student last year, and it was a lot of fun and extremely informative. I would love to see you there!**

**See you on Monday.**


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

The week following our trip to the zoo was similar to the previous week, with meetings, project planning and dirty text messages every day during lunch. When Edward didn't invite me over on Tuesday night, I didn't let it concern me. This time I knew he had plans. Not because he had told me, but because Alice had invited herself over once she knew Jasper had asked Edward to hang out.

Alice and I had dinner together, but I used the rest of the evening to wash my sheets and clean some of my apartment, enjoying some quiet time with a bottle of wine. At eleven thirty, Sandy's pacing by the door signaled my visitor a moment before he knocked. I invited a tipsy Edward in for a quickie, which was a satisfying ending for both of our evenings.

On Thursday, Edward and I had a meeting with Carlisle to present some of his findings and suggested action plans.

"I'm gonna grab a cup of coffee before we go upstairs," I told Edward shortly before our nine o'clock meeting.

"I'll come with you, and then we can head right up."

After fixing our coffees, we took the stairs to Carlisle's floor and were greeted by Jessica.

"He's ready for you," she told us with a wink in Edward's direction. "You can go right in."

"Thanks, Jessica," Edward said politely, and I gave her a tight smile as I walked by.

Edward knocked on the open door frame, causing Carlisle's head to pop up from whatever he was doing.

"Good morning, Edward, Bella," he said, gesturing us into the office and the chairs in front of his desk. "It's good to see you both."

"Morning, Carlisle," I greeted, taking one of the seats.

Edward took the other seat after shaking Carlisle's hand and saying hello. I shifted in my chair, already uncomfortable in the "stylishly chic" furniture.

"So, I understand you have some ideas to present already," Carlisle said to get the meeting going.

"I do," Edward agreed with a nod. Professional Edward was here, and I squirmed again in my seat. "First of all, I wanted to let you know that Bella's been a great help to me. She really knows her way around the company and has contributed quite a bit to what I'll be presenting. The team she put together has been extremely accommodating and helpful as well."

My cheeks darkened under the praise, and I kept my eyes on my notepad to avoid further embarrassment.

"That's good to hear," Carlisle said. "Not that there was ever a doubt in my mind."

"I'll get right down to it then." Edward handed a few papers across the desk to Carlisle, and the discussion began.

Edward led the majority of the conversation with Carlisle asking some questions at various intervals. I only chimed in a few times when necessary. Edward started with some of the smaller items that were already being implemented, then moved on to small- to medium-sized projects that needed approval, followed by the larger items that went above Carlisle's responsibility.

With only a few minor adjustments, Carlisle granted his approval for all of the items within his authority. He also informed us that we'd need to present the larger items directly to the board. Glancing at his calendar, he decided on a plan of action. "How about we meet with the board on Tuesday? You can take the train up to Hartford on Monday afternoon and come back Tuesday night."

I blinked twice while Edward affirmed his availability. "Are you sure you need me?" I asked.

"Of course, Bella," Carlisle responded emphatically. "You are one of the driving forces behind this project. It only makes sense for you to be available to answer any questions that come up."

"I would prefer if you were there as well," Edward commented.

"Um, okay."

Carlisle added, "Bella, I'll confirm the board's availability with you this afternoon and then you can go ahead and book the train and hotel for you and Edward."

I scribbled some details on my notepad. "Do you need me to book for you also?"

"I'll have Jessica take care of that," Carlisle responded. "I'll probably take a later train on Monday night and stay a few extra days so I can plan some additional meetings."

The meeting ended not long after that, and Edward and I returned to his office to work on a more detailed presentation for the board. We spent the afternoon creating PowerPoint slides and spreadsheets, rewording and revising, and making sure everything was perfect.

Carlisle's confirmation email came just as we started to pack up, so I told Edward I would book our trip the following morning. We spent what seemed like an extra intense evening together before parting for the night, and for the first time, my Edward induced orgasms were not enough to help me sleep. I was looking forward to another weekend with him and perhaps another sight-seeing trip, but at the same time I was concerned about how we would act while on a business trip together.

Would he want to have our usual evening rendezvous? Or would he maintain a professional decorum for the entirety of the trip? Frankly, I didn't know which one I preferred.

I booked our train tickets and hotel on Friday morning, and then we continued our work on the presentation for the board. Edward pulled some research from his previous assignments, which supported the expectations of the projects he wanted to undertake.

Right around lunchtime, Edward sighed and started shutting down his laptop.

"Going somewhere?" I asked jokingly.

"Uh, yeah. I have to catch a flight."

"Oh." I was sure I failed to keep the disappointment out of my voice.

"Sorry," he said. "I probably should have told you I was going home for the weekend. I don't do it often, but—"

"No," I said, cutting him off and shaking my head. "You've got things to do. It's cool." I tried for nonchalance, but my tone was anything but indifferent. I had been looking forward to another weekend of sexual activity and now would have to go without.

I reminded myself we weren't in a relationship and he didn't owe me any explanations. Fuck buddy status meant just that. When we were both agreeable, we fucked.

"I won't be back until late on Sunday," he said quietly.

"All right, well, have a good trip. Guess I'll see you on Monday morning."

He looked at me for a long moment before putting his laptop into his briefcase. With the strap thrown over his shoulder, he reached down and pulled a small rolling suitcase out from under the table.

"Have a good weekend, Bella."

I turned my head to face my notepad and busied myself with straightening some papers. "Yeah, you too," I said without glancing up. I kept my head down until I heard the door close behind him. With a deep sigh, I gathered my belongings and headed back to my office. There was no need for me to stay in Edward's office when he wasn't there.

The rest of the day dragged by. A Friday should have been exciting, but knowing I had nothing to look forward to made me miserable. I considered going out and finding another hookup, that maybe I should take a step back from Edward anyway, but not only did that go against our agreement, it also went against what I really wanted.

Alice stopped by on her way out of the office.

"Hey," she greeted with a smile. "How come you're not in Edward's office?"

"He left early."

"Oh, are you going to see him later?" she asked in a lower voice even though Shelly and Esme were gone for the night.

I shook my head. "He actually went home for the weekend."

"Are you okay with that?"

I shrugged. "Of course. He's allowed to go home. He doesn't have to clear anything with me."

Alice knew me better than anyone else and could read my face like an open book. She raised an eyebrow at me. "But you want him to clear it with you."

"No," I protested, appalled at the insinuation. Then I let out a breath. "Yes … I don't know. I shouldn't care. It's his life, and we're not in a relationship so it shouldn't matter. As far as I know, he's just going to visit his mother. There's nothing wrong with that."

"But …" she prompted.

"I don't know. This is probably a good thing anyway. I need to make sure I keep my distance, so a weekend away from each other should help."

"Bella," she admonished. "I know that's what you _think_ you should want, but is it _really_ what you want?"

"It doesn't matter what I want," I protested. "You, of all people, know why I can't get attached. This is good. Space is good."

She let out a long sigh and shook her head. "Maybe you should just let yourself feel something this one time—"

"No, Alice." I threw the rest of my things in my bag and slung it over my shoulder. "I can't. I _won't_. Besides, he doesn't date either, so it's a moot point."

I started walking briskly out of the HR office and toward the elevator with Alice following on my heels. "But he could be different—"

"Just stop," I said firmly, spinning around to face her. "Let it go."

She looked in my eyes for a moment and then shook her head again. "Fine, I'll let it go … for now … but we're not done with this discussion."

"I am," I insisted as I stepped into the open elevator.

Alice followed me in. "All right. You wanna come to Whit's with me tonight?"

I didn't need her pity invite since I knew she was just going to hang around the bar and talk to Jasper all night. "No thanks. I have a lot of stuff to catch up on anyway."

Sandy seemed pleased to have me home all night, so I spent the evening on the couch with a book and a bottle of wine. I finally went to bed when the bottle was empty and the words on the page started to blur together.

I slept until almost ten on Saturday morning and forced myself to do the laundry that had been waiting for me all week. The piles were large, and I was once again thankful for choosing an apartment that came equipped with a washer and dryer. I separated everything by color on the floor in the hallway right in front of the laundry closet and then started filling the washer with warm water for the first load. As I lifted handfuls of clothes into the machine, I came across the blue T-shirt and shorts Edward had loaned me after our trip to the zoo.

I sighed before bringing them up to my nose. I had only worn them for the short trip from Edward's apartment to mine, and the fabric still smelled like his laundry detergent mixed with his scent. After rolling my eyes at myself, I threw them into the washer with everything else. I'd have to make sure to return them to him as soon as he was back.

I made a quick trip to the liquor store and my favorite Chinese restaurant in the early evening and then plopped myself down on the couch again. Sandy happily snuggled up in my lap while I watched a movie. She scrambled off of me a few hours later when I went to put the leftovers away, but instead of coming back to sit with me, she started pacing in front of the door and crying.

"He's not there, Sandy," I said, annoyed that even my cat wouldn't let me forget Edward. She sat down on her little butt and let out a pathetic mewl. "He's not coming, so just come back here."

She didn't move from her spot by the door. With a sigh, I turned off the TV and picked her up. "It's just you and me, girl. Let's go to bed." I turned out the lights and took my crying cat into the bedroom.

I forced myself to focus on packing for the trip to Hartford on Sunday instead of letting my mind wander to Edward. Of course, the more I focused on _not_ thinking about him, the more he was on my mind. As I placed each item in my suitcase I wondered what he would think of them. Would he like the professional suit I was planning to wear? Would he enjoy looking at my legs in the skirt? What would he think of the lacy thong I planned to wear, and would he even get a chance to see it?

With a sigh, I zipped up my suitcase and put it by the door. I wanted to get extra sleep because Monday and Tuesday were going to be long days with an almost five hour train ride each way. Lying in bed, my mind continued to wander. Edward said he wouldn't be back until late tonight, but how late was late? Would he try to come over when he got in? Was he missing our time together anywhere near as much as I had to admit I was?

I rolled over and pulled my pillow over my head in frustration when I realized my ears were straining to hear any kind of sound in the hallway. I finally had to put some music on so I could fall asleep.

First thing Monday morning I rolled my small suitcase into Edward's office, surprised to see he wasn't there yet. On the mornings we didn't run into each other on the way to work, he was usually in the office ahead of me. I pushed my suitcase to the side, started my laptop and headed down the hall to get coffee. Edward still wasn't there when I got back.

I went over the presentation to ensure there were no typos or any other issues and was completely engrossed in it when Edward finally came in around nine o'clock.

"Sorry I'm late," he said wearily. "I didn't have time to pack when I got home last night."

"No problem," I said airily. "I'm just going over the presentation to make sure we didn't miss anything."

He took his seat and started up his laptop, turning his chair toward me while he waited for it. "How was your weekend?" he asked quietly.

"Just fine, and yours?"

"Tiring," he responded weakly. "Listen, I'm really sorry about—"

I cut him off. "Don't, Edward. You don't owe me anything, and we can't do this here. We've got a lot to get through before we leave."

"Right," he said through gritted teeth, turning back to his computer. "But we have nearly five hours on the train that is _not_ work time."

I understood his implication and could only nod in response. It looked like we'd be talking later, but for now we had business to attend to.

* * *

**A/N: So, five hours on the train coming up next! I really love hearing what you guys think is going to happen—who will "break" first, when will they break, will he stay, will she go, etc. What do you think will be happening on the train?**

**The teaser will post on Facebook.**

**Don't forget to sign up for Smut University! It's a lot of fun interacting with other writers while participating in the Smut Chats. The lineup of professors is really impressive this year. I'm in awe of the people I'm working alongside of!**

**See you on Thursday!**


	11. Chapter 11

**NSFW**

**Chapter 11**

Time always seemed to fly when you were dreading something, and Monday was no different. Edward put his professional demeanor back on, and we were able to put the final touches on the presentation. At two o'clock, I excused myself to change my clothes before we headed out to the train station.

Edward was waiting patiently for me in the lobby outside his office, looking sexier than necessary in loose-fitting, light blue jeans and a long sleeve cotton shirt. He smiled as he took in my appearance. My travel clothes consisted of a similar long sleeve shirt, gray yoga pants and my black Chucks.

"Um, are you up for a walk?" I asked as we approached the elevator with our rolling suitcases.

He nodded. "It's pretty nice out. I don't mind."

We entered the empty elevator. "It doesn't make sense to backtrack to Suburban Station, and it'll take longer to find a cab than it will to walk the fifteen blocks. It's an easy walk though."

We stepped out of the building into bright sunlight and a blue sky, although the weather had taken a decidedly colder turn. The leaves on the few trees dotting the city streets had begun to change color in the early October air. We walked in silence for most of the way and reached 30th Street Station relatively quickly.

The station was large but easy to navigate, so I told Edward I wanted to stop for a snack before we boarded the train. Knowing we'd be on the train through dinnertime, he decided to join me. Once we both had purchased coffee and snacks, we made our way to the platform and found seats in a nearly empty car.

"I've never taken Amtrak before," Edward commented as we settled into the cushioned seats. "This is pretty nice."

"It's not a bad way to travel," I agreed, shoving my briefcase beneath my seat.

We sat quietly while a few other passengers boarded the train, but the car was still fairly empty when we began to move. I took the last sip of my coffee and placed the empty cup in the cup holder next to me before reaching down and pulling my iPod from the side pocket of my bag.

Edward stilled my arm before I could sit all the way back up. "We should talk," he said quietly.

I took a deep breath and let it out, knowing I wasn't going to be able to put this off any longer, and nodded my agreement before returning the iPod to my bag. Sitting back in my seat with my head against it, I stared blankly at the seat in front of me.

"I wanted to tell you that I was leaving for the weekend," Edward started, but I shook my head.

"You don't owe me an explanation," I insisted.

"Would you just …" He looked around the car in frustration before turning to face me in his seat. "Just let me say this, okay? There are things I want to tell you."

I tried to interrupt, but he was having none of it. He held his hand up and continued speaking. "I know you don't want to tell me anything about yourself. I get that, and believe me, I understand it. But I want to tell you this, all right? If it happens again, I don't want you to think I'm just ditching you."

I nodded, and he shifted in his seat to face me more fully. I mirrored his position.

He blew out a breath and began to speak. "When my dad passed away, my mom didn't take it so well. I was going to withdraw from school to take care of her, but she wouldn't hear of it. She insisted that my father would want me to complete my education, which I knew, but I didn't see the harm in pushing it off a little, you know?"

My head bobbed in agreement, but Edward's eyes were unfocused on the window above my shoulder.

"She was adamant. She had her best friend who lives next door, and she promised me she'd be fine. For a little while, she was doing okay." He turned his head to face our laps, so I lifted the armrest between us and scooted forward in my seat. "She'd have good days and bad, but Mrs. Webber—that's our neighbor—would call me and keep me updated.

"Right before Spring Break, Mrs. Webber called to say that she was getting worse." He let out a breath and picked up my hand, fiddling with my fingertips. Sensing he needed the contact, I didn't pull away. "We decided over the phone that she was going to need more help than our little town could provide, so Mr. and Mrs. Webber drove her to Seattle and we checked her into an in-patient facility for depression."

My mind boggled at the similarities, and it must have shown on my face.

"What?" Edward asked, squeezing my hand.

I shook my head. "Nothing."

"If you don't tell me what you're thinking, I'm going to think the worst."

"Fine," I answered. "I was just kind of amazed at the similarities between us … or between our parents. Small town, depression, nowhere to treat it." At his furrowed brow, I squeezed his hand back. "But this is your story. Go on."

He gave a slight nod. "Okay, well, to skip all the unimportant details, she basically got treatment and got better with the right meds, and she was able to go back home. By the time I graduated and was looking for a job, I was able to see that she was doing all right on her own. She actually pushed me to take the job with Volturi, saying I was only young once and I should see the country while I could.

"For the most part she's okay now, and she still has Mrs. Webber who checks in on her all the time. But every now and then she'll go through a down phase and need some help. Sometimes it's enough for Mrs. Webber or me to be there, and sometimes it's a medication change that she needs."

He looked blankly out the window again, but his fingers never stopped playing with my own. "So that's what happened this weekend. Mrs. Webber called me on Thursday not long before you came over, asking if I could come home for the weekend. I booked my ticket and then I just had to wait. And while I waited"—he looked directly at me—"I didn't want to feel. I just wanted to lose myself for a few hours. I had every intention of telling you, but once you got there it was just easier to forget."

With a sigh, he linked our fingers together. "So, I'm sorry I didn't tell you what was going on, and I'm sorry that I basically used you on Thursday night."

"Isn't that what we're here for?" I asked, trying to lighten the mood somewhat, but Edward didn't look amused in the least. "Sorry … I know what you meant, and you don't really owe me an apology. I mean, we really don't know that much about each other, and you're not obligated to tell me." I shrugged.

"I know I'm not obligated to tell you, Bella. But I'm an open book. You can ask me whatever you want."

"Okay." It really wasn't okay, because the more I found out about him, the more attached I was getting. I couldn't let that happen. I _wouldn't_. He was going to abandon me like everyone else, and my heart couldn't handle that again.

"But not right now," he added. "That was a long weekend, and I'm really tired."

I gave him a smile, and he shifted his position, leaning his chair back and closing his eyes. I took out my iPod and closed my own eyes while I let some relaxing music flow through me. Edward's head eventually drifted down to my shoulder, and then in a move I couldn't even comprehend, he turned and hugged me around my waist with his head on my chest.

It didn't look like a comfortable position, so I ran my fingers through his hair to try to wake him up. That only caused him to hum and hold me tighter. I decided to let him be and allowed my fingers to continue raking through the soft strands until I drifted off, trying not to let myself think about how much I liked the feel of him cuddled up to me.

We both woke with a start when the train stopped at one of the stations along our route, and without any words, we sat up and went about our business. The rest of the ride was relatively quiet as we ate our snacks and did things independent of each other. I read my book, and Edward was doing something on his laptop.

When we arrived at our stop and exited the train station, the cold evening air caused me to shiver.

"Shit," I muttered as we walked toward our hotel.

"What's the matter?"

"I didn't think about how much colder it would be up here. I brought a skirt for tomorrow," I admitted. We were approaching the hotel, but just ahead of it I could see a drug store. "I'm gonna run into that drug store and pick up some pantyhose."

"I'll come with you," Edward offered like the gentleman he was.

I quickly made my way down the aisles to the "emergency pantyhose" section. Who bought pantyhose from a drug store on a regular basis? Edward followed behind and stopped next to me, pulling my suitcase next to his and out of the way of the display.

My eyes scanned over the rack for black pantyhose in my size, but there weren't any. The only thing I could find was a pair of thigh-high hose, so I grabbed them and headed to the register.

It didn't take long for us to get back to the hotel and check in. As we stepped into the elevator, Edward said, "I think I'm gonna call it an early night. I really need to catch up on some sleep."

I nodded in understanding. "Carlisle is going to meet us in the lobby at eight thirty."

"You want to meet for breakfast before that?" he asked.

"Sure." I shrugged. "Seven forty-five in the restaurant downstairs?"

"See you then," Edward said as the doors opened on my floor.

I stepped off the elevator and turned, smiling and giving him a small wave before the doors closed. When I got into my room I decided Edward had the right idea, so I headed to the shower and then got in bed with my book.

I did my best to keep my mind off of the fact that it had been four long days since we'd been together and I was dying for his touch. It wasn't like I hadn't gone four days without an orgasm before, but it wasn't the actual orgasms I was missing. It was Edward.

Over breakfast we discussed the presentation a little more, and Edward did his best to ease my nerves. As much as my job had me presenting in front of other employees, I wasn't usually in the position of having to talk in front of the board of directors. Edward, of course, was calm and collected since this was a normal part of his job. I was glad I wouldn't have to speak too much.

Carlisle met us in the lobby and told us the car had just arrived, so we piled into the black sedan and made the fifteen minute drive to the office. He took us straight up to the executive floor and asked the receptionist to stow our luggage. Janice was an older woman and seemed very sweet, offering us coffee or water before leading us to the conference room. She didn't try to flirt with Edward, which was a relief, seeing as I was feeling rather possessive going into my fifth day of withdrawal.

Edward pulled out a chair for me and then took the seat beside me as we waited for the board members to arrive. They trickled in one by one, and Carlisle introduced us in turn. By the time the room filled up I was feeling rather out of place being the only woman in attendance. I was glad I had worn my black suit. It made me feel professional, with a skirt ending just above my knees and a simple, light pink camisole underneath the blazer. Three inch black heels gave me confidence as I stood and shook each gentleman's hand.

Once everyone was settled in their seats, Joe, the CFO of the company, began the meeting. "Carlisle, we were all very glad to hear that your team has been making progress so quickly, and we're interested to see what ideas you've come up with already."

"Thanks, Joe," Carlisle said with a nod. "I've already given the go ahead for several projects to begin implementation. I'm going to let Edward present them, along with those that need the board's approval. I think you'll be pleased with what he's come up with."

With a dip of his head, he turned the meeting over to Edward, who started up the PowerPoint presentation while I passed the handouts around the table. Standing from his seat, Edward began to address the room in his usual professional manner.

Knowing most of the presentation by heart already, I took the time to watch the faces of the men in the room. They all seemed impressed with what Edward had to say, or maybe it was just the confidence with which he said it. There were questions asked, only a few of which Edward deferred to me, but for the most part everyone agreed with the planned projects.

The one main stumbling block came from the Chief Information Officer, Demetri. He didn't seem to like the idea of our office staff going around the Help Desk he had put in place. Edward calmly backed up his suggestion, switching off the main presentation in favor of some statistics from other companies. He explained that the Help Desk would still be used and every incident tracked, but the employees would enjoy quicker response time and less downtime if they were allowed to approach Garrett directly. Garrett would then be responsible for ensuring the incident was tracked, something which he had already agreed to.

Demetri deferred any agreement on the change until he could research it further, and Edward promised to send the additional statistics to him along with testimonials from some of his former clients. Once that was settled, we took a quick break to eat the lunch that had been brought in for us.

"That was great, the way you handled that," I whispered to Edward when he placed his plate of food down and took his seat.

"Thanks." He shrugged. "I pretty much anticipated his reaction. That's the way it always is when someone feels like you're attacking their pet project." He took a bite of his sandwich.

"Yeah, but I wouldn't have known how to handle it," I admitted, nibbling thoughtfully on a potato chip.

"That's why I'm good at what I do, and you're good at what you do. I could never put together the kinds of training manuals you do. I'm more of a 'big picture' kind of guy."

The meeting ended with some time to spare before Edward and I had to make our way back to the train station, so I told him I was going to change my clothes before we left. I had been admiring him in his tailored suit all day, and I was somewhat disappointed when he said he was going to do the same.

I stepped into the deserted ladies room and pushed my suitcase up against the far wall. The large, open space was pristine, and I was pretty sure Janice was the only one who used it on a regular basis. I took a paper towel from the holder and wet it down, pressing it first to my forehead and then my neck. When I heard the squeak of the door opening, I was surprised to see Edward entering the bathroom.

"I think you're lost," I told him with a smirk, placing the towel on the counter.

I heard the lock click as he stood in front of the door and stared at me. He shook his head and began stalking toward me, still looking fuckhot in his navy blue suit and blue and silver striped tie.

"All I've been able to think about," he said as he got closer, backing me up to the wall, "since the drug store last night is seeing these thigh-highs on your fantastic legs." He reached his hand down to the edge of my skirt, skimming his palm upward and taking the material with him. "Do you have any idea how distracting this was all day?"

He reached the top of the hose and looked down between us, rubbing his fingers along the strip of skin above them. He lifted my leg and pulled it around his thigh.

"Edward, we can't do this here," I protested weakly.

"No one's coming in here," he said lowly, dipping his head down and kissing my neck. His other hand gripped my waist, pulling me into him so I could feel how hard he was. "God, I've missed touching you."

I whimpered, and his hand moved up my bare skin, focusing on the flesh of my ass that was accessible around my thong. The small triangle of material was doing a piss poor job of containing my arousal.

Edward shifted us so one of his thighs was between my legs and his hand could access me from the front. His fingers zeroed in on the drenched material between my legs. "Fuck, Bella. I wanna feel you come on my fingers."

Before I could protest, he had moved the fabric aside and pushed two fingers inside of me. His mouth captured mine as he swallowed my groan. He continued to kiss me as his fingers expertly worked me over, his thumb brushing my clit in tight circles. I was wound so tightly from missing his touch that in no time, I was gripping his shoulders and thrusting my hips in rhythm with his hand.

His other hand deftly opened the button of my blazer and surrounded my breast, heat searing me through the thin material of my bra and camisole. I moaned as he pinched my nipple, and before I knew it I was biting his lip and coming on his fingers.

He slowed his movements as I came down from my high but didn't remove his fingers. He looked down between us again and groaned. "That is so fuckin' hot," he said before slowly pulling his fingers out.

My leg dropped down to the floor as he backed away. He held his fingers up and looked me in the eye as he sucked them into his mouth. "Tonight … when we get home …" he promised, and then he turned on his heel and walked out of the bathroom.

My head hit the wall behind me as I realized what had happened. I had just broken one of my own rules.

* * *

**A/N: So, that happened. Let me hear your thoughts! I was able to respond to reviews for the last chapter—those of you who have read my other stories know how much I enjoy interacting with you, but life has just been too busy lately. I did want to address a couple of things from some who were not signed in.**

**How does she know he's not married or separated and has a child in Seattle? – **Well, she didn't (before this chapter) know that, and no matter what, she has to decide whether she believes what he says, and more importantly, if it matters to her. I'll give you that this Bella probably would be bothered by a wife, but if he's got a kid, is that really an issue in this "casual" relationship? Remember, this is Bella's viewpoint, not my own!

**They need to talk about Edward's past. Bella is cool with a one night stand but regardless of condoms how clean is Edward? – **Technically, that question should apply to Bella as well since she has had her fair share of one night stands. They are using condoms, but since we don't see every single interaction between them (I don't think I can write that many lemons!), we can guess that they may have discussed some of this stuff. And if not, maybe they will at some point in the future.

**Several people asked if there would be an EPOV outtake, and the answer right now is "maybe." I don't currently have anything planned, but if you tell me what you'd like to see, I will consider it. You may want to wait though, because I have a feeling you'll be more anxious to know what's going through Edward's head later in the story. These two still have a long way to go!**

**There will be a bit of a time jump in the next chapter, and I think it will give you what most of you have been waiting for—Bella's past.**

**Sorry for such a long note! See you on Monday.**


	12. Chapter 12

**Sensitive topic discussed in this chapter. If you are concerned, please PM me before reading.**

**Chapter 12**

Things settled into a bit of a routine over the next few weeks. Weekdays were filled with project planning, group meetings, training manuals and training sessions. Nights were filled with Edward.

After he told me his mother had wanted him to see as much of the country as possible, I made it a point to suggest a sight-seeing trip every weekend. Sometimes it was just the two of us, but sometimes Alice and Jasper would join us. We went to see the Liberty Bell and The Franklin Institute, but Edward's favorite seemed to be the day we spent visiting the shops and bars on South Street.

Edward didn't go home for any more spur of the moment visits, but he did go home for the long Thanksgiving weekend. With Alice and Jasper visiting Jasper's brother in Texas, I was left on my own. Edward had asked what I was doing for the holiday, and I made up some bullshit about visiting some friends.

The truth of the matter was I preferred to be alone. No one needed to see me wallowing in my misery.

As I sat watching the Philadelphia Thanksgiving Day Parade on TV instead of braving the biting winds to see it live a few blocks away, I thought about how wonderful the holiday was when I was a child. My mom used to come up with the craziest concoctions instead of cooking traditional holiday food. Somehow, they all would turn out delicious. Our house would be full with Billy, Jake, Rebecca and Rachel, and several of my father's deputies would stop by throughout the day.

That all stopped when I was fifteen and I was abandoned for the first time.

I shook my head to get rid of the unpleasant thoughts and started petting Sandy, who was content on my lap. With the parade depressing me more than I needed, I flipped through the stations until I found a _Friends_ marathon. A few good laughs would ensure my sanity. It was going to be a long weekend.

One night a few weeks later I was on Edward's couch, sharing a pizza with him. It was something I found myself doing more often lately.

"So, what do you want to do this weekend?" he asked, pulling one of my bent legs into his lap.

"I don't know," I said with a shrug. "You'll have seen all Philly has to offer by the time you leave here in three months." The comment was supposed to be lighthearted, but it made my heart drop.

"Yeah, I actually wanted to talk to you about—"

He was cut off by the ringing of my cell phone. I rolled my eyes and swiped my finger across it, declining the call.

Edward chuckled through his nose. "Was that the Wicked Witch of the West's theme song?"

"Yep." I took another bite of my pizza just as the tune sounded from my phone again. Shaking my head, I powered it down and tossed it onto the coffee table.

"Someone really wants to speak to you," Edward commented.

"Too bad I have nothing to say to her." I did find it odd that she called twice in a row. She wasn't normally that persistent.

"Was that your mother?"

"Yep." I threw the crust of my pizza onto my plate and dropped it on the table.

"Tell me about her?" he requested gently.

"You don't want to hear this."

"Yes … I do," he insisted.

I huffed and sat up, looking at his honest, open expression. "It's not pretty, Edward," I warned.

"I don't care." He pulled me toward him and turned my body so my back was to his chest, once again knowing what I needed without asking. If I looked at him, I'd never get through the story.

His arms wrapped around mine and he linked our fingers together. His quiet patience gave me the courage to tell him what only Alice knew.

With a deep breath, I started the story. "She was a good mother when I was a kid, always taking me places and doing things with me. I have a lot of decent memories of being a happy family. But apparently small town life suffocated her. I knew she hated going to the diner and listening to all the old cronies gossip like women, so instead she'd take me on day trips away from our small town of Gap."

I stared blankly at a spot on the wall across from me. "I had no idea how _much_ she hated it though. When she just up and left when I was fifteen, I was in complete shock, and so was my dad. I think she thought she had done her duty and I was all grown up, but it was exactly the opposite.

"I was _fifteen_. I had just started noticing boys, and I needed a mother to talk to about it. I needed to talk to her about the trials of high school, but she was just gone. She just left and didn't tell anyone where she was going. My dad was still there … but he wasn't." I shrugged my shoulders, not really wanting to get into that story.

My fingers tightened around Edwards before I continued. "She basically vanished for five years and then somehow located me at college. By that time I was way too bitter to hear her out, not that it mattered. She didn't have anything nice to say. She just ragged on my choices and told me I should find a sugar daddy to take care of me like she did." I scoffed, thinking about how each of her boyfriends lasted a shorter amount of time than the previous one. Although it had been a while since I'd spoken to her, and for all I knew she could still be with the last one which she actually married, though I highly doubted it.

Edward squeezed my hands. "These days when she calls, it's usually to tell me that I should have settled down by now, that I should have some hot, older guy taking care of me like she does. But she abandoned me, you know? She was the first one to leave. She doesn't get to have a say in my life."

"What does your father say about her behavior?" Edward asked quietly.

I laughed bitterly and looked up to the ceiling, trying to keep the burning in my eyes from becoming tears.

When I didn't answer, I felt Edward's lips against the side of my head. "Where's your father, Bella?" he asked on a breath against my ear.

"He was the next to abandon me," I said, choking back a sob.

"Was it the depression?"

I nodded with the back of my head against his chest, and he squeezed my hands tighter as I swallowed against the lump in my throat. "He tried. I know he did. He tried to be there for me and keep everything together, but she was the love of his life. He just … he started drinking more and more, and then there were nights he wouldn't even come home. I was basically left on my own to take care of the house and the bills.

"I was really glad to have his best friend's family there for me. They were the only ones who really knew what was going on with him. Jacob was my age, and he and I got really close because my dad was like a second father to him. We just sort of fell into a relationship. I guess it was easy, and I had no parental figure there to tell me that it wasn't enough to love him like a brother."

Edward shifted slightly, pulling me in tighter and surrounding me with his long legs. I took comfort from his embrace.

"I thought everything was okay, or as good as could be expected," I continued with a sniffle. "My dad was barely around, but I had worked hard and got a scholarship to Temple, and I was really excited to go. I went for my freshman semester but came home the first few weekends to check on him. I would cook food and leave it for him, although I had no idea if he even ate it."

He buried his face in my neck and inhaled deeply, leaving a kiss and murmuring, "What happened to him?"

I sniffed and lost the battle with my tears. A few rolled silently down my cheeks, though I didn't bother to wipe them away. My voice was weak as I let the words out. "The weekend after my eighteenth birthday, I went home like I had for the past few weeks. As soon as I walked in the front door, I knew something was wrong." The scene played out in my mind before I spoke it, causing me to inhale sharply. "I dropped my keys in their usual spot, but there was a note there. It just said 'I'm sorry.'"

I turned around quickly and buried my face in Edward's chest. His arms stayed tight around me as he let me cry on him. One hand brushed some hair out of my face before he placed a kiss on my temple.

"He shot himself, Edward!" I finally yelled, sitting up slightly and fisting his shirt. "And all he had to say was 'I'm sorry.' He knew I'd be coming home. He knew I'd find him. Do you know what the first thing I saw was?" I sat up further and looked in his red-rimmed eyes. "I walked into the living room and saw his blood and brain splattered on the wall." I sobbed again. "And then I saw his lifeless body sitting in his favorite recliner."

"Shh," he said, pulling me back into his chest and rocking us gently. "It's okay, sweetheart. I'm here. It's okay."

I cried for a while, the pain feeling as fresh as it did the day I found him, but I decided Edward needed the whole story. I knew he was trying to get close to me, and I had to make sure he understood why I could never allow it.

"He wasn't the last person to abandon me," I mumbled when the tears ebbed.

"What do you mean?"

I blew out a deep breath, keeping my cheek on Edward's chest. "I was still dating Jake, but he left me too." His grip on me tightened. "He just couldn't take it, he'd said. He had been too close to my dad, and being with me was a constant reminder. So he left me to deal with it on my own."

I felt more kisses on the top of my head.

"By my junior year, I thought I was doing okay, that I was ready to date again." I sat up and wiped my face, sniffling quietly. "I met Felix at a party, and we started hanging out all the time. I thought everything was going great between us, but apparently he didn't. About five months into the relationship we went to a party together one night. I went searching for him after an hour or so, and when I found him, he was fucking some other chick."

I could see the anger on Edward's face, but I shrugged it off. This was the easy part. At least I never loved Felix. "Of course he made it seem like we were never serious to begin with, and when I tried to argue with him, he called me a frigid bitch and said the sex sucked anyway. So from that point on, I decided I wouldn't get attached to anyone because it only ever ended in heartache."

I slumped back down on his chest and let the pounding of his heart soothe me while his hands ran through my hair.

"So that's why you don't date?" he asked quietly.

"Pretty much," I said absently, my fingers twisting in the cotton of his shirt. "Why put yourself out there just to have everyone you care about leave you? It's just better to be alone."

"I'm not sure I agree with that."

I sat up again and put a little space between us. "No? You don't date either."

He shrugged. "It's not so much a preference as it is the circumstances of my life." He grabbed my hand and held it between us, rubbing his thumb over my knuckles. "When my dad died, I focused all my energy on finishing school and making sure my mom was okay. Then when I took this job, it was easier to bury myself in work, and with all the travel, I wasn't exactly relationship material. Doesn't mean I don't _want_ to date or that I don't see the value in having a relationship."

"I guess that's one area where we disagree."

Edward looked into my eyes and let out a sigh. He leaned over and kissed my lips gently. "Wait here. I'll be right back."

I sat on the couch, not having a clue what he was doing until I heard the water in the bathroom start up. He came back a few minutes later, offered me a hand and pulled me up. He led me into the bathroom where the tub was filling with water.

Without words, he began pulling the clothes from my body. When I stood naked before him, he turned me around, gathered my hair and wrapped it into a bun with an elastic band. I turned back around to find him stripping off his own clothes before he stepped into the tub. Taking my hand again, he pulled me in with him.

He turned off the water and sat down, positioning me between his legs with my back to his chest. The standard size tub was too small for both of us, but he did his best to give me space to stretch out. With my head on his shoulder, he began bringing up handfuls of water and letting it flow over my exposed shoulders and chest, followed by running his hands gently over me.

"Just relax and let me take care of you," he murmured, kissing my temple.

I melted into his embrace, surrounded by his arms, legs, body and the warm water. I let my eyes drift closed and enjoyed the comfort he provided, if only for a few minutes.

The warmth completely surrounded me, and I felt a heavy weight around my waist. It took a moment to be able to open my eyes. When I did, all I saw was the glow of digital numbers a few feet away from my face.

Three twenty-seven.

My brain caught up in an instant and I turned my head, realizing I was no longer in the bathtub but surrounded by Edward's body in his bed. I vaguely remembered Edward moving me at some point, but I must have been so exhausted from my breakdown that I didn't pay attention to what was going on.

I started to move away from him, wondering where my clothes were, but his arm tightened around my waist, his hand splayed across my chest.

"Mmph," he muttered into my hair. "Don't go."

Pretty sure he was still asleep, I once again attempted to free myself by carefully pulling his arm away and sliding out of the bed. I looked around the dark room, not able to see enough to know if my clothes were in there or still in the bathroom. I was just about to step around the bed when Edward spoke again.

"Where are you going?" His voice was much clearer this time, and I could see his form propped up on one elbow.

"I need to get home. Where are my clothes?" My eyes darted around the room again as they began to adjust to the darkness.

"It's late. Just come back to bed," he said, reaching for me.

I took a small step back. "I need to go."

"No, you don't." I tried to protest, but he cut me off. "Bella," he said more forcefully, "just get back in bed."

"I—"

"Would you just let me take care of you for once?" He sounded frustrated and angry, but he reached out again and gently took hold of my hand, pulling my all-too-willing body back into the warmth of his embrace.

I was facing him this time, our bodies as close as possible with his leg thrown over my hip and his arm around my back. He kissed the top of my head before murmuring, "Go back to sleep."

I was breaking another one of my rules, yet I couldn't find it in my heart to care at the moment. When the time came, the pain of his leaving would surely tear me apart.

* * *

**A/N: Just to clarify in case you missed the time jumps, we are now three months into Edward's six month assignment. For those who weren't sure which rule was broken in the last chapter, it was Bella's rule about not doing anything at work. Although not in their office, that little bathroom encounter was definitely IN the office!**

**And if you're keeping track, another rule was just broken.**

**I feel like I'm always pimping something here, but I'm gonna share this with you anyway. There are two new ebooks on Amazon right now written by two of my favorite fanfic authors. I worked as part of the editing team on both of these, and they are definitely worth reading! Please check them out!**

**The Dirty Thirty by Jessa Kaye** - Distraught over her impending thirtieth birthday and encouraged by a new, mysterious friend, Sydney Harper decides to strike out on an adventure, leaving her dismal life behind. With nothing but a suitcase in her hand and the wind on her back, she hitchhikes across The Dirty Thirty, checking off a list of hopes and dreams as she travels the highway, and discovering something she never expected.

She finds herself. She finds him.

**The Savage and the Saint by L. C. Morgan** - When a native tribe attacks and her husband is killed, Elizabeth is taken by a savage warrior who terrifies her. Not because of his exotic appearance, clothing or customs, but the new and powerful feelings he attempts to ignite in her.

If only she would let him.

**See you on Thursday!**


	13. Chapter 13

**NSFW**

**Chapter 13**

When Edward's alarm went off, I refused to let the panic set in. Instead of focusing on how good it felt to wake up in his arms or that it was the first time we didn't have sex, I focused on the fact that I needed to get back to my apartment and get ready for work. I wouldn't let my mind linger on all the things I had told him the night before, or how he was going to be added to the growing group of people who had abandoned me. I already knew it was going to hurt, no matter how much I tried to convince myself my heart wasn't invested.

Edward tried to cuddle up to me after snoozing the alarm, but I snaked my way out of his reach.

"I need to get home and shower," I murmured, finding a pout on his face when I looked back.

With a glance around the room, I found my clothes neatly folded on his dresser and smiled to myself. In the three months Edward had been living at The Regency, I had yet to find anything out of place in his apartment. If anything, he was slightly OCD with keeping his place tidy.

I dressed quickly and kissed Edward on the cheek. His sleepy eyes opened and he grabbed my shirt, pulling me to his mouth for a proper kiss, ignoring our morning breath, before letting me go.

"I'll see you in a bit," he said before rolling over and going back to sleep with the pillow I had slept on clutched to his chest.

Sandy was crying when I got down the hall to my apartment, but she began purring immediately when I picked her up and held her close. "Sorry, girl," I told her. "I know you're not used to me staying away. Neither am I." I sighed and put her down.

After downing my first hit of caffeine, I dropped my clothes in a pile outside the bathroom door, turned the water on and stepped into the shower. The hot water relaxed my muscles, but it also reminded me of being in Edward's arms in the bathtub the night before. I shook the thoughts from my head and washed quickly, securing one towel around my body and another on my hair when I finished.

I opened the bathroom door and found Sandy lying on her back, paws in the air and neck stretched to the side on my pile of clothes. I rolled my eyes. "They smell like Edward, don't they?" I asked my nonresponsive cat. "I'm starting to think you'd leave me too if I gave you the chance." I pulled the clothing out from under her, causing her to hiss and run down the hall. In an angry huff, I tossed everything in the hamper.

Edward and I didn't see much of each other in the office that day, which was becoming more the norm as our projects became more definitive. I ran a training class while he had a meeting with the underwriting assistants to discuss in more detail how they could back each other up. Before leaving for the evening, we made plans to meet at my apartment before going to Whit's, as had become our usual Friday night routine followed by Saturday morning breakfast at Cherry Street Café.

I was dressed and ready to go early, so I headed over to Edward's apartment to wait for him. Music sounded through the closed door. I knocked hard to make sure he heard me.

He opened the door in nothing but a pair of jeans, his hair still wet from a recent shower. Something about seeing his bare feet peeking out from the blue denim made me smile. It was a boyish look, but glancing back up at his bare chest didn't feel childlike at all.

"Hey, come on in."

I stepped inside and closed the door behind me while he moved over to the docking station that was playing classical music. "You can leave it," I said, realizing he was about to turn it off. "It's nice." I didn't know much in the way of classical music, but I didn't mind hearing it.

He turned the volume down. "Sorry, my dad used to play this kind of stuff to relax after a bad day at work."

"Oh? What did he do for a living?"

Edward waved in the direction of the couch, and I took my usual seat with my back pressed up against one arm while he faced me from the other end.

"He was a lawyer," he said with a shrug. "He owned the practice, and my mom ran the office."

"Must have been nice for them to work together."

"It was, but it's not like it was anything fancy. Small town stuff, you know? Divorces, wills, the occasional business contract. I think that's why my mom was so lost when he passed away though." He leaned the side of his head against the back of the couch. "They spent all their time together. Once he was gone, she really had nothing. She sold the practice, because it's not like she could run it without a lawyer."

"I can see how that would have been hard on her." I picked at the hem of my shirt. "How did he die, if you don't mind me asking?"

"Heart attack," he said simply. "Didn't even make it to the hospital."

I knew "I'm sorry" was worthless, so I didn't bother with the platitude. "That must have been hard on you too, not even getting to say goodbye or anything." I recalled he once told me he was away at school when his father died.

He ran a hand through his hair, causing the still damp strands to stick up in every direction. "It was probably better that way. He didn't suffer for long." His eyes didn't leave mine as he spoke, but it seemed like he had more to say.

"You were close with him?" I asked.

"Very." He paused, appearing to scrutinize me before speaking again. "Come home with me for Christmas." It was a statement, not a request.

I shook my head, but he cut me off before I could say anything. "I know you didn't visit anyone for Thanksgiving, so don't give me some bullshit that you've got somewhere to be." His eyes were on fire as he glared at me.

"I can't, Edward," I said, pulling my hair over my shoulder and twirling the locks around my finger nervously.

"Give me one good reason," he challenged.

I huffed and stood up with my hands on my hips. "I gave you all my reasons last night. Why do you think that would suddenly change?" I turned, beginning to pace around his small living room, suddenly feeling like a tiger trapped in a cage.

He grasped the tops of my arms and halted my movement. "Isn't it enough that I _want_ you to come with me?" he asked from behind, frustration evident in his tone.

"No." I shook free of his grip and resumed my pacing.

"Why won't you give this a chance?"

"Give what a chance?" I shouted, facing him across the small space. "Give my heart another chance to be abandoned? Give myself another chance to see if I'll _really_ break down this time?" I shook my head forcefully and blinked back the tears.

Edward's nostrils flared and his chest heaved. I braced myself for angry words, but they never came. He stalked across the room, putting both hands on the sides of my face and consuming me with his kiss. I could feel his frustration with each delve of his tongue into my mouth and his anger in the way his fingers tangled in my hair. Yet underneath it all was tenderness and warmth, and of course the hum of electricity that always existed between us.

Emotions were rolling off him in waves. It was evident in the trembling of his muscles where my fingers dug in to his waist and the gentleness of his palms ghosting over my jaw. It was fiery, angry, lusty and passionate all at the same time.

He groaned when my hand skirted up his chest, my fingertips toying with a taut nipple. Pulling back to look at me, his green eyes were dark with need. "God, I want you." He began kissing my neck, licking and nipping until reaching my ear. "You make me so mad," he nearly growled, "but I want you."

"Then take me," I whispered, digging my fingers into his pecs. My need was as great as his, maybe even more so. I needed him to surround me, consume me, make me forget and make me whole again.

Edward lifted me up and deposited me on the first thing he came to, which happened to be the small kitchen table. My shirt and bra were gone in an instant, and he laid me down as he kissed from my collarbone to my breasts. Squeezing them in his hands, he rolled one nipple between teeth and tongue and then the other. My back arched off the table, the wood digging in to my head and shoulders.

Our movements became frantic as I reached down to open his jeans and he did the same. As soon as he had me naked, he was rolling on the condom and pushing into me. The pace was hard and frantic while we both took our frustrations out on each other. The squeak of the table and our moans and gasps were the only sounds heard above the soft music still playing in the room.

His fingers rubbed circles over my sensitive flesh, pushing me over the edge quickly. Edward followed right after with a groan as one hand dug in to my hip. We both panted for breath until he slowly pulled out, lifting me by my waist and placing me back on the floor.

"I'll be right back," he said, pecking my lips before he left to dispose of the condom.

I grabbed my jeans and underwear, stepping into them and looking around for my shirt and bra. Edward was back by the time I located them, and his eyes never left my body, even once it was covered up. As he started to put his boxers on, my phone rang, the familiar tune causing me to cringe.

I picked it up from where it had fallen to the floor in our haste to undress, intent on silencing the call once more when Edward stopped me.

"Don't you think you should answer that? It's the third time she's called in two days."

He was right. It wasn't like my mother to be so persistent, but it didn't mean I wanted to hear what she had to say. My finger hovered over the touch screen momentarily before I decided to bite the bullet and find out what was so urgent.

"What?" I barked into the phone.

"Well, hello," my mother answered somewhat too cheerfully.

I sighed and sat on the couch, my free hand grabbing at my hair by the roots. "What do you want, Renee?" I knew it bothered her when I called her by her name, but she hadn't been a mother to me in over ten years. She'd also long since stopped arguing the point since there was no way for her to change my mind. She didn't deserve the title.

"Is it too much to want to talk to my daughter?" she asked.

Edward slipped out of the room. "I'm only your daughter when it's convenient for you, so I know there's something you want."

She let out a deep breath into the phone before speaking. "I'm going to be in the city tomorrow, so I thought we could get together for lunch."

My eyes were trained on Edward as he came back into the living room wearing a shirt. "I'm sorry," I said airily, "but I have plans tomorrow." I was intent on spending every second with Edward I could. It would be bad enough that he was going home for Christmas in about a week.

Edward moved behind me on the couch, placing one leg on either side of me and pulling me back into his chest.

"Just an hour, Bella," Renee nearly whined. "I haven't seen you in so long."

"Funny, you didn't seem to care about not seeing me when you abandoned me as a child," I retorted. "Why the sudden interest in seeing me?"

"Just lunch," she reiterated. "We'll talk."

My nostrils flared as I took a deep breath. Edward leaned forward and whispered in my ear, "I'll go with you."

I closed my eyes and let the air out slowly, thinking that maybe one conversation could get her out of my life for good.

"Fine. One hour. That's it. I'll call you tomorrow and tell you when and where." If I was going to do this, it was going to be on my terms.

"Oh, that's great," she said with fake enthusiasm. "I'm looking forward to seeing you!"

"Right. See you tomorrow." I pressed the end button without waiting for her response. "She's up to something," I said more to myself, putting the phone on the coffee table.

Edward's arms tightened around me. "Whatever it is, we'll find out tomorrow. I'll be with you, so you don't have to do this alone."

It wasn't a good idea to have Edward come with me, but I could admit to myself that I would back out if I were alone. At least if I got this over with, I could go on living my pathetic existence in peace.

* * *

**A/N: Yes, there will be face time with Renee next chapter, so hold on to your hats!**

**See you on Monday.**


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

Edward's threat of dragging me kicking and screaming from my apartment kept me from backing out of lunch with Renee. As it was, I took the chicken shit way out of contacting her and texted with the time and location of a small deli in the neighborhood instead of calling. I wanted to maintain the home field advantage, and the public locale would hopefully keep me from blowing my top.

I almost didn't answer the door when Edward knocked, but I knew he'd keep it up until I relented. As usual, Sandy was happy to see him when he stepped into the apartment.

"No stalling, Bella," he said from across the room when I entered the kitchen and started downing a glass of water. What I really wanted was a shot of vodka, but I had to keep a clear head.

I set the glass down and leaned my hands on the counter, hanging my head between my arms. "I know," I mumbled.

He came up behind me and held out my jacket, lifting one of my arms and pushing it through the sleeve for me before repeating it on the other side. He turned me around to face him, gave me a soft kiss and then proceeded to zip the coat up for me.

With a tug to my hand, he pulled me toward the door, grabbing my cell phone and keys on the way. He locked the door and pocketed the keys before dragging me to the elevator. Inside of it, he wrapped his arms around me and kissed the top of my head. His quiet reassurance strengthened my resolve to face this head-on, so I willingly followed him out of the elevator, down the street and into the deli.

My mother was already seated at a table when Edward and I walked in. She pushed her chair back and stood as we approached the table.

"Bella, it's so good to see you," she said with a forced smile, leaning over to give me a polite hug that I didn't return. "And who do we have here?" I saw her glance down to where Edward's hand was still holding mine tightly.

"It's nice to meet you," Edward offered with a nod, recognizing I wasn't up to speaking yet. "I'm Bella's boyfriend, Edward Masen."

My head whipped around to him as he uttered the dreaded word, but Edward continued on as if it were nothing. "Shall we sit?" He pulled out a chair for me and helped me out of my jacket before taking his own seat.

My lips were tightly pursed together as I looked at the menu even though I didn't have much of an appetite. A young waitress came to our table and took our drink orders, and I fiddled with my silverware while I waited for her to return with my coffee.

It was the height of the lunch rush, so the place was noisy and packed. Most people came in to pick up orders already placed and left quickly, but all of the tables were filled with other diners. I looked around the space, thankfully not finding anyone I knew, and went back to spinning my knife on the laminated surface.

Edward stilled my fingers with his hand on mine, lifting it off the table and placing it on his knee. "So, Renee," he said hesitantly since she hadn't actually introduced herself, "what brings you into town?"

The waitress reappeared with our drinks and asked for our orders. Renee and Edward both ordered a sandwich, but when I said I'd stick with my coffee, Edward protested. "Just get a little something, please?" he whispered.

"Fine, I'll have an order of cheese fries," I relented, rolling my eyes.

When the waitress left, I finally faced my mother. She looked back and forth from Edward to me, so I raised an eyebrow in her direction to let her know she needed to answer his last question.

"I just thought I'd come visit you," she said with a shrug. "It's been so long."

"And whose fault is that?" I said, feeling Edward's grip on my hand tighten.

She took a sip of her soda and put it down. "I know I haven't been around much"—I scoffed at her understatement—"but I was thinking of staying in Philly for a while. I thought maybe we could get reacquainted."

That piqued my interest, and I narrowed my eyes at her. "Is your latest sugar daddy planning to stay here too?"

She looked down at her hands, which were now fidgeting on the table in front of her. "Phil and I aren't together any longer," she said quietly.

"Did you up and leave him too, like you did Charlie and me?" Edward's thumb ran over my knuckles in an attempt to calm me down, but its effect was lessened just by the sight of my mother.

"No," she said, still not looking up. "He left me."

"Oh, this is just too good. What did you do?"

She looked around the restaurant briefly and then back down towards her lap. "He found out I slept with his business partner," she muttered.

It all clicked into place in my head. "So let me guess … He had a rock solid pre-nup which left you with nothing because of your infidelity. Now you've come begging to your _loving_ daughter because you have no one else."

Her head snapped in my direction and I could see the desperation in her eyes. "I just need a place to stay and a little money to get me started. I'm going to find a job and—"

"Enough!" I shouted, slamming my fist on the table and drawing the attention of several other patrons as the silverware rattled and my coffee sloshed over the side of the cup. "I honestly can't believe you even have the guts to show up here and ask me for money, but I guess I shouldn't be surprised."

"I know you have some money from Charlie," she pleaded, causing my fury to rise even further.

"You have _got_ to be kidding me with this. That money went to pay for my college education, not that you deserve a dime that Dad made anyway," I growled. I pushed my chair back, the legs scraping loudly against the tile floor. "It's been nice knowing you, _Mother_, but it's not my responsibility to take care of you. It was _your_ responsibility to take care of me, and you failed miserably at that."

I pulled some money from my pocket and threw a twenty on the table to cover lunch. That was all she would ever get from me. Then I grabbed my coat and stormed out of the restaurant. I could feel all eyes on me as I exited the building, but I didn't care about the scene I had caused.

The cold December air felt good on my overheated face, so I didn't bother to put my coat back on while I stomped down the sidewalk in the direction of The Regency. I was determined not to cry until I was safely behind the door of my apartment, but I lost the battle with my tears in the elevator.

For just a moment, I had hoped she was actually here to explain why she left me the way she did, to tell me she was sorry and to try to make amends. But I knew my mother better than that.

She would never apologize.

She would never explain.

And she would never, ever have a place in my life again.

It wasn't until I made it to my apartment that I realized Edward still had my keys and cell phone. I turned around and slid down the door, hugging my knees to my chest as I buried my face and sobbed while Sandy cried from the other side of the door.

I cried for my father, who didn't deserve to be walked out on by the love of his life. I cried for the loss of my childhood, which should have included mother and daughter talks about boys over a tub of ice cream.

But most of all, I cried because I knew I'd been irreparably damaged and would never be able to have a normal relationship.

I didn't know how long I sat there before Edward lifted me up in his strong arms and carried me inside. I wanted to push him away, to tell him to just go now, because I was a battle he'd never win. But the selfish part of me couldn't help but take every bit he was willing to give.

He pulled down the covers on my bed and laid me down, taking off my shoes and his own before he crawled in next to me. He didn't say a word; he just pulled me close and held me while I cried.

I must have drifted off at some point because I woke to a rumbling in my stomach. The room was dark, but I couldn't tell what time of day it was with the meager light of the cloudy day coming in from the window.

Edward's arms tightened around me as he kissed the top of my head. "You all right?" he whispered.

I nodded against his chest.

"You wanna talk?"

"No," I said definitively. "She's got some gall, but it's nothing I didn't expect. I'm done dealing with her. It'll be easier to move on this time."

His fingers rubbed soothing circles over my back as he let out a sigh. At the same time, my stomach growled again.

"I never did get to eat my cheese fries," I said, hoping to make light of the situation. I also hadn't had any breakfast since I was nervous about the lunch with Renee.

Edward chuckled along with me. "Yeah, it's pretty late. We should get some dinner."

"Hmm, I know just the thing." I decided that he shouldn't miss his Philadelphia experience this weekend just because of my screwed up life, and I was craving the wiz I had missed out on with my cheese fries. I sat up and ran my fingers through my hair, pulling out some of the tangles. "Are you up for a bit of a walk even though it's cold?"

"Sure, I think a walk would do us good."

I silently agreed with him, knowing the fresh air would help clear my head.

As Edward sat up, I noticed Sandy burrowed into his side. He picked her up as he moved and placed her in the warm spot we had just vacated where she curled up contentedly.

About forty-five minutes later, we arrived at our destination with brightly lit vendors on either side of us.

"Okay, here's the deal. We'll get the same thing from each place and split them so you can try them both," I explained.

Edward smiled and rubbed his gloved hands together, nearly salivating over the smell of Philly cheesesteaks in the cold air. Pat's stood to our left and Geno's was to the right. "Which one first?" he asked.

"It doesn't matter. I'll order though, 'cause you have to do it a certain way."

"Lead the way." He gestured with his hand, so I headed toward the short line outside of Geno's.

A loud voice drew our attention before we hit our destination. "Hey, look who's here!" I looked up and saw Emmett near the order window, so I pulled my knit cap down lower even though we had already been spotted.

As Emmett walked over, I noticed Rosalie placing an order. She turned and smiled at us. "What's going on, guys?" Emmett called out when he reached us.

"Not much, man," Edward said, shaking his hand. "Bella's just giving me the Philly cheesesteak experience."

Emmett scoffed. "You don't want this crap here. Pat's is the good stuff."

"Stop it, Emmett," I interjected with a smile. "We're getting both so he can decide for himself."

"Ah, nice," he said with a nod. "Rosie likes Geno's, but I gotta have Pat's. What's your poison, Bella?"

I smirked. "I'm not telling yet. I don't want to sway his opinion."

We moved forward and Rosalie came back to meet us. "Hey," she greeted, holding her cheesesteak. "We have to go across the street to get Emmett's food, but you wanna join us to eat? His house is not far."

It was bad enough that Edward and I were seen outside of work together. Then he went ahead and agreed to hang out with Rosalie and Emmett. "Sure, that sounds great."

I forced a smile as we moved up in line again. "We'll meet you over at Pat's because we need to order there also," I said.

"Sounds good." Emmett smiled widely. "Time to get the good grub!"

They walked off just before we reached the order window. "One wiz wit," I ordered.

"Was that even English?" Edward asked, laughing, as we moved to the next window. He quickly paid, and I had long since stopped arguing with him over it.

"It tells them the kind of cheese and 'wit' means 'with onions.'" I explained.

"_What_ is that?" I followed his wide eyes to where the orange goop was being poured over our steak sandwich.

"That's wiz," I said simply. He raised an eyebrow. "Cheez Whiz. That's the kind of cheese you get on a true Philly cheesesteak."

We stepped to the last window and I took our wrapped sandwich from the young guy. "Can't you get like American or Provolone or something?"

I shook my head in disbelief as we started to walk across the street. "You can, but trust me. It's gotta be Whiz."

Emmett was just picking up his order when we got to Pat's, and ours didn't take long. Once we had all our food, Emmett started leading the way to his house.

"I'm just over in Washington Square," he said, wrapping his arm around Rosalie. "Only about a ten minute walk."

Edward had both cheesesteaks in a bag in one hand, and he caught my other hand as we followed behind. "So, you two are dating?" Edward asked.

"Are you?" Emmett retorted, looking at us over his shoulder with a raised eyebrow and a smirk.

"Touché," was Edward's response, and I relaxed a bit, feeling like we had an unspoken agreement between the four of us.

Emmett's house was in a trendy, up and coming neighborhood with cafes and shops lining the streets. It was an old house, as most in the city were, but it looked like he had made some recent upgrades. Blue shutters stood bright against the brick façade, and a wrought iron railing led the way up three steps to the front door. I immediately recognized the difference in our positions at work. Even though I lived simply, I would never be able to afford even a small house like his in the city. Underwriters were paid much better than me and typically received bonuses when production was good.

He led us into the dining area off of a tiny kitchen and offered beers while Rosalie took our coats, clearly feeling at home in Emmett's space. Once we were all seated around the table, we began unwrapping our steak sandwiches. I took half from each of mine and Edward's and switched them so we'd get to try both of them.

"Cheers," Emmett said, reaching his beer bottle to the middle of the table. We all toasted with our drinks and then dug in to the food.

"I'm still a little scared of this wiz stuff," Edward mumbled, but he lifted the cheesesteak to his mouth and took a large bite.

"It won't kill ya," Rosalie promised. "Although I wouldn't suggest eating it on a regular basis."

"Good to know," Edward responded around a mouthful of food. His eyebrows lifted as he chewed. "This is pretty good."

Emmett stood slightly and eyed the two halves on Edward's wrapper. "Which one is that?"

"Leave him alone," Rosalie said, slapping his arm and forcing him to sit back down. "Just let him try them both first."

Edward put that half down and took a swig of his beer, making a show of swishing it around his mouth before he swallowed. "Next up in the great Philadelphia taste test," he announced, lifting the second half up and noting the differences. "The steak is more chopped in this one."

Before Emmett could speak, Rosalie had slapped a hand over his mouth and gave him a raised eyebrow. Properly chastised, he zipped his lips and watched Edward take his next bite.

Edward nodded and hummed, and I watched with a smile on my face as I ate some of my own cheesesteak. "I'm leaning toward this one," Edward said, gesturing to the sandwich still in his hand, "but I think I need a little more to go on."

"Yes!" Emmett shouted with a fist pump. While Edward went back to the first sandwich, Emmett turned to me. "It's two to one now. Your vote either ties it up or shows the true King of Steaks, Bella."

"Well, assuming Edward doesn't change his mind," I said as I watched Edward go back and forth between the two, "Pat's King of Steaks remains the king by a vote of three to one."

"I told ya, babe," Emmett gloated. "You're the only one who likes Geno's."

Rosalie scoffed. "More for me, then. Hand it over, Bella!" I jokingly handed her the half from Geno's that I hadn't touched, and she made a show of hoarding them all in front of her with her arms around the food.

"Yep, definitely this one," Edward said, pointing to the Pat's half. "Although this one's not bad. I'm sure I can choke it down too."

We ended up spending the rest of the evening at Emmett's house, hanging out, listening to music and chatting. As much as I hated the idea of being comfortable with Edward in front of them, ultimately it felt good to be able to relax with someone other than Jasper and Alice. Edward maintained our connection for the majority of the night, either holding my hand, putting an arm around me or having my feet in his lap, and I had to admit I liked it … much more than I should have.

* * *

**A/N: Confession time … I grew up in Philly but have never had a cheesesteak from Pat's or Geno's. In fact, I've never had a Philly cheesesteak at all because I don't eat steak meat. However, I would put wiz on pretty much anything. Please don't try to give me cheese fries with melted provolone on top of them. It's just wrong!**

**I should also mention that most of the people I spoke to about Pat's and Geno's said they didn't like either of them. Most Philadelphia natives prefer the not-so-famous local shops, with Pat's and Geno's being more of a tourist attraction than a place the locals frequent.**

**A teaser for the next chapter will post on Facebook. See you on Thursday!**


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

It always seemed like time would purposely speed up when I wanted it to slow down. That's how the week following my dreadful lunch with Renee felt. It was two days before Christmas, and I was alone in my apartment.

The knock on my door startled me out of a daydream, and for a second my heart was in my throat thinking Edward had come back to me. I pushed the thought aside, knowing he was already in the air on his way across the country to visit his mother. I hadn't even driven him to the airport since he had discovered the wonders of the Regional Rail. The train ran every half hour from Suburban Station, which was only a few blocks from our apartment building, and went right into the airport.

I got up to answer the door and was surprised to see Alice on the other side.

"Hey," I greeted with a smile. "Come on in."

She stepped through the door, and I closed it behind her. Just as I turned around to ask why she was here, Sandy darted out of the hallway and into the living room. She skidded to a stop in front of Alice and hissed with her back arched and her tail straight up.

"Scram, you little beast!" Alice yelled, pushing Sandy away with her foot. "Honestly, Bella, I don't know how you put up with her."

I chuckled lightly. Of the few people I had at my apartment, Sandy's reaction to Alice was always the worst. She didn't particularly like anyone—except Edward—but it seemed like she and Alice had some kind of contest going to see who could be the biggest bitch.

"She's not like that with me," I said with a shrug, watching Sandy prance back down the hall to the bedroom.

Alice huffed and began to open the large buttons on her coat. "Anyway," she started, "I came over to share some news."

"Oh? What's that?" I took her coat and hung it in the small closet. When I turned around, she was removing her gloves. It only took a second to spot the shiny reason for her visit. "Alice! Oh my God! When did this happen?" I grabbed her hand and admired the diamond ring adorning her left ring finger.

She smiled widely and jumped up and down, waving her gloves around in her right hand. "Just last night," she said when she finally calmed down. "He said he didn't want it to be a Christmas present, so he wanted to ask before the holiday."

"I'm so happy for you and Jasper." I hugged her tightly and then led her to the couch. I truly was happy for her, but I couldn't help the twinge of disappointment I felt knowing that I'd never have what they had. Pushing the thought to the back of my mind, I said, "So, tell me all about it. I want every last detail."

Alice proceeded to excitedly tell me that Jasper had asked her to come to the bar at ten o'clock last night and how it was empty when she arrived. He had apparently closed it early for the special occasion. He arranged a bottle of wine, some candles and a basket of chili cheese fries on a table, and I had to laugh at how _them_ the scene was. Jasper certainly knew what Alice liked.

She explained that he just couldn't wait, so as soon as she was seated at the table, he got down on one knee and asked her to marry him. "And of course, I said yes," she ended with a sigh.

"Are you two finally going to move in together, or are you going to keep making that boy wait until the wedding?"

"I told him I'd move in soon. I've been spending most of my time there lately anyway," she answered, shrugging her shoulders. I never understood her reluctance to take that step—she wasn't me, after all. They had been dating for almost two years, and poor Jasper had asked her a million times to move in.

I made us some sandwiches for lunch while we continued to chat. Alice informed me I would be her maid of honor, not giving me much choice in the matter, not that I would have declined. They both wanted a small wedding and didn't want to wait too long, so if they could swing it, they'd be getting married in the spring or early summer.

"Well, that oughta keep us busy for the next few months," I finally said. If I knew Alice, my maid of honor duties would be vast, but they'd be very specific.

We spoke about wedding details for a while before Alice decided it was time to get on my case. "So, Edward's gone for the next few days?" she asked with a raised eyebrow.

I lifted a shoulder. "His flight was scheduled to leave early this morning. I haven't heard from him, so I assume he's gone."

She gave me a pointed look. "And why didn't you go with him?"

My mouth opened and closed a few times, but words escaped me. He had asked me to join him a few more times over the last week, but never as forcefully as the first time, and he seemed resigned to my answer before I uttered it. I finally spluttered, "How did you know about that?"

"He talks to Jasper." She leaned back against the arm of the couch and tilted her head. "I really don't know why you won't even give him a chance." She held up her hand before I could say anything. "I know all about your issues, but you're gonna have to take a chance at some point."

My immediate reaction was anger, and I could feel the heat flooding my face. "When Jasper was busy sharing Edward's gossip like an old biddy, did he happen to mention my lovely lunch with _Renee_?" I spat. I nodded once at her open-mouth, wide-eyed expression. I'd been too busy spending all my spare time with Edward over the last week to talk to Alice about that, and I knew Edward would never have betrayed my trust. "That's what I thought. Don't presume you know the whole situation."

"What happened?" She looked properly chagrinned.

"Oh, she just called out of the blue wanting to meet for lunch," I said nonchalantly. "Edward convinced me to hear her out, and frankly I'm glad I did. It showed me once and for all that a leopard doesn't change its spots."

"Oh God, what did she do?"

"Her husband tossed her aside and left her with nothing after he found out about her affair, so she asked me for money. She actually thought she deserved some of what my dad left to me." I shook my head at the memory. "Anyway, I'm done with her, but now more than ever, I'm not willing to put myself in a place to get my heart trampled on again."

"But, Bella"—she reached for my hand—"you can't let her rule your life. I understand writing her off—I would never disagree with that—but don't you see? You're letting her win."

"It's not just her, Alice, and you know it." I snatched my hand back and stood. "I'm not willing to be hurt again, and if I let myself get close to Edward, that's exactly what'll happen."

"How do you know that?"

I narrowed my eyes and cocked my head at her, trying to figure out what she didn't understand. "He's leaving in less than three months. That's a given. Why in the world would I want to let emotions get involved?"

She stood in challenge with her hands on her hips. "I don't know, maybe because they already are? A lot can happen in three months."

"Which is exactly why I need to distance myself from him even more. These next few days without him will be good for me." I gave a sharp nod, not sure which one of us I was trying to convince more.

"I think you're making a big mistake."

"Duly noted," I said. "Now, I'm done with this conversation. If you bring it up again, I'm going to drop Sandy in your lap and let her have at you."

I tried to keep a straight face, but Alice's laughter bubbled out of her, causing my own to follow. It wasn't the first time we'd fought over the way I lived my life, and it wouldn't be the last, but at least I could always count on my best friend.

Christmas morning found me alone in my apartment, which was nothing new. I had been invited to go to Alice's parents' house with her and Jasper as I had been in previous years, but I politely declined once again. The one time I went was much more uncomfortable than spending the day alone. Her parents were Society Hill snobs, and they made it clear that they looked down on the small town girl who was making her own way in the world.

This year was sure to be worse than any other with Alice announcing her engagement to Jasper, so I thought it best to stay out of that shit storm. Jasper was a smart man by most people's standards, having graduated from Wharton at the University of Pennsylvania, but the Brandons didn't approve of what he did with that degree. Sure, he could have gotten a job at any number of large corporations in the city, but instead he pursued his dream of owning his own business. The fact that his bar was so successful didn't matter to the uptight socialites. It was still a bar.

I decided it was as good a time as any to finally go through the box that was still sitting on the floor of my closet. Now that I was sure I was through with Renee once and for all, I could get rid of some of those reminders of the past.

Sandy climbed on my lap as I sat with my legs crossed on the floor and the box in front of me. I opened it up and took a deep breath, letting it out slowly as I picked up the item on top. It was one of the wrapped picture frames. Everything had been wrapped so thoroughly that I couldn't tell what was inside the frame. I carefully began to peel away the layers of plastic wrap and felt the burning in my eyes as the picture came into focus.

My father held a large flounder on a hook in one hand and had the other arm wrapped around my six-year-old shoulders. It was one of the few family trips we took, and I remembered my dad being so happy that I wanted to go fishing with him. Of course, he had done most of the fishing while I had sat in the boat and asked him a million questions, but he hadn't minded and answered each one as if it were the most important thing in the world.

Renee, on the other hand, had gone to the casinos or the shops in Atlantic City while Dad and I were out on the chartered boat. She had claimed she would get seasick, but I didn't know how she would have known that since I didn't remember a time where she'd tried being on a boat. Looking back on it, I realized it was just one of many excuses for her to have time to herself and not have the responsibility of the family she clearly didn't want.

After contemplating the picture for a few minutes, I decided I would keep it since Renee had no part in that picture at all. It had been taken by another passenger on the boat, so there was no happy mother standing behind the camera. It may not end up in a place of pride in my apartment since memories of my father still hurt, but the only thing he ever did wrong was love Renee in the first place. I couldn't blame him for the depression taking over after she left, even if the way his life ended hurt me more than Renee leaving.

Setting the frame aside, I continued to look through the box. Anything related to happy times with Renee got shoved into the black trash bag since I now realized those times were fake. Renee had taken me out of Gap any chance she got, but it had been more for her selfish need to escape than it was for my benefit. There were ticket stubs from train rides, playbills from shows I hadn't enjoyed and even a picture of us having pedicures together—another thing that had been her style, not mine. It was all thrown haphazardly into the trash.

Around lunchtime, my phone buzzed from its place on my nightstand. Thinking it was Alice letting me know how World War III had gone, I jumped up to read the text.

"_Look in the drawer underneath the TV. – E"_

I was surprised to see the message from Edward, and even more surprised he was implying he left a gift for me. I responded quickly.

"_What did you do?"_

"_Just go look."_

I huffed and left the bedroom, Sandy hot on my heels as I walked over to the entertainment center in the living room. She meowed at me as I squatted in front of the drawer, so I scratched her head and let her rub up against me. After a minute of my stalling, she meowed again and bumped her head up against the drawer.

"Jeez, did he put you up to this?" I asked rhetorically. "Okay, I'm opening it."

Inside the deep drawer, sitting next to a stack of DVDs, was a wrapped gift. I lifted the cube with trepidation, concern flooding my body and mind that Edward had gotten me something inappropriate. I turned the heavy box over in my hands and chastised myself. It clearly wasn't jewelry or lingerie, so I sat back with the gift in my lap and began to open it.

A smile touched the corners of my mouth as soon as I tore the first piece of paper from the package. The iconic picture of my favorite vampire series was peeking out at me. I ripped the rest of the paper off and tossed it aside, smiling wider at the boxed set of hardback books.

I remembered a conversation Edward and I had had about the pros and cons of real books versus electronic.

"_I love the feel of a real book in my hands," I said. "Unfortunately, it's not exactly feasible to buy every book since I read so much."_

"_Why not go to the library?" he asked. "Then you don't have to pay for them."_

"_I do sometimes, but usually I stick with the convenience of e-books." I shrugged. "If I really like something I've read, I may go out and buy myself a physical copy of it later on."_

The thoughtfulness of the gift was not lost on me. He had not only remembered that I liked real books, but he also remembered which ones I hadn't bought for myself yet. At the same time, it wasn't some romantic gift that would have me running for the hills. And that, in and of itself, had me more scared than anything else. Edward knew enough about me to know just how far he could push.

I sent him a quick text to thank him for the gift.

"_You're welcome. Merry Christmas, Bella,"_ he responded.

"_Merry Christmas. See you in a few days."_

I knew what I was going to have to do when Edward returned. Things were going to have to go back to how they were when we first started this arrangement. No more weekend trips or time spent lounging around one of our apartments. Definitely no more _sleeping_ together. He wasn't going to like it, but I had to protect myself.

He may have had good intentions, but at the end of the day, he'd still be leaving, just like everyone else.

* * *

**A/N: I'm glad so many of you have been enjoying the little tastes of Philadelphia I've been throwing in. A lot of you want to know what's going through Edward's mind. Of course, that would ruin the rest of the story, which is why it's not included. Yes, he's pushing Bella bit by bit, but we all know what a stubborn, broken woman she is. She hasn't had something good in her life in a long time.**

**Don't forget to sign up for Project Team Beta's 2014 Smut University!**

**See you on Monday.**


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

Knowing I didn't have anywhere to go or anything to do, I didn't take any extra vacation days around Christmas. I enjoyed the quiet of the long weekend, and then I went back to work and used the time to catch up on some things I'd had to postpone while working with Edward.

After a full day of work on Wednesday, I spent the quiet evening straightening up my apartment. My box of memories was now in the trash, and the few things I kept were put away somewhere. There were no more reminders of Renee in my place, but I allowed the memory of my father to linger.

He had always been such a strong man. Invincible, I had thought as a young child, with his dark hair, bushy mustache and prominent muscles. It amazed me that it wasn't a bullet in the line of duty that finally took him down, but a broken heart instead. I was more determined than ever to not let that happen to me.

I was putting a few books I had been reading back on the bookshelf in the living room when Sandy leapt from her perch on the arm of the couch and ran to the door. A second later, the familiar knock sounded. I smiled at first, happy to know Edward was back and that he had come over to see me so quickly, but then I reminded myself of how things would need to be from here on out.

With an expressionless face, I opened the door. My breath left my lungs with a whoosh as I took in Edward's disheveled but handsome appearance. His jacket hung open, showing an untucked shirt and baggy jeans, and his hand was running through his hair. A wry, crooked grin spread slowly across his face when he looked at me, and his hand dropped to his side.

"Hi," he said quietly.

"Hi."

"I'm not interrupting anything, am I?" he asked.

"No … sorry. Come on in." I stepped back from the door and let him enter, dragging his rolling suitcase behind him.

"Thanks." He pushed the handle of the suitcase down and hung his coat over it before turning back to look at me again. "You sure are a sight for sore eyes."

"Long flight?"

"Yeah, but I'm glad to be back." Sandy curled in and out of his legs, and he looked down at her and chuckled.

"Oh? Didn't you have a nice visit?"

He sighed and shrugged. "It was good. Spent a lot of time with my mom, but that's about it."

I realized we were still standing awkwardly in the entryway but couldn't bring myself to offer him a drink or a seat. I bit my lip and shuffled my feet, wondering what should come next while Sandy purred loudly from her spot against his leg.

Edward didn't keep me waiting too long. He reached forward and pulled me to him by my waist, bending down to kiss me slowly. "I missed you," he whispered between kisses.

I stiffened slightly, but Edward deepened the kiss without hesitation, sucking on my bottom lip before tangling his tongue with mine. It didn't take long before my body responded to his, and I melted into him as my resolve started to slip away.

_Just sex,_ I reminded myself. I could do just sex. I had about two and a half months left to enjoy the physical aspect while distancing my heart, which had continued to become involved without my knowledge or permission.

My hands drifted between our bodies, ghosting over his wrinkled shirt and feeling the definition of muscle beneath the fabric. He grabbed my right hand as it ascended, pressing it firmly to his chest just above his left pec. I swallowed hard as his kisses moved to my neck, my palm feeling the racing beat of his heart while my mind struggled to keep up with what was going on.

After a moment, he let my hand go. "You have no idea the things I've been thinking about doing to you," he said between kisses to my neck.

When I still didn't respond verbally, Edward took the initiative to lift me up and carry me to the bedroom, setting me down gently on the edge of the bed and standing above me. I expected the frantic coupling that had become nearly standard between us lately, especially given the recent absence, but that was not the way it happened.

Edward took time and care as he removed each article of my clothing. He kissed every inch of my skin as if he'd never tasted it before. His large hands massaged and rubbed, teasing my skin and muscles into submission. By the time he pushed inside of me, I was way beyond want and need. It was completion—the feeling of our bodies joined together so perfectly, moving in tandem, reading each other's reactions—and it was something I had never felt before him.

I let go and let myself enjoy it, knowing my time was limited. No matter what I did at this point, it was going to hurt when Edward left.

The following two days at work were much the same as those before Edward had gone home. We barely saw each other while working on separate aspects of our project, and our communication was limited to instant messages using the company's internal system and Edward's dirty texts during lunch.

I had been successful at distancing myself the night before, only stopping by Edward's apartment when it had become late enough that it would be acceptable to leave right after we had sex. But Edward was persistent, evidenced by the text message he sent me on Friday afternoon.

"_What are we doing this weekend and for NYE?"_

I hadn't even thought about the idea of going out for New Year's Eve, so I responded in kind, hoping my lack of planning would get me out of making any actual plans.

His reply was quick, as if he had been waiting for me to decline going out. _"Em and Rose asked if we want to hang out."_

I huffed and rolled my eyes. It would be difficult for me to turn down the invitation without giving Edward a reason and without hurting Emmett and Rose's feelings. They craved the company of people they could be open with, and I knew that feeling all too well. Jasper was having a party at the bar, and Edward knew about it, but I was pretty sure he'd rather go to Emmett's house than risk me pushing him away if someone were to see us out in public together.

I reluctantly accepted the invitation and found myself dressing more conservatively than usual for New Year's Eve, hoping to keep Edward's advances to a minimum. I wore a plain white T-shirt under a blue V-neck sweater, along with dark jeans and my well-worn Doc Marten boots. It unfortunately had the opposite of my intended effect when he arrived to pick me up.

"I love this color against your skin," Edward murmured as he traced the edge of the sweater until his finger reached the white shirt peeking out of the top. The green of his eyes was dark and hungry as he followed the trial, licking his lips lightly.

"We should go." I took a step back as Sandy meowed at Edward's feet. He smiled and picked her up while I went to grab the bottle of tequila and bag of limes I had bought for the occasion.

Edward cuddled Sandy to his chest for a minute before we made our way out and caught a cab to Emmett's house. Rosalie answered the door with a huge smile, something I wasn't used to seeing on her normally stoic face. She took our coats while Emmett greeted us by handing us beers.

"Great to see you guys," Emmett bellowed. "Glad you could make it."

We exchanged hugs and handshakes before I followed Rose into the kitchen, intent on cutting the limes so we could enjoy some shots, but she shooed me away.

"I'll take care of it," she said, pulling a knife from the block next to the stove.

I shrugged and took a sip of my beer, leaning back against the counter close to where she was working. "I'll hang here while you work then."

She hummed a little tune while slicing up the first lime, and it dawned on me that I had never seen her so relaxed and happy. I dragged my fingers through the condensation on my beer bottle with a small smile. "Being with Emmett agrees with you," I noted out loud.

She stopped cutting and turned to me with a smirk and a nod. "It does."

"Do you mind if I ask …" I started but hesitated with the rest of my question.

"Go ahead. I don't mind." She resumed cutting and didn't look at me, which made spitting the question out a little easier.

"Why don't you guys want anyone to know that you're together?"

Rose gave a wry chuckle. "That's what you're worried about asking me?" I caught the lift of her cheek out of the corner of my eye as she continued to work. "It's not like our families don't know. Really, it's just at work."

"But you don't report to each other. You don't even report to the same manager."

"No, you're right," she said, scooping the lime slices with her hands and dropping them in a bowl. "It's not that we're breaking any rules or anything." She put the bowl in the refrigerator and then went to the sink to wash her hands. "Underwriters are competitive by nature, and we don't want to make any waves with people thinking he's referring more business to me or the other way around. That definitely _could_ happen, but we make it a point to be fair about referrals." She shrugged as she dried off her hands.

"I guess I can understand that," I conceded. "But if you're making a point to be fair, then what's the big deal?"

"It's all in the perception." She took a big swig of her beer and indicated with her head that we should join the boys in the other room. "One of us could lose referrals from other people if they get the wrong idea."

Emmett and Edward were laughing at something when we made our way into the living room. Edward was seated on the couch, so I took the spot next to him and sat on the edge, still not totally comfortable being with him in front of other people. I watched as Emmett grabbed Rose's hips and pulled her onto his lap in the recliner. She let out a squeal but didn't seem displeased in any way. In fact, the hand not holding her beer went right for his neck as she kissed him on the cheek.

My body was tight with envy watching their easy interaction, so I turned my focus to whatever show was playing quietly on the TV.

"Oh, I meant to ask you," Emmett said, pointing his beer in Edward's direction. "Think you can help us move in a few weeks?"

"You're selling the house?" I blurted, surprised that he'd give up the kind of amazing place I could only ever dream of owning.

Emmett chuckled. "Nah. Rosie's moving in. We have to have her apartment cleaned out by the end of January."

Another twinge of longing ran through me.

"Tell me when and I'll be there," Edward offered.

"I still hate that work's gonna know," Rose said with a scrunched up face.

My brows furrowed. "What do you mean?"

"Well, once I change my address, I assume the cat'll be out of the bag."

I took a quick sip of my beer and shook my head. "Actually, no one will know unless you tell them," I corrected. "Address changes go through the corporate HR system. It's not even something that gets seen in our office. Even when Shelly processes payroll, she has no reason to notice a new address on someone's check unless it's pointed out to her."

"That's good to know," Edward said cryptically.

Rose smiled and then laughed. "Shit, they wouldn't even know if we got married."

I cringed, for my own benefit and for Emmett's as I expected him to shy away from that kind of talk. Instead, his smile was wide, showing both dimples and all of his teeth.

"I'll keep that in mind, baby," he said, squeezing Rose around her waist.

We eventually had some shots in celebration as we waited for the ball to drop on TV, poking fun at the crowd gathered in New York City. Emmett decided every time someone in the crowd kissed for the cameras, we had to do another shot. My vision was doubled well before midnight, the room swaying slightly whenever I tried to focus on something.

Yet, even with all of the alcohol flowing through my system, I couldn't seem to loosen up. I never let Edward get too close, and I shied away from all of his attempts at intimacy. Unfortunately, my verbal filter was very loose by the time he pulled me into another room and confronted me.

"You gonna tell me what's wrong?"

I leaned up against the wall to get some distance as well as to help me stay upright. "What are you talking about?" I was sure playing dumb would work.

"I'm talking about why you won't even let me touch you." To prove his point, he raised his hand to cup my cheek, and I flinched away before he could make contact.

"I never let you touch me in public," I tried, happy that my mind was coherent enough to remember that fact.

His eyes narrowed at me, or maybe mine narrowed at him. "We're not in public."

"You're getting too close, okay?" I yelled. I gulped, but I couldn't stop the rest of the words from tumbling out. "You're just going to leave, and I can't be close. I need space." I stepped to the side to show I meant physical space, but the alcohol left me stumbling and swaying until Edward caught me.

He pulled me to his chest, and my drunk body couldn't protest at first. I allowed myself to be wrapped in his embrace while my head swam and my heart sank.

When my eyes began to burn and water, I pushed at Edward's chest. He thwarted my feeble attempt by tightening his arms around me. My fists pounded weakly against him, and as he shushed me and held me tighter, the tears began to fall.

* * *

**A/N: Let me hear your thoughts! I know many of you are frustrated with Bella continually pushing Edward away, but that is the nature of her character. It's not going to change in an instant. We're getting there though.**

**Don't forget to sign up for PTB's 2014 Smut University! We're already having fun in the Facebook group. It's going to be a smut-filled summer!**

**See you on Thursday.**


	17. Chapter 17

**NSFW**

**Chapter 17**

The two weeks after my New Year's Eve mini-breakdown passed in the blink of an eye. Edward never mentioned it, and I certainly wasn't going to bring it up. We definitely had issues with communicating with each other, but I was not going to be the one to change that. I had easily played that night off as drunken blubbering, and that was the end of it.

But if I thought Edward was over it and moving on, I'd be a fool. I could tell he was pushing just a little bit more for us to get closer, and each time I would push back. After sex, he'd hold on to me when I'd get up to leave. He'd tell me he just needed a few minutes, although he never said if he needed those minutes to hold me or if he needed them to be ready to go again. At first, I humored him because, let's face it, if Edward Masen was offering you more orgasms, you took them. But when five minutes turned into ten and then thirty, the picture was pretty clear.

So I'd leave and he'd pout.

The one time he came to my apartment wasn't much better.

"Fuck, yeah … just like that," Edward panted out as my mouth surrounded his dick and my head bobbed. He immediately pulled my pussy back down to his mouth and started licking.

I moaned around him from the feel of his tongue on my clit, and he twitched in my mouth. I could tell it wouldn't be long before he came. Wanting to get there with him, I shifted back so the pressure of his mouth increased. He sucked hard, I fluttered, and he pushed two fingers inside of me. After only a few pumps of his hand, I was lost in ecstasy.

I did my best to continue sucking him off through my orgasm, but it was the involuntary squeeze of my hand that finally set him off. He came in several streams down the back of my throat, moaning my name while I swallowed around him.

My body gave out and I rolled to the side, panting for breath as I enjoyed the last few flutters coursing through me. Edward flipped around so we were face to face and kissed me deeply.

"Wanna take a shower?" he asked quietly.

I glanced at the clock and figured it was late enough that I could use sleep as an excuse. "Nah, I'm just gonna get some sleep. You should probably get going."

He rolled onto his back, head nearly hanging off the foot of the bed, just as Sandy jumped up to scope out the situation. She didn't hesitate to climb onto her favorite spot—Edward's chest. She curled up with her tail wrapped tightly around her and proceeded to close her eyes.

"Well, it looks like someone doesn't want me to go," he said, petting her back. "Look at all this pretty sand-colored fur. Is that why her name is Sandy?"

"Um, no." I turned so my face was slightly buried in the comforter. "She's named after a character from one of my favorite movies."

"Sandra Dee." I could hear the smirk in his voice. "Maybe we need to get her a little Danny Zuko to keep her company."

I rolled my eyes and slapped his arm. "Don't make fun of me. It's a great movie!"

"Never said it wasn't."

"All right, I need to get to sleep, so you need to go." I didn't know how to go about getting him to leave without telling him point blank.

I got the pout in return. "But Sandy—"

"Will survive without you." I picked her up and moved her to the bed, where she curled right back up, thankfully proving my point.

I didn't invite him over after that. Instead, he'd stop by some mornings claiming he missed Sandy. I saw through that as well. He was using Sandy as an excuse to spend more time with me on the walk to the office since we no longer saw much of each other during the day.

At the end of the day, I'd find him waiting by the HR office to walk home together. A few times I faked excuses of needing to stay late, but most days I'd throw him a bone and walk with him. I figured not too much damage could be done on the short trek.

"So, are you coming over tonight?" Edward asked on a snowy mid-January morning as we headed to work.

"Um, sure." I bit my lip as a sinking feeling rocketed through my body. We never made our plans so early in the day, so I wondered why he was asking already.

"Maybe you can come a little early." And, there it was. He was up to something. I just didn't know what. "I'm gonna make dinner, so six thirty?"

I screwed up my face. "I don't know … I was going to try to get some extra work done tonight. I really have a lot to catch up on."

His hand reached out and opened the door to the office building. I stepped inside, shivering from the temperature change as a blast of heat hit my cold skin. He led me over to our bank of elevators with his hand on my back. It was the gentlest of pressure through my thick winter coat, but I felt it as if he had seared me.

"Just come over," he said quietly, and I looked around to make sure I didn't know anyone waiting for the elevator.

"Fine," I relented, figuring I could make up another excuse or continue to push the work angle later.

The day passed like all the rest. I sat at my desk testing a computerized training program with the updates from Edward's project. I wasn't even sure what he was doing that day, but I didn't bother to ask. He knew where to find me if he needed something.

At five o'clock, I made sure to make myself look extra busy, so when I buzzed Edward in to the HR office, I told him I was buried in work at the moment and I'd just meet him at his apartment at six thirty.

He looked at me for a long moment, those jade eyes able to see through me as always. "Fine," he said somewhat petulantly. "Just don't be late."

"I'll be there," I assured him, forcing a smile on my face.

Even though there was no one else in the area, he knew better than to try to kiss me goodbye. Still, he looked like he was restraining himself from doing it. He took his time putting his gloves on, but eventually turned and walked out without another word.

It felt like he was taking a piece of my heart with him.

I had to do everything in my power to postpone the evening, because that sinking feeling I'd had earlier in the day just wouldn't leave me alone. I rubbed a hand absentmindedly over my chest as a phantom ache grew deep inside.

I'd been pushing Edward away so hard lately, but he never stopped pushing back. For the first time, I wondered what that might mean. If he knew he was leaving, why would he bother? Why was he even wasting time on such a hopeless cause?

I shoved those thoughts aside and turned back to my computer, intent on at least getting a little work done while I was here. I forced myself to focus on the work and leave everything else behind. I didn't want to have to deal with whatever Edward had in store for tonight, so when my phone buzzed at precisely six thirty-one, I sighed and swiped my finger to the left over the screen to ignore the call.

I was working, like I said I was going to be. At least it wasn't a lie.

At seven o'clock, I finally shut down my laptop and packed it away before walking back to The Regency at a leisurely pace. I stopped in my apartment to drop off my bag and feed Sandy, who gave me a little bit of cattitude for being late with her dinner. She walked away from me with her tail in the air and left the fresh food untouched.

With a sigh, I realized I couldn't put off the inevitable any longer. I grabbed my keys and made my way to the other end of the hall at seven thirty, figuring an hour late wasn't too bad.

I knocked on the door and heard nothing for a moment. Then Edward's voice called out, sounding tired even through the barrier between us.

"It's open."

I walked in and closed the door behind me, dropping my keys on the end table near the door. "Sorry I'm late," I said airily. "I just got caught up in some stuff I've been neglecting for a while."

When I finally looked over to the couch, Edward was sitting with his elbows on his knees and his head hanging low. It took me a minute to notice the table that was already set nicely, with food on the plates and wine in the glasses. Soft music was also filling the air.

"You couldn't even answer your phone?" I could hear the anger in Edward's voice, and it made me flinch.

"What's all this?" I asked instead of answering, waving my hand in the direction of the table.

He didn't even look up as he spoke. "It doesn't matter now. It's cold, and it's ruined."

"I'm—" I shut my mouth abruptly, not even sure what I wanted to say. He'd obviously gone to a lot of trouble, and I wanted to apologize—but was I really sorry? This was the exact thing I had been trying to avoid.

"Save it. This is just like you, Bella." He finally looked up at me, and in his eyes I could see beyond the anger. I could see the hurt.

I did that to him, and it cut me deep to realize it.

"Edward …" I tried again, still unsure of what was going on or how to fix it. I'd obviously messed up, but the flip side would have been an evening I didn't want. I was screwed either way. It was clear there was no way to make us both happy in this situation. So I did what I needed to do. "You know I don't want this." It was nearly a whisper.

His eyes narrowed at me, but he still didn't move from the couch. "You don't even know what _this_ is. But message received, loud and clear." He laughed once coldly. "I don't know why I thought …" he muttered, shaking his head, but he never told me exactly what he thought.

"Why did you do this?" My voice was meek, but at this point, I had to know.

"I told you, it doesn't matter. Sometimes I really wonder about you, Bella. For someone who seems to be so smart, you really are incredibly blind."

"What do you—"

The ringing of his phone cut off my question. Without another glance at me, Edward got up and retrieved the phone from the kitchen.

"Hello?" He began walking back toward the living room but stopped dead in his tracks. "When? How bad is she?" I watched in horror as the color drained from his face. "I'll be there as soon as I can … Yes, I know … Okay, call me if there's any change, and I'll call you when I have an idea of when I'll be there."

He ended the call, and the phone slipped from his fingers and landed on the carpet with a soft thump as his hands went up to the top of his head, grabbing fistfuls of hair and tugging.

"Edward, what is it?"

My words seemed to snap him out of his trance. He looked at me briefly and then started walking across the room. "My mom's been in a car accident," he muttered.

Quickly moving toward him, I put my hand on his arm, but he shook it off. "What can I do?"

"Oh, I think you've done enough for one night." The bitterness seeped out of him.

"Edward, just let me help," I pleaded. If it was as bad as it sounded from his end of the conversation, he probably wasn't thinking straight.

"You need to go." There was no emotion left in his voice. His eyes swept the apartment but didn't land on any one thing.

"No. Let me at least book you a flight. You can go pack some things."

"_No!_" he shouted with another shake of his arm to dislodge my hand.

I tried not to take offense at his tone. My hands were shaking as I approached him once more, but he pinned me in place with a look that was pure fury.

"Edward, please," I said quietly.

"I said, you need to go," he said through gritted teeth.

"But—"

"Get out!"

I jumped, having never seen him like this before, but I chalked it up to the emotional rollercoaster he was currently on. My mouth opened, but he spoke again before I could form any words.

"Don't you get it? I don't want you here. I don't want your help. It's over. You don't have to worry about pushing me away anymore because I'm _walking_ away. Now _get out!_"

The tears threatened, and I did nothing to try to stop them. I was sure he didn't mean what he was saying. Edward wasn't the kind of guy to give up, not even on me, right? But when he walked over to the door and opened it, tapping his foot while waiting, I had no choice but to accept that he needed the space.

There were wet tracks down my cheeks by the time I got to the door. I swiped my keys from the table and turned to look at Edward one more time, hoping he would change his mind. The look of anger remained, and there was nothing I could do to get rid of it in that moment.

"Goodbye, Bella," he said sarcastically when I lingered in the doorway.

I stepped through and turned around, but the door closed too quickly for him to hear my whispered goodbye. The slam echoed through the hallway and my head, and I had a feeling that door was finally closed for good.

* * *

**A/N: So, yeah … have a good weekend! :P**

**I am going to try to post the teaser on Facebook early—possibly in a few hours—because I won't be able to post it over the weekend.**

**There's still time to sign up for PTB's 2014 Smut University. We're already having tons of fun in the Facebook group. PM me if you have any questions.**

**See you on Monday!**


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18**

The feel of Sandy pouncing onto my lap broke me from the momentary stupor, and I found myself sitting on the couch in my apartment with no recollection of the walk down the hall or unlocking my door. My cheeks were still wet, but each time I wiped them, more tears appeared. Sandy meowed at me and pushed her little head into my sternum. I sat for a few minutes and pet her, surprised that she wasn't still pissed off at me too.

I took a long look around my apartment as my hand continued to scratch my cat, realizing I had never felt so alone. The walls were bare with no family portraits. Minimal furnishings sat in the space, and there were no knickknacks or souvenirs from vacations or day trips. No, the only souvenir I had still sat in my other hand. I looked down to the keys, my fingers rubbing across the leopard keychain Edward had insisted on buying me at the end of our first trip together.

I wondered briefly if he'd keep his but then quickly decided that he had probably already removed it. No need for a reminder of someone who had hurt you so badly. I was determined to keep mine as a reminder of the pain I caused him. I should suffer for what I did to such a wonderful man.

Eventually I got up, needing to _do_ something instead of just sitting there. I blew my nose and splashed some water on my face, though I was sure the tears were going to continue for a while.

There wasn't any way for me to help Edward at that moment, but I had a need to at least know what was going on with him. I grabbed my laptop from my briefcase by the sofa and powered it up. My fingers drummed against the keys as I waited what seemed like an eternity for it to be ready to go. Sandy came and sat down beside me, curling up against my thigh and the heat the computer was throwing off. At least I had her silent support.

A quick internet search showed there was a nonstop flight from Philadelphia to Seattle leaving at eleven thirty. I was sure Edward would be on it. He would arrive around two thirty local time, but from there I was lost.

I had no idea if he would have to drive to Forks, the small town he lived in with his mother which was about four hours away from Seattle. Did they even have a hospital in Forks, or was she taken somewhere else? Was the accident bad enough to warrant her being flown elsewhere? And if so, what would the closest trauma center be?

I slammed the lid of the laptop closed in frustration as the tears fell harder. Giving up for the night, I closed up the apartment and crawled into bed even though it was early, curling into a ball in my clothes and letting the tears soak my pillow.

I wasn't sure if I slept more than a few minutes here and there all night, but the bags under my eyes and puffiness around them in the morning were a good indication that I hadn't. It took a double dose of caffeine to get me moving, and even then I wasn't in the best state.

My weary body made it into the office only a few minutes late. Before my computer even booted up, I was on the phone.

"Carlisle Cullen's office," Jessica answered. "How may I help you?"

"Hey, Jessica. It's Bella. I need to speak with Carlisle if he's available." Jessica and I still weren't exactly friendly, but I had become much happier with her once she backed off of flirting with Edward about a month ago. I had heard through the grapevine that she actually had a steady boyfriend now.

"Sure thing, Bella. He's just stepped back into his office. I'll put you through."

"Thanks."

"Bella," Carlisle greeted. "I was just getting ready to call you."

"Oh." I blinked. Was something wrong with part of the project? "Um, before we get into whatever you needed, I wanted to let you know that Edward had to fly home unexpectedly."

"Looks like we have the same news then," he said solemnly. "That's why I was going to call. He left me a message last night saying he wasn't sure when or if he'd be back. Did he tell you what was going on? You probably speak to him more than me."

I blinked against the accumulating tears, brought on by the reminder that _if_ Edward came back, we were still through. I wondered briefly how we would even be able to work together.

"Only that there was a car accident involving his mother," I offered.

"Well, I don't have much more than that either, just that it sounded pretty serious. If you speak to him, please let him know that we're all praying for her recovery."

"Yeah." I cleared my throat against the thickness lodged there. "Please tell him the same from me if you hear from him before I do." He didn't need to know how unlikely it was that Edward would call me at this point.

When we ended the call, I let out a big sigh before realizing that Shelly was staring at me. "Everything okay, hon?" she asked, lowering her reading glasses so they dangled from the multi-colored chain around her neck.

I shrugged and blinked again, taking a moment and a deep breath to gather myself. I would not break down in the office. "Edward had to leave town suddenly because his mom was in a car accident."

"Oh my. That poor, sweet boy. I do hope everything's okay."

I stumbled through the day, thankful for all the extra work I had done the night before since I wasn't sure I was accomplishing anything at all.

That night was my first harsh slap of reality. Alice called, wondering if Edward and I were going to Whit's since it had become pretty standard for Friday nights. I told her about the accident and Edward leaving, but she pestered me, knowing something else was wrong. I gave in and told her about the rest of the previous night, how hurt Edward had been and how I still was unable to give him any more of myself. I explained that he was done with me for good.

To her credit, she didn't lecture me. In fact, she didn't comment on it much at all even though I could hear the disappointment in her voice. I was sure she was biting her tongue to keep from saying I had brought this on myself. It was a realization that suddenly was all too clear to me.

I was left to wallow in my own misery in the quiet of my empty apartment. I knew I had done the right thing. It was going to end anyway. The problem was that I thought I had two months left, and my heart wasn't ready to give Edward up. I was sure I would have been able to give him up at the end of his time here because I would have been prepared for it. But now that it had all been ripped away, I didn't know what I was feeling.

Saturday afternoon, I found myself staring out the window in my living room, looking out over the streets of Philadelphia and watching all the happy people going about their happy lives. I had always been on the outside looking in, but somehow it felt more real, harsher this time. Being alone had never bothered me before. I had my best friend, but even that relationship would be taking a hit soon. Alice and Jasper had set a date for the wedding, and I was sure as they settled into married life they wouldn't have much time to deal with their broken friend.

I sighed heavily and turned back to the apartment. Although the only physical reminder I had of Edward was a small keychain, the emotional memories were all around me. Everywhere I looked was a surface we'd had sex on, but beyond that were the long talks on the couch, the shared takeout meals, the more chaste showers where he insisted on taking care of me, the way my cat loved him from the first moment he entered the apartment.

I had to make a decision. I could wallow in the misery of missing him, or I could remember the happy times, of which there were many—times where he made me feel like a normal woman without lasting emotional issues from a life of abandonment.

I was determined to make those happy times my focus. Four months of happiness was worth something, and it was more than I ever thought I'd get in my pathetic existence. It was better than a lifetime alone.

Too bad it was easier said than done.

There was no way I could have prepared myself for the shock I received on Monday morning. The message indicator was flashing on my phone when I got to the office, so I immediately picked up the handset to retrieve the voicemail, hoping beyond hope that Edward was calling with some good news. I should have known better though, because he would have called my cell phone if he really wanted to speak to me.

The voice that greeted me was Carlisle's, and the tone was not a happy one. "Bella, it's Carlisle. Can you call me as soon as you get in? Thanks."

I dialed his extension with a sense of dread, and he picked up after only half a ring.

"Bella?"

"Good morning, Carlisle. I just got your message," I said hesitantly.

I heard a deep sigh from the other end of the phone. "I'm guessing you haven't heard from Edward," he said, to which I indicated I had not. "It seems his mother passed away last night."

"Oh God," I squeaked out. His mother was everything to him. Not only the only family he had left, but from what he told me after Christmas, she was his best friend as well. He didn't keep in touch with any of his friends from home or college, and on more than one occasion he had lamented the fact that it was difficult for him to make friends when he travelled so much.

"I'm sorry to have to be the bearer of such bad news."

"No, I'm glad you let me know." I closed my eyes and ran a hand through my hair, pulling at the roots as I thought about Edward handling this all on his own.

"Yes, well, I wanted to do something for him from the office. Since you know him the best, I was hoping you could make the arrangements. I don't know whether he'd like a donation somewhere or flowers …"

"I'll"—I swallowed hard—"I'll come up with something and let you know."

He sighed again. "Thanks, Bella. I'm sure you understand that he won't be back. It sounded like he'll have his hands full taking care of his mother's estate."

It was like a punch to the gut, knocking all the air from my body. There it was, the confirmation that Edward was gone for good.

I did my best to push my selfishness aside. "Right, of course." It was nearly a whisper through the lump in my throat.

"He said someone else from his company would be contacting you to pick up where he left off."

I nodded then realized Carlisle couldn't see me. "I'll handle things until then." I couldn't even think about that now, about working with someone else besides Edward.

Shelly was staring at me once again when I got off the phone, so I filled her in on the latest news.

"You find out what that boy needs, and we'll do it," she insisted. I couldn't bring myself to tell her it would be easier said than done.

Later that morning, as I was sipping my fourth cup of coffee and wracking my brain for what to do for Edward, I came up with an idea. It was surprisingly easy to locate a listing for the Webbers in Forks, WA. There was only one, so I had hope that I would be reaching the right people.

I dialed the phone with shaky fingers, and it rang three times before a man answered. After explaining to him who I was and my work relationship with Edward, he was extremely helpful. He told me the obituary would run in tomorrow's paper and the funeral announcement would be listed there, but he also mentioned that flowers weren't needed since the service would likely be small.

He suggested instead that donations could be made in Elizabeth Masen's name to the hospital where she was treated for a previous illness. Only from knowing Edward on a personal level did I understand what illness he was referring to. I didn't push for any more information. I just thanked him for his time and left him with my phone number in case he thought of any other way we might be able to help.

After letting Carlisle know my plan, I sent an email to the team Edward and I had been working with, letting them know what had happened and that I would be collecting donations if they wanted to participate.

The response was nearly overwhelming by early afternoon. Carlisle had pledged a significant sum on behalf of himself and Esme, and each team member had also willingly donated along with Shelly and me. The total amount would then be doubled by the company's matching gift program.

Once all the arrangements were made for the donation, there was one more thing I needed to do, and it made me want to vomit from nerves just thinking about it. It would have to wait until I was home though, and I was preparing to leave early when Esme called me in to her office.

The door was barely closed when she started speaking. "How are you doing, dear?" she asked in her mothering tone.

"Well, it took me a little longer than I expected to make the arrangements Carlisle requested, but I'm sure I'll be able to get back on track tomorrow. There's a lot I can do without the help of the consultant—"

She cut me off with a raised eyebrow. "That's not what I was referring to."

"Oh?"

"I know you and Edward have grown rather … close lately." My eyes widened. I hadn't thought anyone knew besides Alice, Emmett and Rosalie. "I was wondering how you're doing with the fact that he's gone."

"I'm fine," I lied smoothly. "I mean, he was going to leave anyway. It's just a little sooner than I expected. I'm more concerned with how he's doing right now." I shrugged a shoulder, as if it were that simple.

"Okay," she said, but I wasn't sure I had her fooled. "You know I'm always here if you want to talk."

I nodded. "Thank you. I appreciate that. If you don't mind, I'm going to take off a little early this afternoon."

"That's fine. Just let me know if you need anything."

My heart was even heavier as I walked home in the bitter cold. It was snowing lightly, not enough to stick, but the dreary, gray weather matched my mood. What had just happened in Esme's office was exactly what I had been trying to avoid all along. I didn't want anyone to know about Edward and me because I didn't want to have to explain what happened when it came to its inevitable end.

I spent several minutes on the couch while Sandy paced back and forth across my lap before I gathered my nerve and picked my cell phone up from the coffee table. It still took more time with Sandy's comforting purr until I was able to pull up Edward's name on my phone.

I hit "send" before I could talk myself out of it.

My teeth dug into my bottom lip painfully as I listened to the ringing from the other end. I was prepared for him to not answer, but not prepared for what I was going to say, figuring off the cuff and honest was my best bet.

His smooth voice in my ear was a welcome relief as I listened to his recorded message, though I froze momentarily when the beep sounded. Gathering my wits, I began speaking. "Hi, Edward … um, it's Bella." I let out a sigh before the words started tumbling out. "I know I'm probably the last person you want to speak to right now, but I had to call. The words 'I'm sorry' or 'she's in a better place' come to mind, but I'm sure you've heard that a million times already, and I'm also sure it hasn't helped a damn bit. Listen, I just wanted you to know I'm here … if you just want to talk or if you want to yell at me … whatever, okay? I know we left things in a pretty shitty place, but I'm here. Call me any time. I guess that's it. Um … I won't keep bothering you. I'll understand if I don't hear from you. But … yeah, that's it."

I ended the call and threw the phone on the couch where it bounced and landed face up. With hands in my hair, I stared at it for a long time, willing it to ring, but the screen went dark and then off. And it stayed that way for the rest of the night.

* * *

**A/N: I know most of you hate Bella after the last chapter … self-fulfilling prophesy and all that. Some of you were sympathetic to her, still pissed but understanding. Yes, she was letting her past rule her future. Let's see if or when she learns from her mistakes. I promise this doesn't drag out too much!**

**Smut U starts up this week! You can still join us for some smutty fun.**

**See you on Thursday!**


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19**

The rest of the days of January were long and repetitive. I went to work, did my job, came home and spent the nights with Sandy. Every day, I willed my phone to ring, and every time it rang my heart would skip a beat. But Edward never called. Not that I really expected him to.

It was the day of the funeral, the Thursday after Edward's mother had passed away, that I got a call from the consultant who was taking over for him.

"This is Tanya Morovski," the woman said in a heavy accent, "from Volturi. Sorry it's taken me so long to get in touch, but I needed to catch up with where Edward left everything."

I couldn't help but wonder if he knew or was friends with this woman. They worked for the same company out of the same office, so it was entirely possible. Had he slept with her? In my mind, I was picturing a voluptuous blonde to go along with her exotic accent, and instantly my jealousy spiked over something that was never mine to begin with.

We talked for a bit over what she needed to do and what I would be working on and came to the conclusion that it could all be handled remotely as long as Tanya and I stayed in contact with each other. She promised that should the need arise she'd make the trip out here.

Tanya turned out to be surprisingly easy to work with, although I sometimes thought it was because Edward had already done all of the hard work. Regardless, life was moving on without him.

At the end of January I found myself carrying boxes from the trunk of Emmett's car into his house. They weren't extremely heavy, but I tripped, causing them to nearly slip out of my grasp.

"Whoa, there!" Emmett yelled, running down the steps and relieving me of my burden. "I got these." He took them from my arms like they weighed nothing and went back into the house.

I stood there staring at the open door and lost in my thoughts until a hand on my shoulder startled me.

"You want to talk about it?" Rosalie asked. She was much less put together on moving day than she normally was, but somehow she managed to make the jeans and holey sweatshirt look good.

"About what?"

"You know, you can be honest with me. I don't know what was going on with you and Edward, but his absence has clearly affected you." Her tone was much more gentle and caring than the usual brashness she excelled at.

"There's not much to tell," I said. "I always knew he'd be leaving. I just didn't expect it to be so soon." I shrugged and stuffed my hands in the front pocket of my sweatshirt to keep them warm against the biting wind.

"Something tells me there's more to it than that."

"Yeah, well … it is what it is, I guess. I can handle it." I couldn't tell her all the reasons I had pushed him away or how I was starting to second guess every one of those reasons. I had to continue focusing on the good times, even when they left me with an empty ache in my chest knowing I'd never have them again. It was all made worse by the absence of Edward on that particular day since he had promised Emmett he'd help with the move.

February wasn't much better than January, although Alice was in full-blown wedding planning mode, which occupied my time and took my mind off of my own problems temporarily. My heart still jumped every time the phone rang, but I quickly became accustomed to the fact that it was always Alice calling to ask an opinion or give me another wedding-related assignment.

The wedding was planned for mid-April, which didn't leave us much time and meant that every detail had to be decided on quickly. Once the Brandons made their distaste for the union known, Alice had written off all of their concerns and focused on planning an event that fit her and Jasper instead of the society event her parents would have preferred. She was sending them an invitation, which was more than I would have done in her position, and honestly didn't seem concerned over whether they would come or not.

Alice had lucked out on a cancellation at The Water Works Restaurant on historic Boathouse Row and was able to reserve a small area that overlooked the Schuylkill River. It was a higher-end location than I thought they would go for, but she claimed it was too good to pass up and would make for a beautiful spring wedding. After visiting the site with her several times, I had to agree.

Alice had already purchased her dress, so today she was set on torturing me with picking out mine.

"Come on, Bella. We need to find _something_ you like. You might need time for alterations, and the wedding's only two months away," Alice whined.

I didn't see the need for me to be in some fancy dress when Alice was going to be the center of attention and there were only going to be about twenty-five guests. But it was her day, and I was trying to humor her. Unfortunately, my nearly constant somber mood made the task all the more difficult.

"Just not that one. It's way too revealing. I wouldn't be comfortable in it," I told her, staring down the scraps of fabric in her hand.

She rolled her eyes but relented, putting the light pink dress back on the rack. She shuffled through some more selections before pulling out another one. "Oh, I like this one!" She held it up so I could see more of the lavender dress.

I quirked an eyebrow, not entirely thrilled with the one-shoulder look. It wasn't really my style.

"Just try it on," she pleaded. "I have a feeling it will look fabulous on you, and maybe it'll even help get you out of your funk."

I rolled my eyes but relented to trying it on. "I'm not going to be wearing it until April, so if this is to help me get out of my funk, I'm thinking you need to come up with another plan."

"We'll see."

I snatched the hanger from her hand and headed into the dressing room that was already reserved for me. Quickly slipping out of my jeans and hoodie, I began pulling the dress up over my waist. I contemplated what to do about my bra and ultimately decided to take it off since the bust of the dress appeared tight enough.

I zipped up the back and stepped out of the dressing room in front of the three-way mirrors.

"Wow." Alice said it, but I felt it.

The dress was gorgeous and hung perfectly on my body. It wasn't so form-fitting that I was showing off all my assets, but it was sexy enough to make me feel confident. The darker lavender strapless dress was covered by a lighter chiffon layer that draped over one shoulder. It gathered gently over my bust and was secured underneath, flowing down in soft pleats to my knees.

"What do you think?" I asked Alice over my shoulder in the mirror.

"I think it's perfect, as long as you're comfortable in it."

"Surprisingly, I love it." I smiled my first true smile in a month.

The dress didn't need any alterations, so I walked out with it in my hand, my purse two hundred fifty dollars lighter. It was more than I had wanted to spend, but it made Alice happy, and I had to admit it made me a little happy as well.

I thought by the time March rolled around I'd be in a better mood, not worse.

The efficiency project had ended about two weeks ahead of schedule, which was probably contributing to my depressed state. The project results were well received by the board of directors, so much so that some of the ideas were going to be implemented in other offices. For me, all it meant was that my last possible tie to Edward was gone, and every day I was regretting my choices more and more.

I never had the courage to ask Tanya about him. We had developed a decent working relationship, but it was all very professional. I frequently found myself wondering if he was still in Forks, if he was back at work in Seattle, or if he had been assigned a new project. He could have been anywhere in the country by now.

As the days dragged on, I felt myself getting farther and farther away from Edward. That should have made me feel better, but instead, the ache in my chest grew.

Alice continually tried to get me to come to Whit's with her, but one failed attempt was enough for me. I had gone on a Saturday night thinking I could just hang out with my friend. We had sat at the bar, and as usual, several men had hit on me. Alice's engagement ring seemed to be a natural deterrent for her. After a while, I had decided that it couldn't hurt to look. Maybe all I needed to get over Edward was another man.

I had looked. I had tried. But it hadn't taken long to determine that none of the men at the bar even came close to measuring up to Edward.

_Too short._

_Too muscular._

_Too dark._

In the end, it had all come down to one thing. None of them were Edward.

I continued to stay holed up in my apartment on weekends with the exception of meeting Alice for wedding planning. One Saturday morning in mid-March, when my mood was at its lowest, I agreed to meet her at Cherry Street for breakfast.

Alice went over a few wedding details while we sipped on our coffee and waited for the waitress to take our orders. Once we ordered, she announced she was going to go to the bathroom before our food arrived. I let my head thump against the high wood of the booth and closed my eyes while I tried to control my thoughts. I needed to be present for Alice and not continually mulling over my own mistakes.

Alice returned to the table with a strange smirk on her face. Instead of continuing where we left off, she shoved the large wedding binder down on the booth seat next to her. I looked at her over the rim of my coffee cup with one eyebrow raised, wondering what she was up to.

"I've been trying to leave you alone about this," she said quietly, "but you just continue to get worse."

I narrowed my eyes at her and sat my coffee cup down. "I'll get over it. Don't worry."

She let out a long sigh. "I know what this weekend would have meant, Bella, and I'm afraid things are only going to get worse from here."

"I'm sure things will start looking up for me soon," I countered. "He would have been leaving around now, and I was prepared for that. I'm sure this is just a temporary slump."

My eyes were so focused on Alice that when the waitress asked, "What else can I get ya, hon?" I turned, confused since we'd already ordered. She wasn't standing at the end of our booth though, and must have been waiting on the person behind me.

I turned back to Alice and found her watching the waitress. When her eyes finally returned to me, she picked up right where she left off. "Is that really what you think?" She had that look about her—the one that told me she would see through my bullshit.

"I don't know," I relented. "I mean, I thought this would be easy. I've never gotten attached before, so I didn't expect it to happen this time."

"You've also never given yourself much of a chance to get attached."

"You're right, but Edward was the first person I even had a remote interest in getting attached to, and that's what scared the shit out of me." I sighed and leaned back so the waitress could place my plate in front of me. Once she was gone, I picked up my fork but mostly used it to push the food around. "It doesn't matter though. I made my choice and now I have to live with the consequences."

"Would you do things differently if you had another chance?" Alice shoveled a bite of pancake into her mouth and leveled me with her look.

I took a small bite of my food and chewed it while I thought. "Probably … yes. I mean, hindsight is 20/20, but what's the use in torturing myself with those thoughts when it's never gonna happen? He's gone. He never even acknowledged my phone call. He's probably got another fuck buddy in whatever city he's working in now."

"You don't know that," she said with a shrug. Then she looked down at her plate in an uncharacteristic act of shyness. "He'll be at the wedding." Her words were mumbled, so it took a second for them to register in my mind. When they did, my eyes went wide.

"What?" I yelled before lowering my voice. "What do you mean? He's coming back here?"

She dropped her fork on the plate and looked at me, her fingers moving nervously over the laminate tabletop. "Jasper got pretty friendly with him while he was here."

"So all this time, Jasper's been talking to him and you didn't even bother to tell me?" I accused.

She rolled her eyes. "First of all, I didn't even know until he said he wanted to invite him to the wedding. Second of all, they haven't been talking that much. It was just a few times around when his mom died, and then a few more times recently."

"Alice," I hissed. "What am I going to do? How am I supposed to even make it down the aisle if I know he's there?"

"I don't know. Maybe you can consider it your second chance. Maybe you need to just plan on apologizing for the way you treated him at the end. Maybe you'll be able to move on if you make amends." She paused and cocked her head to the side. "Do you _want_ to move on?"

I exhaled a breath and let my fork fall to the plate with a clatter, giving up all pretense of eating at that point. The few bites that had made it in my mouth were already sitting like a lead balloon. "I don't know," I whispered.

"You don't know because you want to continue punishing yourself, or you don't know because you have feelings for him?" she asked, getting right to the heart of the matter. She reached across the table and put her hand over top of mine when I didn't answer. "Bella, are you in love with him?"

I squeezed my eyes shut against the threatening tears, afraid of the answer even though I knew what it was. I never would have admitted it to myself, but Alice had that way of getting at the truth.

"Yes," I finally croaked, my voice thick.

A thump against the wall of the booth startled me, causing me to jump. I whipped my head around, only to come face to face with the high-backed wood. Alice had a sad smile on her face when I returned my attention to her.

"I really think everything's going to be okay," she offered. "Let's just wait and see. No sense worrying about something that's still a month away."

If Alice had been trying to get my mind off of Edward, she had done a shitty job of it. Two hours later, my thoughts were still swirling with concern over seeing him at the wedding and my admission of being in love with him.

I needed something else to focus on, so I turned up my stereo and lost myself in the wonders of apartment cleaning while Queen played in the background. I scrubbed the bathroom, washed dishes and folded and put away laundry.

I was dancing around the living room with the vacuum cleaner when I saw Sandy jump from her perch on the arm of the couch. I expected her to run and hide in the bedroom since the vacuum was getting closer, but instead she ran to the door.

I moved around the coffee table, figuring she'd run away soon enough as I got closer to her new spot. She paced in front of the door, her little body rubbing up against it with every pass. I shook my head at her craziness. When the vacuum was nearly on top of her and she didn't run, I turned it off to see what was wrong with her. She hated that thing and would typically hide under the bed when it got too close.

As soon as the noise stopped, a knock sounded at the door. I looked down at my cat again, cocking my head and wondering why she wasn't crying. And then I wanted to vomit as the realization set in.

On shaky legs, I made my way over to the door. I looked through the peephole and sucked in a gasp.

Edward Masen was on the other side.

* * *

**A/N: Let me hear what you think! I'll post a teaser over the next few days, and then I'll see you on Monday.**


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20**

It felt surreal, looking at Edward on the other side of my door. I had given up hope that it would ever happen, and I certainly would not have expected it so soon after my discussion with Alice. My mind was whirling.

What was he doing here? What would I say to him? Was he still angry?

"Bella?" His muffled voice interrupted my musing, and I gulped before slowly opening the door.

Sandy darted around the door before it was fully open. I would have been concerned about her taking off down the hall if I didn't know her only destination was Edward—a place I desperately wanted to be as well.

While I was busy gawking at the sight before me, Edward leaned down and picked up the loudly purring cat. "Hey there," he cooed. He had a soft smile on his face before he leaned in and buried his nose in her neck. When he cuddled her to his chest, his eyes finally met mine.

The green was so much more intense than I remembered it, like he was seeing straight through to my soul, and all the questions in my brain dissipated as quickly as they had entered.

"Are you just here to see my cat?" The words flew out of my mouth, more bitter than I expected, but my mind was still a jumble of emotions.

"Um, no." The light smile stayed on his face. "Can I come in?"

I glanced behind me and then shook my head at my stupidity. Whatever he was here for, it certainly wouldn't be handled with him standing in the hallway. "Right … sure." I stepped back and let him enter, still holding Sandy in his arms.

"Thanks."

"Uh … have a seat. Can I get you a drink?" I offered nervously. I stood wringing my hands together while he settled on the couch and my cat made herself comfortable in his lap with her motor still running at full volume. It didn't look like she would be leaving him any time soon. "I've got beer, water, soda … I might have some juice." I called all the options over my shoulder as I walked into the kitchen.

There was so much I needed to say, but I was caught off guard by his sudden appearance. Also, he must have had a reason for being here in the first place. Maybe he had something he wanted to say first.

"Bella?" he called while my head was buried in the refrigerator. "I don't need a drink. Can you just come sit down for a minute?"

I closed the door but continued to face it with my eyes scrunched closed for a moment. Then I took a deep breath and exhaled slowly before turning and heading to the living room.

My bottom lip was caught between my teeth as I sat on the edge of the chair near Edward. I couldn't bring myself to look at him, so I stared at my lap instead.

"Why are you here?" I finally asked quietly.

He exhaled noisily. "There are quite a few reasons. I'm not even sure where to start."

Alice's words from earlier in the day played through my mind, and I made the quick decision that he needed to hear my apology before anything else. Even if he was only in town to pack up the rest of his belongings and then I'd never see him again, I would never be able to move on if I didn't get that out.

"Can I start?" I asked, finally looking up at him with pleading eyes.

"What?"

"I have something I need to say." He looked perplexed but nodded his approval. "I'm sorry for the way I hurt you and for pushing you away so much. I had my reasons—valid or not—but I shouldn't have acted the way I did. I never meant for anyone else to get hurt because of my problems. There are a lot of things I'd take back now if I could." The last few words were only a whisper.

I wrung my hands as I watched his wide-eyed expression turn into a smirk. "I appreciate that," he said with a nod, "but I actually came here to apologize to you."

I furrowed my brow and shook my head. "I don't understand. You didn't do anything you need to apologize for."

"Of course I did. Neither of us was blameless," he said softly. "I shouldn't have pushed you the way I did." He began ticking items off on his fingers. "I should have told you when my feelings began to change. I should have been upfront with my plans for the future. I should have _made_ you listen, even at the risk of having you run away from me. And most of all, I shouldn't have blown up at you like I did that night."

"No, I'm pretty sure you were right to have given up on me at that point. I mean, maybe if the circumstances had been different, we would have had time to work through it." I shrugged. "But your reaction was probably a long time coming."

He studied me for a moment. "We'll have to agree to disagree on that, but you're right about the circumstances getting in the way. I knew what I was getting into with you, Bella. I just realized too late that I should have handled things differently."

His eyes never left mine as I nodded my agreement, but his expression turned remorseful.

"Okay," he said on a sigh. "There's something I need to tell you before anything else, but I need you to promise to hear me out and not freak out until I'm done."

I gave a wary nod.

With a deep inhale and exhale, he began speaking. "I've been in touch with your mother—" My mouth opened to yell at him, but he silenced me with a look, reminding me of my promise. "I'm not going to apologize for what I did, Bella, especially not now, but I am going to explain."

Thinking of his recent loss, I held my tongue and allowed him to continue.

"The day we met her for lunch, after you stormed out, I decided to give her a piece of my mind. I told her she had no right to even try to talk to you anymore.

"She looked really remorseful, so I decided to hear what she had to say. She told me what she said to you came out all wrong and explained that she really did want to try to be part of your life, but she needed help getting back on her feet."

"Bullshit," I said under my breath.

"I made a decision," he continued, ignoring my commentary, "that she needed a chance to prove herself. I gave her my number and told her if she was serious she should call me, because from then on, she'd need to go through me to get to you. I made it clear that she was not to contact you unless I gave her permission."

He let out a breath, like he was weighing his next words carefully. "She called me a few days later. I'll spare you the details, but I loaned her enough money to secure an apartment—which I paid directly to the landlord—and gave her just enough cash to help her until she found a job. She ended up getting a job in customer service for a local company and has already started paying me back and making her own way.

"I'm not saying you need to believe she's turned over a new leaf or that you even have to talk to her, but I needed you to know what was going on and what my part in it was."

"Why would you even …" I shook my head, unable to comprehend why he'd want to get in the middle of my mess, let alone take a chance on giving _that woman_ any money.

"I'm not sure how a smart woman like you hasn't figured this out yet," he said, reaching over and putting his hand over both of mine in my lap. Sandy jumped off his legs as he scooted toward the edge of the couch, lifting my chin when I didn't look up at him. "But I care about you, Bella. A lot. I couldn't stand to see you hurting over your relationship with your mother knowing she was all the family you had left. I didn't want you to one day regret that you didn't give her another chance."

I swallowed hard and turned my head; the intensity in his jade gaze was disarming. "Just because she got a job doesn't mean I'm going to go running back to her," I said with a scoff.

"I know that. She still has a lot to make up for, but she couldn't do that without the ability to prove herself first. All I did was give her a fighting chance. What she does with that from here on out is up to her."

I nodded slightly, my vision fixed on a spot on the wall over Edward's right shoulder. My earlier jumble of thoughts had nothing on what was going through my head now.

"You haven't kicked me out or yelled at me yet," Edward murmured, "so can I take that as you're not angry with me for interfering?"

I blew a noisy breath through pursed lips. "I'm not sure what I'm feeling right now. I mean, I haven't thought about my mother in a while, and I certainly didn't expect for you to show up at my apartment today." My mind went back to my first question. "Why _are_ you here?"

Edward sat back and rubbed his palms on the thighs of his dark jeans. "Because it was always my plan to come back," he said simply.

"What?" I snapped, eyes wide.

He shrugged. "This is where we get to some of those mistakes I've made. I tried to tell you a few times, but I never said what really needed to be said. I was afraid of you running away, so I let myself back out of telling you the truth on quite a few occasions. I thought I could let my actions speak for me."

"Okay," I said, brows drawn together. "You're going to have to explain that because you've lost me."

He leaned forward with his forearms on his knees, but his eyes stayed on mine. "I don't know when things actually started to change, when I started wanting more, but by December I had asked my boss for a permanent relocation."

My mouth opened, but he wasn't finished.

"In January, the night everything … happened, I was going to tell you that I got it, that I was going to be moving to Philly."

"Wha—" I squeezed my eyes closed and shook my head then opened them and stared at him as I tried to get a hold of my thoughts. "What about your mom? You were going to move here when she still lived in Washington? And what about now? You said you _were_ going to move to Philly."

"First of all, my mom knew about you and the relocation, and she was thrilled for me. Nothing would have changed. As it was, I was rarely home, and I still would have been able to make regular visits for long weekends or holidays.

"And to answer your other question … I got back into town two days ago to sign the extension on my lease."

He leaned back onto the couch cushion with his final word, letting the implication settle around us. My mind was working overtime, and instead of focusing on the fact that he just told me he was here to stay, I jumped on another issue that was still floating around.

"Wait a minute," I said, eyes narrowed in accusation. "Did Alice know you were coming back? Did she know you were here?"

He actually looked sheepish for a moment before he answered. "She didn't know I was coming back until recently, and I don't think she knows I'm staying. Only Jasper knew, and I asked him not to tell her. As for her knowing I was already here"—he let out a sigh—"she also didn't know that until this morning." The last few words were mumbled.

"What?" I yelled, causing him to cringe.

"I swear, it was just a coincidence!" he defended, palms out and leaning forward again. "I couldn't very well walk past you once I realized who was behind me in the diner."

My mind quickly worked through all of the details, coming to the conclusion that he had heard every word I said to Alice earlier. I groaned and buried my face in my hands. "At least that explains why she suddenly didn't want to talk about the wedding anymore," I mumbled to myself.

"Bella," he said quietly, and I noticed him lean closer to me out of the corner of my eye. "I would have been coming here to talk to you anyway. I just had to get some things taken care of first."

I closed my eyes in embarrassment, thinking over all the things I had admitted to Alice—and myself—just that morning.

"Hey." He gently grabbed each of my wrists and pulled my hands from my face. "Come here." My body followed like the pathetic puppy dog I was, unable to resist being close to him any longer. He pulled my arms around his neck and leaned back on the couch, settling my body on his thighs as I straddled him.

"Look at me … please," he pleaded, his velvet voice difficult to resist. I shook my head and squeezed my eyes shut like a petulant child, but he lifted my chin and his lips touched mine. My eyes flew open in surprise. I didn't know if I wanted to smack him or beg for more. "There you are." He smiled that crooked smile that got me every time and continued in nearly a whisper. "Would it help if I told you I've been in love with you for a while?"

"What?" I whispered.

He nodded and placed his hands on either side of my face, holding me like I was the most precious thing to him, as he'd done so many times before. "Something else I need to apologize for. I should have told you, but I didn't want to scare you away. I was selfish and wanted whatever part of you that you were willing to give me." His thumbs stroked my cheekbones. "But now I want it all. All of you. I don't want to settle for less … I love you, Bella."

Tears threatened my eyes, but instead of caring I let them build. I closed them briefly as I processed his words, my hands holding his against my face. His thumb gently wiped at a drop that escaped and rolled onto my cheek. There was no denying the sincerity of his words. I could see in his eyes that he meant every one of them.

I wasn't sure I would live through it if he left me at this point, but walking away from him wasn't an option either. I already knew how painful that was and that it was the biggest mistake of my life. It was time to take a chance with my heart.

I took a deep breath and then whispered my confession. "I love you too, Edward."

Leaning forward, he met me halfway with a kiss full of promise for the future.

* * *

**A/N: Your reviews for the last chapter really made my day! Yes, many of you guessed that Edward was in the restaurant, but no, Alice did NOT set it up. She just took advantage of the situation for Edward's and Bella's sake.**

**The article I wrote for PTB's Smut University will be published this week. I'll be sure to post a link on Facebook once it's out.**

**Just a quick reminder … if I can't see that you are at least 18 on your public Facebook profile, I can't accept your friend request.**

**See you on Thursday!**


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